Thursday, August 9, 2007

Sport horse breeders: Please band together and kick these girls off the island

Thanks to an alert reader for sending this along! This ad is everything that is wrong with "Sport Horse" breeding today. These 2 girls in Massachusetts are trying to sell 3/4ths of an unborn foal for $5700. WTF? It does not even say in the ad what they are planning on breeding her TO. Could be a POA for all we know. Her sire is (SURPRISE!) a NON-approved Friesian stallion. Her dam is identified only as "Paint Mare." If those of you who breed good Friesian crosses would like for me to stop making fun of your breed of choice, you need to get together and run people like this out of town, preferably with tar and feathers. Their ad text in blue.

Our mare is a tri bay/white tobiano 1/2 Friesian paint cross mare, we are going to be breeding her in early 2008 for an early 2009 3/4ths Friesian cross. Buy unborn foal now and get to name it and pay 1/2 the price that everyone else is paying on 3/4ths already born! 50% chance of pinto coloring! If you buy now you can pick the stallion you want to breed her too, or wait to see what we breed her too! Price vary's for either Non-LFG or LFG contracts! email for websit. Dam is reg. with FSHR, and will be reg. with AWR, IFSHA, and SHOC.

For real, is there anybody on earth stupid enough to fall for this and pay these dimwits $5700?

They went real covert-like and posted only their first names and their phone number. So of course I googled their phone number, which led me to their byoootiful WYSIWYG nightmare of a site and statements like these:

We had originally wanted to breed pureblooded Friesians and found we could not afford that route, so instead we took our favorite next option of breeding the wonderful Friesian Sport Horses!

NO SHIT! I would never have fucking GUESSED that was your motivation! Thanks for proving my point that most of this faux designer warmblood shit was invented by people who cannot afford a real warmblood, but can't ride the cheap OTTB that would serve them perfectly well for their low level eventing and dressage pursuits.

We are looking for 1 Purebred Registered Friesian mare not for cross breeding but for a pure foals.

Huh? I need some kind of ignorant-person-who-failed-high-school-English online translator to read these kind of ads. Precisely how are you going to come up with the stud fee for "pure" foals? I guess by selling foals that might exist at some time in the future to beginner horsepeople who don't know any better.

We will be breeding for all disciplines, such as western, games, performance, dressage, jumping, hunter jumper, hunter flat work, trail ridding, and broodmares!

I just want to know how we go about ridding the horse industry of people like you. Maybe I can send a representative of Pre Paid Legal over to your home and they can convince you that's a better way to make easy money?

Then I found a picture of the mare whose as-yet-unconceived foal is for sale on Dreamhorse. It's too small to critique accurately but I do not think I am seeing a hind end that looks like it will produce a whole lot of great "ridding" horses.

She had her first foal by a Gypsy Vanner
Seriously, did some evil genius create this entire thing just as snark fodder? Please tell me this entire web site, ad, etc. is just a practical joke on me. Please.

Payments can be made for her 2009 3/4th Friesian Cross unborn foal, with 35% down (non-refundable), and then a payment when foal is born and the last payment due when foal is picked up.

OK, back up. You want $1995 down - NONREFUNDABLE - on a foal that has not even been conceived yet? If there really are people this dumb, can you send the ones you don't want over to me so that at least I can channel the two grand they are ready to flush down the crapper into rescuing and completely rehabbing a couple of OTTB's that actually exist?

All sales are finial on all horses/foals, there well be no refunds.
Because we will have already spent your money buying more shitty horses and tacky white trash t-shirts. (I know I said I wasn't going to start snarking on fugly people here, so I would never recommend that you find their web site and check out their pictures of themselves and their family. That would be wrong. Don't do it!)

OK, I know you will all be just SHOCKED but they also have a fugly cremello Quarter Horse for sale!

she is not registered or tested for the HYPP gene yet, that is why we are asking such a low price for her.

Call 911, my head just exploded and splattered all over. This mare is double bred Impressive, by the way.

It gets worse (truly, worse is possible, we're not done!) They are trying to sell an unborn foal out of her on an online auction site. Here is the description.

Asking $ 5,000.00 Sir height is : Dan Height is : 14.2hhs Look to see if anybody would be interested in a Buckskin, Palomino, Smoky black Sport Horse. Friesian baby in utero to a cream QH filly, for a 2009 baby. Will consider payments on the baby, now till it is ready to go home to you. You must take what ever she has, colt or filly. Call or email me.

In case you are wondering about the reason for selling this wonderous beast...

...was buying her for a broodmare only, but can not afford to keep her, she is also looking for a good home to nicely bred TB stallion that is for an experience stallion owner!

Translation: Cryptorchid, eats barn help for lunch, not halter broke.
And in case you are wondering what the going rate is for a fugly, stunted, not yet registered, possibly HyPP positive AQHA filly these days...

Asking $800.00 OB(she will come with her breeders certificate) unless we do her registion with testing will be $2000.00 firm.

What irresponsible sacks of selfish shit these people are. It is hard to recall another moment in the history of the FHOTD blog when I have felt like I have been sucked into such a deep vortex of stupid horse ownership and irresponsible horse breeding. Seriously, can someone go over there and convince them there's a better way to make a buck? Surely one of you knows a rabid Amway distributor? Or pre-paid phone cards? Or Carleton Sheets devotee? Someone, please, please, for the love of Epona, get these people OUT of the horse breeding business!