Sunday, July 20, 2008

Another one of those weekends where I just can't get organized...

So you're getting a little bit of this and a little bit of that!

First off - seriously, people, I am not being a meanie when I suggest that you need to be able to walk, trot and canter without your stirrups before you start jumping. I truly DO NOT want to see you get hurt. This woman IS going to get hurt. She is extremely loose and precariously perched up there. She does not even know how to hold English reins. I am glad she is wearing a helmet and boots but all the safety equipment in the world cannot protect you when this is how you ride. You are just not ready to jump. Please, please, please, for the love of God, back to flatwork! Now!

Big FHOTD kudos to auctioneer Allen Murphy, who runs the Pony Express Auction. I hear Mr. Murphy has been snarking the asshats big time, right to their slimy little faces. Observe:

"March 22nd 2008 - The auctioneer saves the day again. Also, for those who do not know, the auctioneer is none other than Allen Murphy, owner of the sale barn. He bought almost ten skinny horses for $25-$400 and shook his head in disgust. He said something to the people who brought them to. One of the things he said went along the lines of "I would kick you out of here, but I'm gonna let you sell your horse in hopes that it gets a better home." After commenting on the shape of a 16 month old BROKE TO RIDE dun colt, he also said: "Where are the PETA people when you actually need them" He also paid for a couple other horses for other people, like he did with the bay mare. A guy came in with a 6 year old stallion that really needed to be a gelding, and when someone asked if the horse was broke, the guy said he didn't know but would find out... he proceeded to tie the leadrope around, and jump on the horse bareback. When the horse got nervous and moved around, the guy kicked him in the stomach. Allen quickly put an end to that. At the end of the sale, Allen made the comment "My luck I'll be on the internet again!" I had to laugh, wandering if he meant your blog, when he was mentioned about the other skinny horse."

Mr. Murphy, if you are single, you ought to send me your e-mail address, because I think I can get about 320 women in your area fighting over you with a single post. :-) What a NICE change from the usual (cough, cough, WOODBURN) auction where you cannot even take pictures because they're afraid you will turn someone in to animal control!

For those of you in Maryland who might want a new rescue project, I'm informed that Days End Rescue still has a bunch of the horses seized from hoarder wacko Barbara Reinken last year that could really use homes of their own. Of course all rehab has been done at this point so they are ready to go. If you need a project, check them out! (Days End also has a couple Standardbreds that were being kept in a chicken coop, holy shit, terrible pics...those people need to be publicly flogged. I really think public flogging for animal abusers would be a great idea. I'm thinking we put it on Pay-per-view.) Days End has a lot of rideable, fully evaluated adoptables. Check them out!

I expected better from you Welsh pony people. Why do you have a barefoot child hugging on a foal on your magazine cover? And why is it that we can look down her shirt? Really, did anybody look at this picture before you decided to feature it? I can't believe that even though you are writing about a breed where you can find tons of pics of adorable hunter ponies and smiling ribbon-waving kids, you made such a poor choice.

Speaking of Welshies, I hear from several people that this chick is dumping her culls at the Hermiston auction. Really, I think there is a special place in hell for high-end breeders who do that. What, like you can't get off your dead ass and sell them to a 4-H or OHSET kid? Oh wait, then someone would know the Less Than Perfect Pony came from YOUR farm...

And here's another asshat breeding grade spotted things. Lots of them. The locals tell me these folks are pretty good for horse-beating masquerading as horse training, too. Greaaaat. 'Cause the only thing better than grade, spotted shit is headshy, traumatized, grade spotted shit.

Can't you just take one look at this guy and believe that he's a horse-beater? I sure can. He's just got that look to him. You aren't trainer of the year if you can make a horse lie down because you weigh more than it does.

Remember, if you're going to send me Craigslist posts, screen cap them. They won't still be there by the time I am likely to get to your e-mail. That way I can tell everybody to click on it (like at left) and they can see it in all its glory or lack thereof.

This was a few months ago so I do hope poor Addy got a home with someone who has some !$&*$!&$ hay. Grrrrrrrrr.

"Ed is a two year old dirty palomino gelding that we started when he was a year and seven months old. He will roll back on his hocks, has a great stop, and a pleasure lope. Not only that, but he will look at a cow and has even been used as a turnback horse during his training. Swing a rope off of him, log, even carry a tarp or a blanket flapping in the wind. Rode outside in the hills and nothing bothers him. See Ed at We have had Ed since he was a baby and have enjoyed seeing him mature. We are thrilled about his new home and future. CONGRATS MICHELLE AND EMILY!"

Michelle and Emily, you might want to think about buying stock in Luitpold and Pfizer, 'cause girls, you're gonna be buying A LOT of Adequan and Legend trying to keep Ed sound past age six.