Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Obese Cob at Stud: We take Credit Cards!

This started out as another color breed feature, on chocolate palominos, but when I found this farm's web site, I was left gaping in horror.

Folks, nothing should be this fat. Nothing. This is the equine version of a resident of the "Brookhaven Obesity Clinic." If this critter isn't foundered yet, it is a miracle. To me, the way this stallion is being maintained is every bit as negligent as that mother who let her 10 year old girl reach 600 lbs and the kid then died (remember that one?). This isn't pretty. This is gross.

You people who own this horse should be ashamed of yourselves. NOT HEALTHY!

I sent this to a friend and her first comment was "is he pregnant?" Pregnancy is probably the only thing that would explain this belly, though even a full term mare shouldn't have a butt like that. Who knows what the feet look like, since we can't see them under all the hair.

They brag that he is "super, super gentle." Of course he is. He's morbidly obese and he can't see an inch in front of his nose! I'd be gentle too.

Seriously, WTF is this animal supposed to be good for? Maybe they can spray the feathers and the mane with Lemon Pledge and use him to dust the barn!

But hey, if a disgustingly obese equine with more hair than a 1980's rock star is what you crave, never fear - you can for sure afford it! They take credit cards! No money down! They give discounts to "non-feathered" mares! You don't need any money, just come and breed or buy! We won't worry about how you are going to take care of the resulting foal or pay vet bills. Just come on down and get a brand spanking new Hairy Obese Cob of your very own!

Send y'alls friends and neighbors down too and we'll pay you a $50 referral fee for every breeding they buy! The more the merrier, 'cause you know the embryo transfer foals out of that chocolate behemoth are just $12,000! Ye gods, and some of us go to work every day... *insert massive eye rolling*

One final comment...it's hard to see but is that the kind of fence I think it is behind the baby? If so, there ya go. $12,000 baby in front of horse-eating fence. Only in Missouri...

By the way, if you're going to photoshop your pictures, learn how to do it so it doesn't look so fake.

OK, getting back on what I meant my topic to be, here's a nice chocolate palomino stallion. I know the halter horses aren't everybody's cup of tea, so here's something different and equally excellent as the last golden palomino stud I posted. This AQHA stallion was bred to barrel race, and that is indeed what he is doing at the moment. Again, we see the elements of an athlete here - a compact build, a perfectly sloped shoulder, a powerful hip, correct legs and nicely sloped pasterns. He isn't as highly muscled as the halter type, and he doesn't have as cute of a head, but he is still an excellent example of a Quarter Horse stallion.

He'd be just as excellent if he were plain bay - the fancy color is as it should be - an extra bonus!