Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Hookd ohn Fonics Werked Fur Mie!

It's a little hard to judge this stallion based upon the picture below. Suffice it to say that I sure hope he is doing some weird Parelli-esque maneuver and has his two hind feet on a tree stump. That's quite a "nest" he's got going there and a stunningly weak loin attachment. But the best part is reading his owner's enthusiastic write-up, copied below. My comments are in blue. *sigh*
this picture does not do him justis (I don't know, it just is!) he is bigger than that (than the picture? Well damn I sure hope so. Otherwise call the Guiness Book!) and has a big heart girth too he is a great stallion and has great babyes (say what?) now taking booking for 2008 now thanks .his stud fee for 2008 will be $300. 00 dollar (*sings* I'm down to my last dollar...) and the booking fee will be $50.00 dollar .he is 18% three bars (and you got the other parts from where? FrankenHorse!), 9% depth charge and the pic does not do him justes (wow, two different misspellings of the same simple word in one run-on paragraph - now that is talent.) he has got so mouch biger seen than (WHAT?) then we have had a great responce this year thanks the pic was toke (Yes, that's a word you are familiar with, I am sure!) win he was a 2 year old stallion (thanks, but not buying it). we was running him he has got biger & wider sent thin (WTF?) I will try to get a beeter pic of him (oh shit, horse, run for your life, she's got the horse beeter out!) . this great stallion is easy to handle has run barrels I can breed with him and teez with him and is stall eazy to handel. his foals speek for there self thay all handel will (it's great that they're fans of classical music, who would have thought it, living behind your trailer?) and are easy to handel he pass his good mind and easy to lurn (shame you can't lurn as well as he can) on to foal. has a palomino jean (oh, awesome. Where can I buy me a pair of those? Can I get some grulla jeans too? That would rock.) that pop up some.his palomino foal was sleeping win I toke this pic (it was also invisible, shazam!). we will be shipping semen in 2008 (um does that mean you drive to the post office and are on the highways unsupervised? LOOK OUT TENNESSEE!) we are taking booking now. we have a live foal guantee to. we have $5.00 per dry mares and $10.00 per wet mares and we have stalls or paster (in case they feel the need for spiritual guidance) for mares and foals.if you push the pic of his dad he lookes just like him but just a lighter color. (deleted pedigree stuff) thanks for looking at the add and thanks for all the emails on this stallion (I can only imagine the e-mails on this stallion) thanks for all the great mares that was breed (my head hurts) this year thanks you all so much for beliving in us and these stallions THANKS (if you believe in her stallions, I'd like to offer you an amazing business deal as I have just won the lottery in Afghameshikstan and need a contact in the U.S. to handle the funds, for a generous fee, of course!)

And what was I just talking about yesterday...look, it's a baby behind three strands of barbed wire.

Barbed wire is not horse fencing. It's NOT. I will not gross out everybody by linking these pictures here. I'll just give you the links if you want to click on them, below. BUY DECENT FENCE FOR YOUR HORSES, DAMMIT. If you already have the T-posts in, it costs very little to run hot wire. But you might have to drag your butt outside and do it. I know, I just expect so much of you poor, put-upon backyard breeders...

Horses + Barbed Wire = BAD's/Veterinary%20Photos/digger19July.jpg's/Veterinary%20Photos/Barbed%20wire%20injury.JPG

These folks get two thumbs up from me because they have the guts to discuss the dangers of keeping horses in barbed wire on their web site (bet that pisses off the neighbors), as well as having a really great philosphy in general about how horses should live to stay healthy.