Thursday, November 1, 2007

Something scary for Halloween!

I guess I should have posted this yesterday, to have something scary up on Halloween!

Gawd, not only is this thing structurally yucky (check out the shoulder, he should ride with all the smoothness and comfort of an Army issue Jeep), but he is small, skinny, wormy looking and appears to be living in a place that resembles the surface of the Moon. Nice.

The best part, as always! - is the delusion displayed in the ad text. My comments in blue, as usual.

"Juju is a tobiano paint colt who will be 2 in april. He is on the smaller side which is why i am selling him. Did you know that when you feed them properly, they grow? It's true! It's like magic! My friend has a 13.3 hand stocky, filled-out five month old - perhaps I can send you a picture for reference? I am very sad to sell him becasue he is an awesome horse. He has been worked with since birth (imprinted)and has THE BEST temperment. It's freakin' amazing how quiet they are when they're skinny and wormy, isn't it? You wouldn't want to feed them and make them hot or anything! He has no stud habits and is willing to do anything. Of COURSE, he's NOT GELDED, how did I just fucking KNOW? Since that shitty shoulder and hip just scream Stallion Quality! Juju has packed a saddle, 3 yr olds have sat on him and been led around of course they have, $10 said you'd be Mom of the Year along with Breeder of the Year, loads in trailer(practically on his own) well duh he's hoping to be taken somewhere there is some decent food! I'd load too!, stands for ferrier I always wonder who the ferrier is. Does he have fur and a tail? No wait, that's the furrier. No, wait, maybe the furrier hunts ferriers? That must be it. and vet, bathes ,clips and ties. This is going to be the easiest horse to finish and a perfect child's horse. I was really hoping to keep him becasue who is this Beca Sue you keep talking about? he has great markings he's a garden variety tobiano like a thousand other colts headed for slaughter as we speak and a one of a kind temperment. If kept as a stud i honestly think he will remain laid back and very calm. If kept as a stud, I will hurl. He loves kids and loves attention. He's hoping those kids have food, too. He is not stupid! He will back up if you pull on his tail as opposed to kicking you in the head which is what he really should do and he naturally overstrides what? Are you talking about overreaching like it's a good thing? I'm lost... little kids walk him down the road with no problem. He walks over tarps, through water, over logs, anything you name it he is willing to try in the hopes that he will be rewarded with food. He has NEVER bit or kicked or offered a buck to anyone Again, amazing how underfeeding guarantees a good "temperment" every time! It's the lazy horse trainer's key to success! . This horse is truely awesome. At this point I would have to agree that he is awesomely tolerant and deserves a better home! I have more pictures that i can send upon request. I am asking $2000 because i feel he is worth that and way more. I feel that George Clooney should stop dating those scrawny models and find a nice girl like myself who can clean a mean stall, but that feeling is not based in reality. Neither is yours. I will consider all offers. He is up to date on all vaccinations. Dont miss out on this excellent horse. Im not sure how tall he will be so he may be a pony or small horse. Both his parents were 15.2 hands. and he would have been too if he weren't stunted thanks to you. I would finish him on my own but he is too small for me. since there has been PLENTY of food for me, that's been a high priority budget item, way above buying that expensive California hay!"

And the madness continues...