Wednesday, October 17, 2007

There are simply no words...

Before I address our topic of today, a $58,000 sterile Gypsy Vanner stallion, I want to point out that I have purchased a small horse farm on 5 acres with a house for $67,000 and, while it was not exactly Southfork, it was a hell of a lot better use of that kind of money that this critter would be to anyone. Seriously, if you are dumb enough to fall for this and have this kind of cash to spend, come sit next to me. OK, I'm kidding, but at least I'd spend it rescuing sweet old Thoroughbred mares and that would at least be useful.

Text of the ad: "Arkan was purchased from Black Forest Shires and Gypsy Horses. Arkan is Sterile and son of Lion King. He has never settled a mare and no proof exists of his fertility. The price is negotiable and includes loss of income from 4 gypsy mares that he was unable to breed. "

Um, sir? First of all, this sounds like a you have a lawsuit with Black Forest Shires and Gypsy Horses. Why would you think you should pass that expense on to a potential buyer? Loss of use, are you on crack?

Second, did you not get the memo about how people in the horse business typically lose money? Especially when they pay too much money for a stallion without bothering to fertility test him. Not that I think the Earth needs to be populated with shaggy legged colored cobs, but if I were going to pay some ri-fucking-diculous amount of money for one, I would damn well make sure he wasn't sterile first. Did you find out if he had foals on the ground or you just merrily signed a ginormous check because he was REALLY hairy and that's just nifty?

But hey, forget trying to go after the seller (other than talking smack about them on Equinehits: memo to you, No One Cares), let's just try to get someone buy the world's most overpriced gelding.

(Has anyone here read this Cali Canberra novel "Trading Paper?" I just started it and it's a thinly disguised account of the sale of NH Love Potion in the 1980s Arabian world. Was that really the story, some dumb rich guy who got bamboozled into signing a contract for $2.4 million for a mare? I'm sure we have some Arabian insiders here, fill me in. Although really that should be another post because I heard how that mare ended up and it pisses me off big-time. I met that mare, by the way. She licked my hand when I was 15. Your trivia for the day.)