Wednesday, July 30, 2008

How to get on the Fugly blog in 5 easy steps!

1. Name your farm based upon your sickening and disgusting irresponsibility toward animals.

"Along with horses also came "barn cats". Momma cats have babies, and they are always underfoot and get too tame and unafraid of the vehicles. One day John was looking around at all the gimpy cats (that got run over by the truck but not mortally wounded) and stated "This looks more like a crippled cat ranch than a horse ranch" and the name stuck."

As I frequently say, folks, I couldn't make this shit up...This is their ACTUAL logo, by the way. Seriously. These knuckle-dragging Neanderthals think it's FUNNY that they've run over so many of their cats with their truck.

2. Choose broodmares that are terrible representatives of their breed. Like an AQHA mare with no hip, no muscling and a super short croup with a high tail set. Bonus points if you photograph them in ribby condition and pregnant and with a pissed-off look on their face.

Can't really say I blame her!

3. Have a page entitled performers where you brag about your horses who have gone to the Foundation QH shows (known for shaggy, nasty looking horses in nylon halters) for halter class. Um, performance has to do with performing.

4. Leave really long drag ropes on your babies because you are too lazy to halter break them. Bonus points for attaching really long drag ropes to 100% nylon halters so that they can strangle themselves to death if they get hung up.

5. Although you brag about breeding linebred Poco Bueno horses, have the ONLY mention of HERDA on your site be contained in the description on one of your broodmares - a mare where I think I can see skin damage in the picture you posted!

"Abbalena (Tangy's Classy Peppy X Smile Ima Lena) 1999 AQHA sorrrel mare. Both parents were NCHA money earners, and she has a royal pedigree - she's a granddaughter of Peppy San Badger and Doc O Lena on the top side, plus a granddaughter of Doc O Lena on the bottom side. We think she is a HERDA afflicted mare, so we will be very careful who we breed her to. Her 2007 baby will appear on the foals page very soon. She has been bred to Cinco Cash Cat for a 2008 foal."
We THINK? We THINK? We THINK? *head explodes* GET YOUR BREEDING STOCK TESTED! ALL OF IT! NOW! I simply DO NOT understand how you people can risk reproducing a condition that is incredibly painful for the horse when it is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT AVOIDABLE!

No wait. You think running over your cats is cute. OK, never mind...I guess I get it now.