Monday, May 12, 2008

Folks, pass me that Sea Monkey breeding kit again...

We have GOT to mail it to this chick.

Where do I EVEN begin. OK, that's her broodmare there on the left. We'll call her Old Ay-rab. I do not know what to make of that fence. (Click on the pic to see a larger version). D.C. (Dumb Chick) starts off her thread by telling us all that her 15 year old Arab mare is bred to a black tobiano stallion. Allow me to quote: "I went out to feed and check on her and noticed her teets had 'moved'. I was checking to see if she was startin a bag but instead found her teets and moved south."

She goes on to share how her last foaling experience went with this mare:

"My horses live 20 miles away. So the chances of me catching her foaling is slim. Heck, her last foal I was living on the property they were on and had her locked in a stall with a run, checking on her every thirty minutes and still missed the birth, found the baby still in the sac, she had walked as far away from him as she could. He was in the stall and she was at the far end of the run in a severe thunderstorm. I bucket fed him for two weeks (he did get colostrum from her because I forced her to let him nurse but she never did produced milk) before he died. Vet said he had a hole in his heart and was suprised he survived that long."

Awesome. So she already produced a foal with a problem...but guess what, it's not the first foal she's had with a problem! Keep on reading!

"I am hoping for a painted arab but will be happy if it lives. Rains track record isn't good. She is a SCID carrier and her previous owners didn't bother to test her and bred her every year to the same stallion. Every foal died. When I got her she was obviously pg but they couldn't tell me when she was due. That foal also died. Her next foal was an accident (long story) by a different stallion and was a healthy little boy. Next foal was by my friends stallion and was to be my keeper but died from a heart condition. So this is my last shot, this one doesn't make it I am just going to buy one or pay for a custom breeding from a breeder."

Fantastic! She is a SCID carrier with a long line of dead foals in her history! But I guess you just had to breed her because, conformationally, she is so speshul.

Um...maybe not. So, is she tied to the weird yellow metal stake growing out of the ground by her face? Kinda looks like it as something is pulling that rope halter into her eye. Hey, check out those underrun heels and long toes - when is her next farrier appointment? Let me guess - the fifth of Never!

(Again, just click to see a larger pic. Lots to see!)

Well, maybe it is that the stallion is so super speshul that his Magikal Sperm can improve on anything!

Or not.

Good Lord. If whoever owns this stallion wants to step forward, we will take up a collection to get him gelded. I mean, there isn't one thing here, not one thing at all, that would make me think "stallion quality." That's a particularly remarkable example of having no hip at all. It isn't easy to find an APHA stallion that has just as crappy a hip as that Arabian mare above, but D.C. managed to do it!

On the plus side, he looks like at least they trim his feet!

At this point, a poster named Faceman steps in to point out that there really isn't a good reason to breed a SCID carrier. Thank you, Faceman. Of course, D.C. has plenty of justifications for why HER SCID carrier is speshul and should have baybees.

"This foal will be tested at birth for the disease even though it will only be half arab. It is mine to keep and have no plans on breeding it or Rain again. I know things can happen that are beyond our control and sometimes have to sell our keepers but at least it will be tested. If it is a colt it will already be gelded!"

At birth? LOL...Come on sweetie, nobody believes you. If you think that b/w tobiano is stallion quality, I'll bet you a six pack you'll think your "painted Arab" is stallion quality, too. After all, you left
THIS a stud. Or you'll wait til it is two and breeds its mother (you've already admitted to one accidental breeding of this mare - let me guess, this was the daddy!) and then go, well shucks, I didn't know he could breed already!

Faceman very accurately points out "The problem is not everyone tests, as evidenced by the trail of death your mare has left behind. By perpetuating this disease we are insuring that that trail of death continues." Bingo!

So then a few people manage to comment on the mare's weight in a way that won't get them banned by the Sunshine and Butterflies Board. Of course, D.C. has excuses for that too:

"I have owned Rain for five years, I have fought the whole time to put and keep weight on her. I have tried everything under the sun to help the process. The tops of her hips by the tail bone always show, the vet said that they will proboly never go away, and she usually shows a few front ribs. At this point right now she is actually the fatest she has ever been. Her pec muscles are nice and plump, the vet says until she has the foal that is the only real way to base her weight. When I got her she didn't have any pecs at all."

OK, why would you BREED something you can't keep weight on anyway? Doesn't it stand to reason that doing something to a mare that makes her burn MANY more calories a day is not so fucking smart when she's thin to begin with? Who's your vet? Some old dairy vet who thinks everything has hipbones like that? You base her weight on how her PECS look? WTF? Honey, I could have the hip bones not showing on your mare in two months. If you weren't in Oklahoma, I'd challenge you to a horse fattening-up contest.

Oh hell, it's not over. People like this just keep talking and every post is dumber than the last! Someone else comments on how the mare is too thin and here's D.C.'s response:

"I cannot increse her feed anymore without risking founder or colic. I have tried to give her alfalfa pellets and she don't like them. And I haven't seen alfalfa hay around here ever. She is already getting supplements to help with her weight and the pregnancy. I am doing all I can for her, she is just always thin but healthy."

Yes, you're right. THERE IS NO ALFALFA IN OKLAHOMA. NONE. You know, Oklahoma is like MARS! No alfalfa there!

*headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk* Of course, it IS true you won't get alfalfa for the $6 a bale you are paying for shitty Bermuda grass. Don't even try to tell me your mare "don't like" alfalfa.

By the way, if they don't want to eat pellets, you throw a little sweet feed or oats or something they DO like in there and mix it up. It is not brain surgery, but clearly it is beyond your ability to figure out.

She CAN however, figure out that the cure for the comments she is getting is not to post any more pictures showing how thin the mare is! "I can post bag pics but I won't be doing anymore profiles of her, it seems to upset some people that she looks thin depending on the day/position of the foal and the closer she gets to foaling the more her tail head shows." Yeah, honey. She ONLY looks thin because she's pregnant. Why don't anybody else's pregnant mares look like that, then?

Of course then some enabler comes along and posts "Saw this post and just wanted to say that your mare is beautiful!" Guess where Mary Sunshine lives? In the
place we picked up the Fat Ay-rab. LOL. Classic!

Then someone else posts a picture of their (healthy looking) mare to compare and of course D.C.,totally oblivious, says they are just as wide. Well, maybe in the gut but the
bay mare is a healthy pregnant mare weight, you dipshit! I know it's not an Arab, but still - how can you not see the difference between that horse and your horse?

Oh, and then D.C. announces she is going to be gone all weekend on a ride. No mention of anyone watching the mare while she is gone... *headdesk*

Anyway, D.C. realizes it is not so smart to have the mare 20 miles away, so she moves her to...her backyard. Right behind her trailer. (Sorry, folks, I know a lot of good people live in trailers, but the D.C. has got Trailer Trash written all over her!) Complete with loose shit lying around and check out the sharp edges on the fence piece. And then she starts posting about how tornadoes have been coming through. But hey, the mare has a shed to go into. No pics of aforementioned shed yet. Shall we all take bets on what the shed looks like?

Right now my head hurts in more ways than I thought were possible. Mare still hasn't foaled, of course.

Let's review:

You have NO BUSINESS breeding.

You DO NOT have appropriate facilities for a mare and foal!

You DO NOT have the knowledge to foal out this mare yourself!

You bred a SCID carrier!

Your mare is TOO DAMN THIN. I don't care what your yes-people on HorseDopia say, that mare is underweight!

You are creating a (if you're lucky) tobiano half-Arab. Arab people, exactly what is the market out there for a half-paint, half-Arab that MIGHT have spots? Out of this mediocre mare? Care to elaborate?

While we're at it, I have to share her wisdom on shoeing: "On my 'in training' horses I shoe front only unless there is a call for back ones. I do front only for the trainers because the front is where they hold most of the weight."

And on yet another thread: "I am sure I am just being overly paranoid but... the past few days I have been having the feeling like something isn't right with my pg mare. I cannot find anything obvious wrong but my gut tells me something is." LIKE MAYBE THE REALIZATION THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF HER PREVIOUS FOALS DIED? Ya think THAT might give you a "bad feeling?"

(I keep trying to end this post and then I read something else she said that I have to include!) "I know she may have got a small amount of fescue about two months ago. I fed two square bales to four horses, then found out it had fescue in it and immediately switched to pure bermuda." Then we have "I tried beet pulp once and did not seem to make a difference in her and it was a hassle to get her to eat it. Which is sayin something because she eats everything in sight...doritos, fritos, sandwiches, carrots, apples, pears, cookies, ect."

Well shit I don't know why she's thin either! Those Doritos pack weight on MY ass EVERY time.

OK, I HAVE to stop reading this girl's posts. I have work to do, and every thing I read is worse than the last thing!

"I could just kick myself. I bought a mare from auction about a month ago and put her in the pasture with my bred arab (I don't have any separte holding facility). Chloe (new mare) got a snotty nose about three days after I brought her home. I assumed it was just a cold and put her on antibiotics per my vet (he did not see her in person) and the snot stopped. I went ahead and gave the antibiotics to the bred mare too cause I didn't want her catching the cold. About two weeks after that I notice hard lumps under Chloes chin. I hauled her to the vet thinkin absesed tooth. He said another round of antibiotics and then he would float her teeth. I went out two days ago and the knots have burst and left a mess under Chloes chin. I was talkin to my friend and she said it sounded a lot like strangles. My vet never even mentioned stangles. What is the possible consequences to my bred mare? I am taking both in to a different vet on Monday, it was the soonest appt they had for non emergency. I am almost in tears for putting Rain and her unborn foal in jepordy."

See, aren't you all glad we're raging bitches and people like this don't show up here?

I am gonna go get a fresh diet coke and slam my head in the refrigerator door now...

OMG I have GOT TO STOP READING THE TRAINWRECK! "I went out to feed today and my pasture is black, he burned the pasture with my horses in it. I am p.o.ed."