Saturday, December 15, 2007

Color guaranteed!, not so much.

I am trying to get through some of my 324 e-mails before I have to do all the barn work and go real estate shopping (have I mentioned that Websense is the Tool of Satan lately? I'm sure I have. And yesterday the internet wouldn't work on my Treo. Sprint is also affiliated with Satan.) and, boy, there is enough here to write a book! I'm going to start with these folks. You know how those breeders in SD had come up with a few new dog breeds none of us had ever heard of? Well, these guys have come up with a registry I have never heard of. You learn something new every day...unfortunately!

Even if the world did need foals sired by your 1/2 Paint, 1/4 Saddlebred, 1/4 Arabian stallion who has never accomplished a damn thing except impregnating mares in his whole life, it still would not need foals out of this hammerheaded, ewe necked NSH mare.

Of course, the stallion is "homozygous" and 100% color guaranteed! Clearly these people have never been by their local low end auction to see how many tobianos the killers get.

(By the way, it is spelled Aphrodite, not Apherdite. I suppose you can argue creative license, but my money is on ignorance of classical mythology.)

You have a decent facility and I don't see anything horrifying there, but is it really necessary to market a grade tobiano with a breeding to your ain't-done-shit Paint/Saddlebred/Arab stallion, and then justify it by saying "Venus is grade and my be Registered with the American Grade Horse Registry and also the American Trail Horse Association" Um, no one cares. That's like my having a star named after me for $50. Doesn't make me famous! You also have Moses, who you brag "can be registered in both the blue eyed horse association and the grade horse association." Yeesh.

But hey, it gets better. This unfortunate looking creature is a member of the "Painted Sport Horse Registry." It bills itself proudly as "The only 100% color Registry & homozygous LISTING registry." Hell, with those strict specifications, they could do a membership drive at any kill pen in the country!

The PSHR also lists a "type" on the registration certificate. His "type" is - and I quote "PREFORMANCE." Well shit, I guess so, because it surely isn't HLATER!

The certificate goes on to say something about a DAUTHER of some other horse and notes that he has not yet been tested for the CREAMELO gene. God DAMN, if you're going to be a Crazy Color Breeder, at least learn how to spell the associated lingo!

All right, out to squeeze a week's worth of stuff I have to do when I'm not at work into one mere weekend! Hope you and your horses are having a great one.