You say it best when you say nothing at all!

An elderly horse at the barn where one of my friends boards became suddenly ill and showed severe neurological symptoms the other day. The horse was basically lurching around the stall and repeatedly falling. The vet came out and quickly determined it was time for the old horse to say goodbye. Unfortunately it took several hours to convince the horse's owner of this fact, while the horse struggled and suffered.

But what I want to share is my friend's account of what transpired with the rest of the boarders while this was happening. You know how I keep saying Americans are all psychotically death-phobic? And that is why so many horses go to slaughter - because we are a nation of spineless ninnies who cannot watch while the vet puts a horse to sleep and therefore we (not us, you know what I mean) prefer to simply send it to the auction where it will - lalala, sunshine and butterflies! - find a "good home?" Well, here you go. My friend's comments are in blue.

Here are some of the asinine statements I heard…I kept my mouth shut, but this is how I felt.

"Wait for the blood work to come back before you make any decisions” Okay dumbass…..it’s 8:30 at night, the lab has already picked up today’s samples. If we’re lucky we MAY get results two days from now.

“She looks tired, maybe she just needs a nap” The horse is in complete neurological failure….she can’t stand….look, I tap her eyes, no reflex…the Vet whacked her hard in the middle of her forehead and she never flinched. She’s not tired….trust me….

“She stretched out funny, I think she’s colicking” She’s stretched out because she can’t stand, if I wasn’t holding her head in her halter with the lead rope stretched over a solid object, she would fall down.

“I think she should go to the horse hospital” Okay, where were you the rocket scientist three hours ago, she can’t stand in her stall, what makes you think she can stand for the hour if there is absolutely no traffic in a trailer to get to the horse hospital?

“I think if you just hand walk her, she’ll get her balance back” Uh okay, does anyone want to volunteer??? I sure as hell want this horse to get better, but I certainly don’t want to pick up a large horse off your sorry ass.

“I think she’s just dehydrated, she must have had heat stroke, I think her halter is on too tight” The vet and I just stared at each other…..speechless…….

“Huh, you can’t save her, do you have to put her to sleep? Won’t she just go on her own?” The vet and I just stared at each other…..speechless…….

“Can’t you give her into the morning to see if she snaps out of it.?” This is where the Vet drew the line in the sand. She said that she needed round the clock care ALL night. Just one person couldn’t do it alone that everyone there would need to be there, the horse was too dangerous to herself and everyone around her. That person quickly disappeared about 9:00 pm.

And the winner……….After the horse had been deceased for about an hour, we were waiting for the “pick up” and someone walked up and asked what was wrong with the horse in the front stall. It wasn’t moving…was it sick? (She had a blanket covering her face, she was lying on the floor half out of her stall half in the breezeway, and there was blood on the ground)

FHOTD in: OMG! It is not a reality show! If another boarder's horse is sick or dying, and you are going to do anything other than merely offer comfort to the grieving owner, JUST GO HOME! The vet is not a meanie for thinking that a completely unresponsive horse that can't stand on its feet should go to the big pasture in the sky.

Update on Capone - He's Still Safe!

Still safe from the freak-a-zoid!

Let's hope she prevails in court and he stays safe in Canada.

Previous links here and here.

You may have bought a horse from a BYB if...

...it gets delivered in a minivan!

People are just insane.

Seattle Area Folks: Volunteers Needed!

Cowgirl Spirit Rescue Drill Team, which I've talked about here before, is having a fundraiser car wash this Saturday at the Grange in Issaquah, 145 NE Gilman Blvd, between 10 AM and 3 PM. All proceeds benefit the rescue, which takes slaughter-bound and otherwise endangered horses, rehabs, trains them and competes with them in drill team competitions before adopting them out.

First of all, they need volunteers to help! If you're not busy this Saturday and would like to help a great rescue, please e-mail Susan.

Secondly, if your car is filthy (I know mine is), stop by the Grange and get it washed while you do your shopping for horse supplies!

Thanks in advance! The last car wash brought in $800 for CSRDT and we're hoping to top that figure this time.

FHOTD: The Index (May - August 2007)

I haven't done this in a long time, but I know it's helpful and particularly to you noobs who e-mail me to beg that I address X subject, which I know I addressed a year ago. :-) So here you go - I've started the FHOTD index of posts, sorted by subject matter! I'll continue this at a later date and hopefully we'll get the whole thing done at some point.

Auction Reports

Florida, August 2007

Arkansas, August 2007

August 2007, I didn't write down where it was from

Bad Parents du Jour

Let's sit on the ground with our Gypsy Vanner!

It's a stallion, not a set of monkey bars!

It's a baby...on a horse?

BREED SPECIFIC

Appaloosas

WTF

Good mare, bad mare!

The Idaho Train Wreck, Part One

Foundation but not fugly!

Arabians

Good mare, bad mare!

Great Big Hairy Feathered Beasts

Friesian Crosses

Baby Feathered Beast

And you can buy 3/4ths of it unborn

Minis - Ya know, it's almost tooooo easy

Angry Mini Breeder on the Loose!

What, you mean over a third of the foals dying isn't normal?

Angry Mini on the Loose!

Mustang Breeders

Breeding mosquitoes...er mustangs

We need these why?

Come and Get Your Free Mustangs!

Quarter Horses

Fugly Foundation Horses and People Who Can't Ride Equitation

Silly Bullshit Made-Up Breeds

German Riding Pony?

Spanish Jennet Tigers and Lions and Bears, oh my!

You have GOT to be kidding...

The American Warmblood Society!

Shetland Ponies

The good and the blech

Thoroughbreds

Good mare, bad mare!

Not everything is Secretariat

Conformation

Conformation v. Condition

Back issues

What $1000 Will Buy You - Good and Bad

What $10,000 Will Buy You - Good and Bad

Conformational Horrors I Have Owned

Pigeon Toes

Pics of my own fuglies!

Conformation 101

Toeing Out!

Comparison: Two Thoroughbred Mares


Cringeworthy Craigslist

Lame f'ed up grade - would make a good broodmare!

It's lame and f'ed up so BREED IT BREED IT BREED IT!

Take her or I throw her to the tigers!

Yep, another Kevin Federline of the horse world!

Free old horse for pet or meat

Feed Your Damn Horses!

Starving Akhal-Teke

Starving Horses in Malaysia

Halter Horses Gone Bad

It's an okapi!

Surprised it can walk around its stall with those legs

Hay, Hay, Hay!

How to find hay

Health and Genetic Defects

DSLD

HYPP - Good filly, time bomb filly

Morons Who Breed Their 2 Year Old Fillies

HERDA

HYPP - The Video!

Fat horse, skinny horse, just-right horse!

Highly Questionable Rescues

Making more rescues, are we?

What Makes a Real Rescue


Illiterate people making crappy horses

Hooked on Phonics!

Just, WTF?

Buy a lot and get a horse FREE!

My horse is worth WHAT?

Horse Porn on Youtube

Get off your dead ass and fix your fence!

KOLOR KOLOR KOLOR

Spotted fuglies and a bad parent du jour

Obese Cob at Stud (chocolate palominos)

Palominos, the good and the bad!

Sabino Thoroughbreds

The Dr. Seuss post (pictures are missing, don't know why)

Hideozygous Perlino!

The Spotted Snow Yak - I know you guys loooove her!

Might be the fugliest Paint ever on this blog

Fugly Cremello Sport Horses R Us!

Good Paint, Bad Paint, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT Paint

Oooooogly Headed Cremello Stallion

Hideous Sport Horses of Color

Angry e-mail from Krazy Kolored Sport Horse Breeder!

I Make Warm-Bloods (she really was one of the FUNNIEST ever!)

Cremellos, the good and the bad!


Mares that Should be Riding Horses ONLY

First post ever!

Fugly momma, fugly baby

Wry nose, fugly broodmare

Producing more grade fuglies than McDonalds has customers

Blind DSLD draft cross mare staked out in field, pregnant

Miscellaneous Stuff and Discussions

Reason v. Emotion - or how to love your horse and admit it's fugly

The copyright question

Lots of horses, not lots of trainers

Person pretending to be me - I'm famous, I have imitators! LOL!

Where are all the horse trainers?

Hillbilly Farms - I love these guys!

Straight from the horse killer's mouth

The FHOTD FAQ

Other People's Snarky Shit

A vet's observations on bad breeding!

Reader comments on FHOTD

Really Skeery Riding

Skeery jumping on horse dealer's site

Horses who wish to upgrade their riders

Really Skeery Training

How Not to Raise an Orphaned Foal

Free jumping babies - um, not a good idea

Wacky Natural Horsemanship (includes foal jumping!)

Stallions that Should be Geldings

Lop off their balls already!

Back at the knees and the Dun Yak

But the VET says he's a stallion prospect!

Stunted fugly stock horse

Theatrical Asshattery

It's a horse, not a lawn chair!

Who Bred This?

Thank God they're riding horses!

Hideous Young Stock

Barn blind as a bat!

Missing Parts

Got a million, dumpin' em cheap!

Scary crooked legged rescued filly

Can I get you some Imodium for your verbal diarrhea?

Not only does she have a three year old solid colored Appaloosa stallion for sale for $1000...but she can't stop talking about him...and how her three year old child rides him...and how a cribber ruined her stalls...and how she bred him to her mustang...and how she can't afford car insurance. You know, sometimes I have to do a little research on the message boards and stuff to find out the extent of a BYB's asshattery. Thanks, Monica, for saving me all kinds of time this morning by just throwing it all out there!

P.S. So not stallion quality. So not. Where's his butt?

My comments in blue, as always!

"He was by the corral panel and I decided to sit on his back and he did nothing absolutely nothing not a flinch or anything just sniffed my foot so I am going to finish off his training in the evenings when my son is busy playing with the neighbors boys in their yard since my mom doesn't have a bunch of kids runnng around lately as they stay with their parents or other relatives more now. Thanks, Monica. We were all concerned about your child care plans and are so happy you chose to include all the details in your horses-for-sale ad. (Hey, pedophiles? The kids will be playing in Monica's neighbor's yard tonight!) Now I am wondering why the bunch of kids would not normally stay with their parents...are the parents all meth heads? What precisely is the problem here? I am hoping once I saddled Twister up tomorrow evening that he won't mind me in the saddle since I tried last year to get on in the saddle and he did not like it cause he doesn't like the stirrups banging against his sides unless he is being lunged or lead around. Dying to know what happened last year. Do you have video? By the way, a horse who does not like the stirrups banging against his sides will be the most upset when he is being longed and they are flying free, not when he is being ridden and the rider's leg/foot are stabilizing the stirrup. My dad has a friend who could finish his training for me but I would have to get him gelded and I don't want to geld twister especially with how sweet and gentle he is. Because knocking his nuts off would be SO MEAN! Gosh, he would never forgive you if you did that, Monica. He would think you were punishing him for being so sweet and gentle! Family Bred and raised by me. Had him every since he was foaled. Dam is a registered Bay roan appaloosa mare that I trained myself. Everyone who see's him thinks he is a gelding. They're not smart enough to know what testicles look like either, huh? My 3 yr old son can play around him and ride on him with someone leading him and tell twister what to do and lead him around. Mother of the year! I have a quiet three year old stallion myself and it would be a cold day in hell when I let a child lead him anywhere. You have got to have an IQ smaller than your shoe size if you think a toddler should be leading a stallion. But hey, I know someone who got a call recently from a woman who wanted a stallion that her 5 and 6 year old could go out in the pasture and hug the legs on. Maybe we can send that buyer to you and then call CPS on both of you and save them some gas money! Doesn't know yet that he is a full stud. Honey, a three year old stallion is like a 14 year old boy. He has one thing on his mind. He may be good-tempered enough not to be screaming at mares and dragging you around, but he's not standing there in the corner whacking his willy against his stomach because it's hot and needs some air. Has had a bridle and saddle on him and kids on his back. I am endlessly amazed at the number of people who think it's a good idea to throw their toddler up on an unbroke horse to see what will happen. See, before I got my tubes tied, people told me I should have kids and that no matter how much I disliked them, it's different when they're your own. Based upon the things I read on the Internet, many parents want them to shut up and stop moving every bit as much as I would! Will be easy to finish your way. He Is The Quietest Stud In My Area Suitable For Even A Beginner Horseperson Could Finish His Training With Barely Any Help. AWESOME! Yes, recommend that a beginner try to train your three year old stallion. That's a GREAT idea! Take Him Out Alone Or With Others He Doesn't Care. Only had to get his feet trimmed once in his whole life so far cause everytime the farrier came he said the feet looked great. WHONK WHONK WHONK. (That was the sound of my head hitting the desk repeatedly.) He is my spoiled brat so I want the best home for him and would like updates or to visit him. Oh yeah. Because if your low quality three year old solid Appy stallion isn't enough of an inducement, visits from you where you blather about all the details of your financial troubles and tales of your poor parenting will definitely close the deal. Sign me up! Will probably throw color as he has roans and other light colored horses in his pedigree. Will mature about 15HH. He is three years old. How the hell tall is he now? $50 says he's a hony for life. Would like to see him shown in WP. He will make the perfect beginners horse once his training is finished. He has been lunged and free lunged. 100% Safe and Sound. Used to traffic, kids, dogs, atvs, chainsaws, will walk over tarps and under the arbor. Loves his neck scratched and apples and carrots. Easy keeper. Loads like a perfect angel every time never had any problems with him ever. Used to minatures and loves to play. Used to all day turn out and only been stalled a few times as a yearling before our cribber ruined the stalls. See below for ad on cribber! He is a solid bay with one sock and a small white spot on his front leg (hard to see unless you just bathed him) and a star and snip. If not sold I will keep him and geld him this fall and finish his training. Related to The Grand Finale, Skip A Charge, Skipaway Sue, also was related to my moms reg aqha gelding Sunsational Music who passed away due to colic so which means Twister is also distantly related to some Doc Bar bloodlines. Of course you can't verify any of this because HE'S NOT REGISTERED. You deliberately bred a grade horse and kept him a stallion. You suck. if I didn't have to downsize right now I would keep him a stud and finish off his training with a friend of mines help and show and trail ride him. Yeah, you sound like a serious show rider. Hey, I could be wrong, maybe you and old Twister are going to clean up later this summer in the egg-and-spoon race. My mustang mare Kit is possibly bred to him for a 09 foal which if Kit is in foal to him for next year I will be keeping her until the foal is weaned and keep the foal and do its training myself like I trained and worked with Twister. TWISTER IS A MUST SEE AND WORK WITH HIM A LITTLE FOR YOURSELF CAUSE THERE ISN;T ANOTHER 3YR OLD STUD THATS AS QUIET OR AS FRIENDLY WITH NO BAD MANNERS OR HABITS YOU COULD EVER FIND. I can find one by walking out to my barn, and mine is good looking. 'Course, I didn't buy him for $1000, either. If you are in the breeding business and want to make good quiet foals he will be your stud for life cause as easy as his dam and he is to work with then his foals should be born friendly and family safe. I could have his dam follow me down the road with nothing on her and she would follow my outstretched hand anywhere I went. There are horses just like this on their way to Mexico in double-deckers right now. How can you possibly be so ignorant that you don't know this? UPDATE: Twister is officially a daddy now since the 4th of July. Bay Filly w/star (other markings will show after she sheds out of her baby fur) (yep, just you wait til she sheds out, she'll shed out with spots all over, REALLY. It's like how sorrel colts turn into palominos if you just wait long enough - there are some folks on HorseTopia who'll argue that all day). Dam Nila (moms mare) is a black/brown mare and filly looks almost like Twister when he was born so Twister should throw some color if bred to mares who throw color or will throw color. Great, so he's got at least one grade shitter foal on the ground and another on the way already. Great. Rode a horse on July 13th, 2008 and fell in love with him so I am going to ask the woman who has the gelding to find me one just about like that horse since he is already almost sold to someone else soon and costs $1,200 to find me a gelding that is well trained and has a perfect jog that I do not bounce around and sit perfectly on and click with that I will keep forever. 'Cause even though I IZ A HORS TRAYNER, I can't sit a goddamn trot. Mom wants me to downsize and I need to so I can afford car insurance and gas money along with my sons mini's and one horse for me and save up money for a place of my own someday where I can afford to keep more then one horse for myself. I just want to send this sentence to Dave Ramsey and see if his head explodes. Monica, you seem to be an adult with a child of your own. Why does your mom still need to tell you that you need to have fewer horses so you can afford car insurance and gas money? Hoping To Ride Twister On Short Trail Ride Behind My House This Week (July13- July 19th) To How Well He Does And Be Sure Of How He Will Do On The Trails Since He Doesn't Spook At Anything At Home And Trusts Me He Should Do Good FOr Me On The Trails. NO TRADES Got On Him 7/14/2008 Did Good Learning Side Passes, Back up, And Turning. Does Nothing Wrong At All. Dis- Mounted and Mounted Him From Both Sides And He StoodStill Perfectly" Monica, why not just start a blog? You clearly looooove to share everything with the world, and I'm thinking it might be pretty good entertainment. Make sure to include all the details of your personal life. I'm seeing reality show potential here!

~~~~~~

Yup. Another grade fugly making more grade fuglies. Monica will never get a clue...Oh, and it's not over. Excerpts from some of her other ads:

"Would like to sell her to good show home soon as me and my parents have been taking my son back and forth to Hershey since he got hurt May 13th and has been going back and forth to dr appointments (one was for skin graft surgery) and money is really tight for bills, food, and gas right now."

Jeeeezus, Monica, WTF happened to that poor kid? And BTW there aren't a lot of good show homes for your $500 mustang.

Gypsy is cute. The hell if I can figure out what is actually wrong with her from this ad, but she sounds worth upgrading.

Hey look, it's the horse who ate her barn! Please note the ad content here: He was donated to a therapeutic riding place...and he wound up with Mindless Monica. That's why I tell you folks to be REALLY CAREFUL about that sort of thing! Not all of these places keep them. Get a contract, READ the contract, do follow up visits!

"Snickers front hooves were toed out but farrier said with the right care they will look good as new and Snickers will not have any soundness issues at all." She's got the magikal farrier who can correct conformation in a ten year old horse. I'm soooo impressed.

Fugly mini stallion, "Price Is Firm so my son can afford the power wheels four wheeler he wants."

Mitzie kicked my dog to Kingdom Come! "Mitzie isnt used to dogs following her when she has a kid being led around on her back and I just do not have the time to work with her. If trading mini for mini if its broke to ride or drive is a plus or just to ride. My 3yr old son helps me care for the mini's so if trading the mini mare will be very spoiled but cannot come into the house since his grandparents forebode it when they put in new flooring lol"

But I'm so busy with my part-time job that I just can't train all of these horses! "I need the pasture space and since i keep my horses at my parents place they had said i need to get her a new good home asap as i have a part time job and too many horses and ponies to work with and have the time to work with Jackie after she finishes her weight gain so i must downsize." FHOTD in: My heart just bleeds, you lazy ass sow.

GET A REAL JOB!

STOP BUYING HORSES!

STOP BREEDING HORSES!

STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!

If you can't spell broodmare...

It's probably a sign you aren't qualified to breed horses. Today I decided to google the common misspellings of BROODmare to see what I could find, and boy, I found some doozies!

Here's a winner. Had no idea how to tell when the mare was going to foal, didn't have the common sense to board her at a facility that did, didn't pay attention, foal was born, rolled under fencing, ran into a cactus and turned himself into a foal shaped pincushion. Was found desperately trying to nurse from a trash can since he couldn't rejoin his mother. Dipshit Dora here writes about it all the web, oblivious to how close she came to having a dead foal and/or an injured mare.

And yeah, here we go, here's another byb'er of big horses, mini horses and puppies galore! I guess I should be happy they're showing at all, but jeez, it's 4-H. Not exactly a way to judge whether something is breeding quality. They have no eye. None at all, as shown by this baby yak they describe as "stunning." Um, well, I am kind of stunned...And why is there a blank where the sire should be? Are they not sure who he is?

Their stallion (I guess they gelded it now) is actually not that bad of a horse but the $25-at-the-auction totally out of style halter does him no favors. Sheesh people, at least borrow something good from a friend to take the picture. And pull his damn mane. He's not a reiner.

But hey, if you're not into horses, they also appear to have 15+ puppies for sale, including some so tiny you can "stick them in your pocket and GO!" Yay. I loooove you "teacup" breeders. You're my favorite. Of course I found them through an ad for a mare who MAY be in foal to their stallion. God forbid we call a vet and actually find out.

Project or Broadmare: Clover needs someone who has plenty of time to ride, that's what she needs. Translation: Clover is a batshit idiot, and maybe you can wear her ass out but I'm tired of trying, so gimme three grand and get this POS off my property!

All she's been used for is to pet on and breedmare. Of course she's grade, but hey, she's got blue eyes so I guess you can register her with the Blue Eyed Horse Association! I actually really like the front end on this mare...if we could just detach it and put it on another horse's back end!

Ad text: "Quarter horse cross. This is a very sweet laid back mare. Solid white with two blue eyes. She leads. Has been loaded in a trailer. Picks her feet up. Loves to be brushed and scratched. Easy keeper. She has only had ground work done with her and never been rode. All she has been used for is to pet on and breedmare. She also throws beautiful paint babies. She is not UTD on shots if interested you can have this done at your cost due to the price of her being so cheap. If you are interested please email June @ junamavin@aol.com or call me (205)648-5640 please leave a message because I do not have caller ID."

I'm also wondering, given that she's only five years old, how many "beautiful paint babies" she's been asked to pop out! I am pleased to see that someone is considering upgrading her to a riding home. Hope it all works out!