Thursday, January 17, 2008

Stupid is as stupid does...

For those of you who hate it when I make fun of low-IQ folks who can't master spelling and is your reward. I'm about to rip a college professor a new bodily orifice. Possibly two. (Thanks to twinkltoz on the message board for finding this classic example of doing everything wrong because you didn't bother to do your homework.)

Instructor develops 'wild' horse cross-breed

Just a few quotes about Dr. Dimwit here...

"Graber, HCC human relations and psychology instructor, raises and breeds wild horses. He has breed mustangs to quarter horses to create a breed he calls "Buckskins."

Yes. He created buckskins. Just like Al Gore invented the Internet!

"At first, he didn’t sell any of the horses he’d bred because he wanted to see what he had.“It takes two to three years to know what you got so if you sell them as a colt you might be giving away a good horse.”

1. Good breeders can look at a foal and know what they've got. You can't, because when it comes to horses, you're an ignoramus. And you'll actually know what that word means when you find this blog and start ranting back at me! Awesome. I can't wait.

2. Even though you admit you haven't the talent to "see what you've got" until the horse is two or three, I bet that didn't stop you from breeding for those three years! Nope, you kept pumping 'em out, didn't you? What if they'd all been shitters? Well, hell, it wasn't like you were going to admit to it if they were.

"Many of those interested in Graber’s horses are cowboys using them for roping horses in rodeos.“Cowboys haul their horses all over so their horses may only last three years,” he said, referring to foot problems arising from riding in horse trailers. “So they are trying to find horses that will last longer.”

WTF WTF WHAT? Foot problems from riding in horse trailers? Polo ponies get hauled to the field 3x a week and they don't have "foot problems from riding in horse trailers." I know road founder exists but it's rare. And who are these cowboys whose horses only last three years? Strange, I keep coming across roping horses who've JUST been retired at 20 or 25.

"One of the main factors in the selling of this special breed will be the unique color and markings.“My goal is to see what kinds of colors I can really come up with,” Graber said. “I’m really trying to get Buckskins with dapples.”

Because those aren't already on Dreamhorse selling for just $
1000...and $900....$900...and hey, $350!

"Every horse that he sells is only halter broke. He lets the buyer break the horse for the type of work that they want it to do.“I try not to teach them any bad habits,” Graber said. It usually takes 90 to 120 days to get a horse broke to a halter while trying to work with them everyday."

Only if you're the most incompetent moron on earth. Is this for real? Hey, Dr. Dimwit, I bet I can halter break anything on your ranch in a week. Bet you $1,000!

"Graber has kept track of a few of the horses he has sold."

How impressive. A few. What a great guy! But I guess it is hard to keep track of them after they become a steak and get exported. And at these prices for a three year old, you know that is their destiny!

"One is being used for barrel racing and another is being used for working cattle in a feedlot in western Kansas."

How convenient, he's already AT the feedlot!

"My favorite part of the breeding is due to the fact that I teach psychology and human relations; there is a lot of carry over,” Graber said."

There is indeed. You need to ask yourself what kind of sick ego trip you're fulfilling by creating mixed breed fuglies in an oversaturated market and throwing them out to face their destiny with no training. Physician, heal thyself!

"When raising horses, a popular goal is to have a gentle horse that lets you enter his three feet of space.“You know if you’re doing it right if a horse walks over and lays his nose on your shoulder,” Graber said."

A popular goal? OK the kid who wrote this clearly wasn't a horseperson. But seriously, who among us can't get within 3 feet of their horse? That's like saying my goal today is breathing. Well, shazam, I reached it! I think I'm going to blow off work and go out for margaritas now to reward myself! (That does sound good...)

Seriously,'re a college professor. Did it never occur to you to find out what was marketable or educate yourself about what happens to mixed breed, untrained fuglies before you started blithely creating new life? At least those folks I make fun of who can't tell the difference between bread and bred have the stupidity defense. You don't even have that! This bothers me MUCH more.