Saturday, August 11, 2007

At least those Britney & K-Fed kids have nannies... one would assume that someone with an IQ bigger than their bra size is watching out for them sometimes. The same cannot be said of these budding equestrians, who are being shamelessly exploited in an attempt to market horses. Because selling horses is SO much more important than your baby's skull!

Holy schmoley...yes, this looks every bit as bad as you think it does. This is a 4 year old mare which appears to be standing in a pasture. There does not appear to be any restraint on her other than the rope around her neck like a damn noose...which is held only by...the tiny little baby on her back. Is Parent of the Year carefully restraining this filly by holding her right nostril, or is his/her attention focused solely on photography? We will never know.

I am particularly curious about the life vest on the baby. Is Parent of the Year concerned he may be thrown into an adjacent pond? Or is this meant to protect his ribs? Since, you know, those are so much more important than your brain.

I have known and worked with many quiet weanlings, as I'm sure many of you have too. That does not mean we have forgotten that any normal foal has sudden bursts of energy, and you do not treat them like My Little Pony.

Truly, everything about this picture horrifies me beyond belief. From the child on the feet to the child on top of the baby, to Mother of the Year sitting right there blithely oblivious to the trip to the ER in her future, to the rope halter (!) on the baby with the attached lead trailing between his front legs and all the way back to his feet...and finally the conveniently located flimsy foldable lawn chairs just waiting to become part of the melee...Who does not see the almost inevitable "after" picture here? But hey y'all! Look at how quiet that foal is!


I should give this parent kudos for actually acquiring and using a helmet which appears to be an approved type for their tiny toddler. At least this way, when the yearling they are riding spooks and dumps them, they may avoid brain injury! Thank God for small things, huh?

People! Your toddler is not a piece of sacking-out equipment. If you MUST put something on your yearling's back to see if he's going to flip out, may I recommend an old shirt filled with some kitty litter? Or a pair of saddlebags? Using your child as a guinea pig and a marketing tool...well, I just don't know what to say to that.

And don't tell me YOUR weanling or YOUR yearling is so bomb proof this is perfectly safe. This is the only safe kind of a horse to let a child that small sit on. And the REALLY funny part is that Sega recommends the Dream Pony -which DOES NOT EVEN MOVE - for only ages FOUR and up!

Sega, you see, is run by people with college degrees...and lawyers.