Saturday, August 4, 2007


Just because the same comments keep popping up in the comments and in my e-mail...

Fugly Horse of the Day!

Q. What is the point of this blog?

A. To amuse, to entertain, to educate. Overall, to discourage irresponsible horse breeding, but I do address other topics, typically by popular request.

I am always surprised at how many people breed horses using less planning and forethought than they put into planning their kid’s birthday party. They will breed a horse because they like its color or they think it is a nice friendly horse and there’s nothing deeper than that going on. Then they are surprised when the foal doesn’t sell. The complaining starts about the expense of keeping all of the horses. The ads get more and more desperate. Next thing you know, here they come to the horse auction and there go three yearlings on Mr. Kill Buyer’s trailer. But you know, this is so hard for them. They didn’t want to sell the horses this way, they just had no choice. Bullshit. Everything right down the line has been a choice - they’ve just made bad ones and it’s the horses who suffer.

Q. Can I e-mail you?

A. Sure. It’s and I’m usually way behind reading it because I’m getting so much mail so don’t hold your breath on a response.

Q. Can I send you my horse to critique?

A. You can but again, I’m behind and honestly, they are piling up. I would not count on a response on that. There are tons of people equally or more qualified than I am to critique your horse. Take them to a show, go in halter/in hand, and ask the judge for feedback.

Q. Are you opposed to horse breeding?

A. Not at all. I fully support the breeding of horses with good conformation, good dispositions and athletic ability by breeders who are knowledgeable horsepeople well-versed in bloodlines, genetic defects, and the proper care of mare and foal including nutrition. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people breeding horses who do not meet these simple standards.

Q. Why are you so mean?

A. Being snarky is funny to many people and has made many comedians rich. If you think I’m mean, turn on a Sarah Silverman special sometime. (I love her, by the way) I’m not making money here, but the snark does keep people’s attention more than a boring daily lecture on conformation. If it upsets you to read, you might note that you are not in any way required to visit the blog. Look next to your head – no gun.

Q. Why do you make fun of fugly geldings if the point is to criticize breeding?

A. I make fun of fugly geldings because someone bred them. I give kudos to the person who recognized they should be gelded and carried that out.

Q. I think it’s wrong that you take pictures of people’s horses.

A. I think it’s wrong that those horses exist.

Q. What should people do with fugly horses? Do you want them sent to slaughter or something?

A. Of course not. I am 100% anti-slaughter and I’ve worked with many victims of abuse and neglect, both small and large animals. Fugly horses deserve a good life and proper care every bit as much as quality horses. They simply should not, under any circumstances, reproduce.

Q. If we only bred really good horses, people who don’t have a lot of money would never be able to afford horses.

A. Biggest load of bull crap I’ve ever heard. Even the best breeders have enough culls to keep every Pony Club and 4-H and trail rider in horses forever. Look at Secretariat. Great racehorse, gorgeous, indisputably breeding quality, but he sired a whole lot of mediocre horses. Nice minds, at least the ones I’ve met, but they didn’t cut the mustard on the track. You can breed wonderful horses to wonderful horses and still produce a fair share of mediocre horses that will have to be sold for substantially less money. Not to mention all of the fabulous horses that suffer an injury and need to retire to a lighter use home. There will never be an actual shortage of affordable horses.

Q. You’re wrong about just the fugly horses going to slaughter. We rescued Blah Blah Racehorse who won 8 zillion dollars on the track from New Holland!

A. There is an exception to every rule. Yes, some excellent horses take a wrong turn in life. But every time I go to an auction that has killer buyers at it, I see that the vast majority of horses going to his trailer are really horrid looking young stock (3 and under, typically barely halter broke, often without papers) or horses 15+ years old who are totally broken down and crippled, often as a result of having conformation that predisposed them to conditions like navicular disease. People like to talk about the rare “celebrity” rescue horses because it results in more attention from the public and more donations for the rescue. I’m not begrudging the rescues this – it’s a good fundraising tactic. Still, it doesn’t mean that your typical horse heading off to become a steak is a stakes winner. Most of them are sad little horses who have had sad little lives full of poor care, irresponsible ownership, and in some cases, serious physical deformities.

Q. I’d like to see a picture of you! You’re probably fugly!

A. And I’ll put that up just as soon as I start criticizing how human beings look. If you want to criticize horses I’ve owned or own, I already did that post – July 4, 2007. Much of what I own is fugly. Nothing I own is pregnant.

Q. You just don’t like my breed!

A. I try to balance pictures of horses I don’t like with horses I do like of the same breed. And just because I don’t personally care for a breed doesn’t mean I don’t know what a good one looks like. If it’s a breed I truly do not know anything about – I don’t critique it unless it’s got some really obvious flaw that would be a problem in anything that whinnies.

Q. Who the hell are you that you think you can judge everybody?

A. I’m just another citizen of the Land of the Free, where we are all free to judge anybody we like. You can start your own blog and criticize me, if you’d like. Blogger is free to use and simple to set up! And yeah, I know I suck about formatting posts...I just haven't had time to figure out why the HTML on this thing is so wacky.

Q. You’re not very Christian!

A. You’re right.

Q. You’re just some amateur with a bad attitude!

A. In this context, I’m just another horseperson with an opinion. If you disagree, feel free to comment. I am not blocking anybody from commenting, nor do I delete comments.

Q. I figured out who you are!

A. Did you want a cookie? Here’s how this is going to work: If someone does identify me accurately (and no, I am not the girl who just bought the Appaloosa from someone and claimed to be the Fugly horse blogger. Although I find that story positively hilarious, I last purchased an Appaloosa around 1993), I will put up my regular e-mail address and a paypal link and everybody who likes this blog can send me money to continue my horse rescue efforts. Cool, huh?

Q. It’s not fair to criticize so-and-so for sending their horse to auction. Not everybody is rich like I am sure YOU are, they had no choice!

A. I’m not rich but I do have enough money management skills to ensure that I don’t have to send horses to auction, because, shazam, fall came and what do you know, hay costs money! Sure, hay has gone up. Gasoline has gone up too, do you use that as an excuse not to go to work?

Q. How would you feel if a horse didn’t get sold as a result of your blog!

A. Ha ha, first of all I’m not so egotistical as to think the whole equestrian world reads my blog and takes it as gospel – but I’m flattered you think I have that kind of power. Second of all, if someone walks away from a horse featured here and instead rewards a breeder who has done their homework and bred a higher quality horse? I’m thrilled.

Q. How dare you say that about my horse? I’m going to sue you!

A. Whatever floats your boat. You may wish to speak to an attorney about whether or not you have a case. Two key concepts – “Fair use” and the fact that you have the right to respond to your heart's content in the same public forum. As I said, I do not censor comments. Come on over and call me every name in the book and defend the honor of your Andafriesanwalker if it makes you happy.
Q. You're making money selling Fugly Horse Swag! That's not right!
A. No, CafePress is making money selling Fugly Horse Swag. I marked everything up a dollar or less and so far have made a total of four dollars and fifty-six cents. I am hoping to buy some dewormer for one of my rescues by the end of the month. If it makes you feel better, I will scan the receipt when I do so.

Finally, to the lady who asserted that I was to blame for the entire world becoming more looks-ist or something, you are working too hard on your thesis. Step away from the computer. Go get a beer. You’ll feel better.

OK, I just can't resist posting a few more of the Cream of Craigslist. Sweet Jesus, would you post this picture?

This person is looking for someone to train her Thoroughbreds for the track. She wants someone to come and ride 3 colts 3x/week for $300 a month. Look, cheap miserable bitch. Stop worrying about training and sell those poor things to someone who can afford to feed them. This colt looks like death warmed over. Of course you can sit on him bareback, you moron - he doesn't have the strength to protest!

The text of this ad speaks for itself:
I have 5 horses for trade
all broke horses have not Benn rode for at least 2 years looking for a nice 21-27 foot boat and trailer can be a fixer upper but depends on the make and how much needs done on it or ford f-250/f-350 truck or????????????