It's a little hard to judge this stallion based upon the picture below. Suffice it to say that I sure hope he is doing some weird Parelli-esque maneuver and has his two hind feet on a tree stump. That's quite a "nest" he's got going there and a stunningly weak loin attachment. But the best part is reading his owner's enthusiastic write-up, copied below. My comments are in blue. *sigh* 
this picture does not do him justis (I don't know, it just is!) he is bigger than that (than the picture? Well damn I sure hope so. Otherwise call the Guiness Book!) and has a big heart girth too he is a great stallion and has great babyes (say what?) now taking booking for 2008 now thanks .his stud fee for 2008 will be $300. 00 dollar (*sings* I'm down to my last dollar...) and the booking fee will be $50.00 dollar .he is 18% three bars (and you got the other parts from where? FrankenHorse!), 9% depth charge and the pic does not do him justes (wow, two different misspellings of the same simple word in one run-on paragraph - now that is talent.) he has got so mouch biger seen than (WHAT?) then we have had a great responce this year thanks the pic was toke (Yes, that's a word you are familiar with, I am sure!) win he was a 2 year old stallion (thanks, but not buying it). we was running him he has got biger & wider sent thin (WTF?) I will try to get a beeter pic of him (oh shit, horse, run for your life, she's got the horse beeter out!) . this great stallion is easy to handle has run barrels I can breed with him and teez with him and is stall eazy to handel. his foals speek for there self thay all handel will (it's great that they're fans of classical music, who would have thought it, living behind your trailer?) and are easy to handel he pass his good mind and easy to lurn (shame you can't lurn as well as he can) on to foal. has a palomino jean (oh, awesome. Where can I buy me a pair of those? Can I get some grulla jeans too? That would rock.) that pop up some.his palomino foal was sleeping win I toke this pic (it was also invisible, shazam!). we will be shipping semen in 2008 (um does that mean you drive to the post office and are on the highways unsupervised? LOOK OUT TENNESSEE!) we are taking booking now. we have a live foal guantee to. we have $5.00 per dry mares and $10.00 per wet mares and we have stalls or paster (in case they feel the need for spiritual guidance) for mares and foals.if you push the pic of his dad he lookes just like him but just a lighter color. (deleted pedigree stuff) thanks for looking at the add and thanks for all the emails on this stallion (I can only imagine the e-mails on this stallion) thanks for all the great mares that was breed (my head hurts) this year thanks you all so much for beliving in us and these stallions THANKS (if you believe in her stallions, I'd like to offer you an amazing business deal as I have just won the lottery in Afghameshikstan and need a contact in the U.S. to handle the funds, for a generous fee, of course!)
And what was I just talking about yesterday...look, it's a baby behind three strands of barbed wire.
Barbed wire is not horse fencing. It's NOT. I will not gross out everybody by linking these pictures here. I'll just give you the links if you want to click on them, below. BUY DECENT FENCE FOR YOUR HORSES, DAMMIT. If you already have the T-posts in, it costs very little to run hot wire. But you might have to drag your butt outside and do it. I know, I just expect so much of you poor, put-upon backyard breeders...
Horses + Barbed Wire = BAD
http://www.horseproblems.com.au/Photo's/Veterinary%20Photos/digger19July.jpg
http://www.horseproblems.com.au/Photo's/Veterinary%20Photos/Barbed%20wire%20injury.JPG
http://www.ncerl.com/images/barbedwire.jpg
http://www.emuszine.com/Health%20Articles/horse_accident.htm
These folks get two thumbs up from me because they have the guts to discuss the dangers of keeping horses in barbed wire on their web site (bet that pisses off the neighbors), as well as having a really great philosphy in general about how horses should live to stay healthy. http://mckuster-ranch.com/home.html
144 comments:
That is not a real ad is it???
You have to be kidding me!!!!!
I have no words for this one.
As for the barb wire I have seen to many good horses hurt and killed by that crap!!! Why, why , why do people still use it?????
wow, the mckusker place looks heavenly. I wish our pastures were irrigated!
I swear I have seen that first picture somewhere before, and it's driving me nuts- we sure this isn't some SIM game kid?
LOL that is hilarious!! love this blog by the way! came across it a week back..very educational and amusing to look at..i had to create an account to see this..
theres actually a problem with that stallion's photo...i don't think he's butt high..you can see how the photo is crooked..see the background? and at the very top you can see the white were it was cut off.
these IDIOTS can't even take a correct and straight photo of their stud XD
those people need to go back to elemtary school or something XD
OMG FHD! You are two funnie. I haf teerz uv lafter jist a-runnin duwn my fase.
English must be her second language. If so, my advice is find a friend who can write your ad. And a friend to take a picture. Better still call a vet to geld that horse and you won't need the first two friends.
As for the barbed wire, the folks who use it must go to bed at night singing "I like proud flesh and I can not lie." (Sung to the tune of Sherk, Donkey, "I like big butts and I can not lie".) Sorry for my crazy moment here but I feel that barbed wire should be banned from the planet. I wouldn't fence a rock in with the stuff, because years later it will come back to haunt you when your going through the trails and you horse gets caught up in it. The stuff lasts forever. My two cents, thanks for the opportunity.
I visit this site for the posts regarding conformation. What does "nest" mean? I missed that one. Thanks.
The Abaco Barb people are looking for some help in regards to barbed wire. It seems that the government is wanting to switch the fencing type from electric to barbed wire without knowing the ramifications.
BTW - I know that many of you will say that the Abaco Barb is another scrubby mustangish horse that is not worth a crap. I think that these horses deserve to be treated as well as possible and should be preserved.
Okay, I'll make a confession. My mare's pasture has barbed wire fencing. BUT it also has a hot wire running around the whole perimeter. On one side there is a 600-acre ranch full of cows. Horses on the other three sides. I'd prefer the fence to be that wonderful expensive white vinyl stuff, but the land isn't mine (she's being boarded with a friend) and it's... well... expensive.
bonnie - nest refers to the neck and chest being the same width - you can't tell where one ends and the other begins, hence the words are combined - nest.
Barbed wire is not always bad. I have had horses for over 12 years in barbed wire and only one minor cut from it. If you have ample room for how ever many animals you have it's fine (ex. I have 10 acres with 3 horses, no babies). Now, if you have 10 horses on 1-2 acres.....your asking for it.
I must disagree with the above posts. Barbed wire is an accident waiting to happen. I have about 6 acres of pasture, old farm pasture and I am still finding page wire buried or imbedded in the bordering trees. If something is out there that has the potential to hurt them, I guarantee they will find it. You never know when something will spook them and their flight instinct takes over. My mare has mutilated both back pasterns on two separate occasions on just smooth page wire. None of that old style fencing is safe.
Damn, barbed wire for fencing... that's almost as dangrous as ridding in a car! And I bet these people do that to. Dumbasses, I guess if they will put their family in that kind of danger what's the big deal with putting their horses well being at risk?
See this is what happens when you let a 3 yr old write your ads. Just a real edumakated bunch aint they LOL It is either that or the horse wrote it himself in which case he is a smart sucker.
Did you see their other stallion ad:
"now taking booking for 2008 breeding season stud $300.00 the secondary is of has mom (removed) she is 26 year oldthis stallion can run set down and turn on his hind Quarteres look at one pearson tohandel then at a time lurn fast and dont forget thing a lot of personalet and lookes to boot I have got to get a beeter pic of him his coat singes in the sun and his white marking make him stand out to he is just dark in the stall that is the only pic I have right now on his linebreeding chart his a 10% we are only going to take 20 out side mares to breed to him has a great mind and strong legs has a big wide blaze on his face and 3 sockes one on the front leg and bouth hind legs "
And who's AL and why do they keep thanking him??
This can't be a real ad, no one can misspell that many words and be serious can they? That hurt my brain just to read it. What kind of business person(breeding is a business when done right) would do that, OMGosh, if you can't spell at least use a spell checker? That ad was so aweful it almost leads me to believe it was written by someone hearing impaired, which is not a problem they do write things differently hearing people. That is amazing, just amazing.
By referring to Three Bars, are they trying to pass this off as a QH? HOLY smokes, it just can't be, and WHO would breed to that horse? I guess it's all relative, but WOW it just blows my mind.
Jesus tittyfucking Christ on a bicycle, my eyes bled just reading that absolutely mentally-challenged, drooling, breeder-fied marglfargscurbydurnebdrobfarblinggook.
See? I hope they're happy- My head was SO scrambled and I was SO angry at them for just being ALIVE and STUPID and capable of reproduction that I had to go and make UP a word JUST FOR them.
I hope someone shoots them in the face, rips open their thoracic cavity with a hoofpick, extracts their entrails, hitches them to that ugly downhill bastardmonger stallion, and chases him into downtown Atlanta traffic.
I don't know which I'm more upset about- the ugly horse with nuts or the stupid rednecks that our government allows rights.
Ok- now THAT is an "anger management special rant" (and still as full of acidic, ribald, repugnant, too-off-to-be-funny sarcasm as I can muster). How DARE they mis-spell so MANY things?
I think I'm going to be sick.
To those who say "we've had barbed wire on my family farm for 40 years and nobody has EVER gotten hurt," I say that the crocodile hunter guy's dumb luck lasted for 44 years, too.
Cozying up to poisonous sea creatures or putting horses out next to fence that is like a thousand little piranha teeth...not smart in either case.
PLEASE tell me that's a hoax. Please, please tell me there aren't humans out there, reproducing humans, capable of that degree of profoundly disturbing ignorance???
I think I found more of their ads on Dreamhorse, one is 890965. It's no hoax, WTF, and you have me laughing so hard I can't see through the tears in my eyes! LMAO!
As if you're brain doesn't already hurt, read this one, same farm, different stallion:
now taking booking for 2008 now thanks. stud fee is $300.00booking fee$50.00on the linebreeding stats he is a 4% this stallion heart his ankel in training but had a good cutting creer started now standes at stud to watch all of his offspringto fines the job he started he cud stop and trun so fast it was not funny we breeded him we have only 10 open spotes for out side mares he goes fast he has color foales and they sale apha mares welcome he is listed with them to thanks for making 2007 breeding season so great thank to all the onwer we breed there mares thanks
And this picture, doesn't it scream blind horse?
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v236/Ladybrinx/?action=view¤t=wirehazard.jpg
I heart my ankel onse tu, I cud stop and trun a lot beeter afore that.
My aching BRAIN!
wtf - I'm not sure I should be laughing but I am. Thanks for the chuckle.
I laughed my butt off... and even if you tilt your laptop to make the fence horizontal and the legs vertical, he's still way downhill.
But surely you missed the absolutely BEST part of the ad...!"...I can breed with him and teez with him and is stall eazy to handel."
Perverts! LOL
They're immigrants. English isn't their indigenous language. Or maybe they're on a rehab farm, like they always have on the Hallmark channel, where the disturbed simpletons are forced to work with broken-down CW Anderson horses and come back heartwarmingly together and can read at the end. Right? *panic*.. RIGHT?
I just laughed SO much. LOL. However, these problems could all be averted if people just used firefox. Then again, they would have to be smart enough to download ff...
My Gods, they actually are from Tennessee. Ugh, the stereotypes, the bigotry... the... fact behind much of it... that's it- I'm going to do something literate, artistic, and productive tonight. I'm having a Heston on the beach moment.
Sorry, but the owner's last name is Bledsoe. That doesn't sound like an immigrant to me. In fact, there is actually a Bledsoe County in Tennessee!
They've been here a long time. They just ain't much for book larnin'
I am still crying!! That is SO funny! What is the website for this horse?
Also, how the heck can they figure out that he is such-&-such % Three Bars, but can't spell? I'm not buying it........
jeeplee - They don't have to "figure" blood percentages. There are pedigree software programs that do that for you.
Here's the addy to the ads:
http://www.equinenow.com/farm/four_forty_farms.htm
Party on.
Having lived in Tennessee for three years now, I can attest that these people are the exception.
...
...most here can't even understand how to use a computer. These folks are positively brilliant in comparison with some.
Whines about generalizations to commence in 3..2....1...
forthefutureofthebreed- You mean they can use that 'advanced' software? Wow, maybe they aren't so retarded after all =)
jeeplee - Well, not sure if they're using the advanced software or if they're just using allbreed, and if they're using the latter, that makes more sense. LOL. Can you imagine them adding horses to that database? Yikes!
forthefutureofthebreed- a horrific thought indeed.
Hmmmm, in reading multiple ads for their horses I find that they are very into bragging about their line breeding. Maybe this crosses over into other aspects of their life?
At leest that wood bee a explinasion for ther hi edjucacion!
jeeplee - LOL. Actually, most people into racing QHs are becoming very interested in the pedigree aspect of it, much like the TB racehorse folks who have been at it for several centuries. It's taking the cowboys awhile to catch on, though. And you have people like these geniuses thinking that more linebreeding/inbreeding = better quality. There's a little bit more to it than that. LOL. Sort of reminds me of some of the "foundation" QH breeders with their "43% Poco Bueno" stallion. Like that's a good thing?
My first Experience in TN was when I was seven- we went down "t' visit daddeh's kinfolk at the fam'ly 'uneeyun."
When I walked into the gas station, a guy with maybe four teeth in his head, more hair on his chest than his scalp (or even his nose), reached OUT and GRABBED MY ARM, said "Yer real purdy lil' thang! Yew wanna kum home wit' me?"
And then, there was an albino waving a banjo at us from an overpass...
No. Words.
I feel ACTUAL pain from reading that.
Fugly could you please leave your email address in your blog profile? I know you've posted it on here before, but I can't find it.
I've got a couple more Craigslist gems to send you.
You know- I'm not going to "let" people say I'm crazier than Foamy the Squirrell... I just watched Medicated Baby Heads again, ROFL.
Foamy
Dammit, it's contagious!
S-Q-U-I-R-R-E-L... don't I have a lesson to get to? *stalks off grumbling about faulty genes... and pinchy jeans...
I am pretty sure their Momma and daddy are brother and sister LOL
Dude.. I've had exchange students that could speak english better than that!! I mean, fresh off the plane, never spoke a word of english in their life!
Second:
"I must disagree with the above posts. Barbed wire is an accident waiting to happen."
I totally agree. Thats like saying "I've had sex for 5 years with a condom, therefore, I can't get pregnant!"
Mmm... No. lol
That stallion ad has to be a scam!! Engesh isnt me feerst talkin!! haha There are so many scams out there and that person just made WAY to many mistakes to have gone to any schooling in America!!
heres another one on here..doesn't this look like barbed wire? and its a stallion too! how stupid??
and that stallion doesn't look very good..his head and neck doesn't fit with his body..
http://www.equinenow.com/horse-ad-42653
In honor of todays fugly horse post I had to write a poem!
The horse trader spiel of Paul PonyMill
Listen here people and pay me some heed
while I try to sell you this marvelous steed
He’s not too tall, he’s not too short;
He’s built so he can do any sport
Trots like a warmblood and stops like a reiner.
He’s show ready for sure, could I say it plainer?
If you don’t believe it just look in his past,
He’s got two champions back there that sure could run fast
Naw it don’t matter that they’re from so long ago
I’m sure that by then horses had just one toe.
Now look at his head, could it be more noble?
Forget that the size of it borders on global!
This horse is much more than pretty you see,
He’s got tons of talent, a winner you’ll be!
He can move slower than glaciers in winter
Or burn down the track like a rocket-fueled sprinter
He’ll win western pleasure and pro barrel racing
You can drive him to town, either trotting or pacing!
Don’t look like a skeptic, I’m telling you true!
And if I’m a lying my toes will turn blue!
This horse here is kid safe, a pure baby sitter,
He’ll go all day at walk, this horse ain’t no quitter!
What’s that you ask? What’s wrong with his hocks?
Those lumps aren’t no trouble! ‘Sides he’s got pretty socks
Now how old is he? His papers say eight,
But I can’t say for sure since someone wrote over the date
His color is sorrel, and socks he has two,
But his papers say roan with tint that is blue.
Yes, I’m sure they belong to this wonderful horse,
They came with him last week when I bought him, of course.
So why am I selling this prize, this great find?
Because I can see that you’re loving and kind!
I want a good home for my dear furry friend
A place he can live until his earthly end
But if you don’t want him, well I’ll still make do
He’ll go to the auction and end up as glue.
Don’t cry and don’t fret, that weren’t my intent
I’m in the horse business and need every cent.
For I’m over burdened with horses and pets
And I need help supporting my animal debts
Heck no I can’t cut back nor quit breeding foals
I’ve building a program with intentions and goals
I’m all for production of color and bloodlines
Conformation comes second to these things in my mind
My motivations are unsullied and pure
And I’m a true horseman that much is sure!
I just love the critters, that’s why I have many
And they’re all for sale, so just pay me plenty
Wait now don’t go, you’re missing your chance
You can’t just depend on what you see at first glance
These blemishes, scars and oddly bent knees
add character, outline and resistance to fleas!
This horse is a credit to his owner and creed
I just wish he weren’t gelded so some mares I could breed
Imagine the foals he could put on the ground!
They’d always have value, for trade or per pound!
Don’t run for your car, you’ll be sorry one day
Where else can you get such a bargain, I say
Wait! Now here comes another, lured by my ad
I hope they’re not as picky as that last one I had!
Tracy M
http://thehorsediary.blogspot.com/
Here's an excerpt from another of their ads:
"...lurn fast and dont forget thing a lot of personalet and lookes to boot I have got to get a beeter pic of him his coat singes in the sun..."
maybe they ought not to put him out during the day if his coat singes in the sun! Could lead to instant combustion!
Just too much fodder here. I am on overload.
Tuffy - great poem!
Great poem, Tracy. Thanks for sharing it.
Some people scare me. Seriously.
As for those who use barbed wire? You all scare me, too! The first barn I worked at as a teen/preteen used barbed wire with hot wire over it (and slightly in, to encourage the horses to stay even farther away from it). They repaired it often, and it's not like it was dragging on the ground. They had been using barbed wire for over 30 years, with nothing more than minor scrapes. I went there one day when they were out, and one of the horses was missing (in this particular pasture, it was 6 horses on 42 acres - size of pasture is NOT an excuse for barbed wire!). I hopped on one of the ponies to go look for him. I found him caught in the barbed wire. When I got there, I found that he had rolled by the wire, got it caught around his leg, and from just below the hock, down - it was just bone. It had cut through the skin, tendons, ligaments, etc.
Don't make excuses, just change the fencing. You can get hot wire, or hot tape fairly cheap. You already have the posts in, get rid of the barbed wire!
And seriously, this site cracks me up. I should send you a picture of my pony - I'd have a good laugh! lol
I have heard some people swear that smooth wire (electric) will cleave the flesh off a horse's bones before you can spit out the word rattlesnake and so use barbed wire instead.
I would think a horse with a healthy respect for the electric is a much safer horse than one in a barbed wire situation... we use smooth electric here - it breaks when the horses hit it, no cleaving of the flesh here, but have very little experience with barbed wire (and no smooth wire accidents), so can't say with certainty which I "KNOW" is safer.
I just discovered your sight and I have to say -- you flippin' crack me up!!! Are people seriously that stupid, and if so why do they make no attempt to cover up their stupidity (at least do spell check)??!!
That was obviously written by a Nigerian scammer.
Clearly many farmers and people in rural America are illiterate. Without them, however, American horses may already be extinct.
Yay McKuster Ranch! They are great people :)
Love this site, it has become my new addiction! LOL
Got turned onto this blog a week or so ago and have resisted posting a comment until tonight. I have hookd ohn fonics neighbors here in central WV breeding no-name fugly horses,sigh. Good grief some of these ads are appalling! I have large standard and mammoth donkeys and wish there was a fugly donkey blog. There are plenty of backyard fugly donkey breeders too. In fact there are some pretty big name breeders producing spotted and huge Jurassic fugly donkeys for the market. Love this blog, thank you for taking the time to do it!
smoke - Nigerian scammers don't know anything about horses, let alone anything about inbreeding to Three Bars. This ad is real.
Y'know, I find the WORST breeders to be the ones that ignorantly breed stock horses. For some reason, they read those Legends books and figure they know all there is to know about the breed and just buy up junk mares and stallions and start a farm! Weee! I can think of nothing better than to spend my $1,200 tax return on than 3 mares and a stallion! Yippee!!
This ad seems to be a case in point.
People tag on some common foundation quarter horse names like Depth Charge, Three Bars, Two Eyed Jack, Poco Bueno or King... and automatically assume the horse has a good pedigree and deserves to be bred.
They don't bother to really ASSESS the conformation of the animals, especially if they are, say, buckskin or grulla or another dilute, and they don't seem to give a rats ass if they throw conformation deformities as long as they throw color and they can tag that ever-important word 'foundation' on them. They don't care to even prove them under saddle to make sure they're sound... nope, just feed em' breed 'em and lead 'em to the next guy on down the line.
Give me a break. That horse may make a nice gelding, but he definantly needs an appointment with Mr.Veterinarian sometime in the near future to rid him of those gonads. Pronto!
It's not just the stock horse breeders, although there are a ton of them out there. It's homozygous Tobiano breeders, too, but they don't even look at or breed by pedigree. If it's homozygous for Tobiano, that's good enough for them. Black and white, even better. But there are fugly horse breeders everywhere, with nearly every breed. I agree with you on the "foundation" QH breeders, though.
barrelrcnmom, you're assuming they even WENT to school. I am completely speechless. How do they know where to find their mouth to put their food in?
Paso Fino breeders (on the BYB level, at least) are just as bad. They breed and buy up a whole string of these fugly little rat-tailed horses with muley faces, and then try to sell them as Capachino's Grandson.. uh, dumbasses, they ALL are almost... But I digress... since the Paso breed is a "anybody can ride them because they're smooth and fun"... it attracts literally everyone- and since mostly everyone are morons but us who love this blog, you see what happens :-D
On the subject of these "illiterate" people...
Last year my parents moved to North Carolina, about an hour or less from the Tennessee border. You'd be amazed at how many people here are just like that, totally illiterate and leave you wondering how much inbreeding has happened in their own bloodlines. Some of them are very nice people, don't get me wrong, but let's just say that I'm eternally grateful that I didn't have to spend more than a couple months here this year, and that I'll be going back to beautiful Florida in a couple weeks.
In the county we live in, a very, very large percentage of the population never finished high school. There are people here who cannot read or write, or even speak in a way that's legible to anyone except the locals. It's saddening.
It's downright disturbing that these people are trying to pass as professional horsepeople. Or any type of professional for that matter. And even more disturbing that their horrid spelling and grammar doesn't seem to turn potential buyers away. It's not that hard to use spell check. If they can figure out how to get a picture on their computer and upload it to a website, they can figure out how to use spell check. Firefox even has a spell checker built in (thank God, otherwise I probably would've misspelled the word "illiterate". haha. Oh, the irony.)
I think there are BYB's in just about everything. The warmbloods used to be immune because they were too expensive, but then the BYB's just created their own Blue Light Special level of warmblood and created their own meaningless registries for them!
People breed a lot of crap TB's, too. I mean, if you are breeding for the track, why in the name of Barbaro do you breed a stallion who won $3250 to an unraced mare? I see people do this ALL the time. Why? Why? Why? Do you really think somehow, miraculously, the horse is going to defy his genetic heritage and be the next Smarty Jones?
"I can breed with him and teez with him"
Dear. God. (fragment sentences notwithstanding) I'm sure that even in Tennessee, bestiality is illegal.
"I have got to get a beeter pic of him his coat singes in the sun"
Damn! Get that horse out of the sun then if he's burning! He could start a forest fire. Maybe she could use the "beeter" to whip up some eggs to throw on him to put the fire out?
It hurts my brain to even quote this pathetic jumble of letters that is an imbecile's attempt at English. You know, the writing style reminds me of that obnoxious forwarded email that everyone passes around. It's the one that only has a few letters of each word displayed and has something to do with how the brain processes information. As long as a few certain letters are present and many are left out, we can still read the paragraph. Perhaps this person is actually some academic who is creating a similar experiment? Oh, wait, no, there isn't anyone who is educated that could stoop that low to write like that.
I think that the barbed wire fencing is charming, especially considering that the square metal fence below it adds the special touch of the possibility of catching a hoof in it and shucking the skin off to the bone (I have heard accounts of this). That is the epitome of quality, if you ask me.
I laughed so hard I am crying from reading this. Keep 'em coming.
Well, I straightened his photo and it didn't help his conformation much.
"I've had sex for 5 years with a condom, therefore, I can't get pregnant!"
Oh, you dun it now...
(Disclaimer- this does not apply to happy, responsible parents and their children)
How many people have I heard say "So and so was an accident."
If you know where babies come from, and you do something to initiate baby-making... then it isn't an accident. There is NO FOOL-PROOF CONTRACEPTION. Just ask Mary (if you like fairytales).
"But it was an accident- I was on the pill, or we used a condom and..." you had sex. (Disclaimer for the less-than-bright: Figurative you, not YOU- RIGHT HERE, reading this- unless you *are* guilty of indiscriminately capricious coupling on the off-chance that you won't get knocked up, you irresponsible, boorish tramp!)
Have you ever heard of *not* having sex (*gaspblinkWHAAA?!)? Yes, sex is FUN... but will you honestly actually DIE if you don't get it? Can you possibly crank it in, clamp them shut, until you can be more careful and reduce your risk of bastardity?
Sex is a necessity for the continuum of a species... NOT for the individual to survive like food, clothing, and shelter are. Sex is SO emphasized that people have inaccurate delusions about it, unreal expectations and assumptions.
Go ahead, laugh. I'm not the one who had to drop out of high school. I don't drive a mini-van. And while you're picking tator-tots off your face and Faded Glory clearance blouse, I'm kickin' it up with all the other people who didn't have to find a sitter or stay home and watch Shrek for the fiftieth time. Do I get my jollies? You bet. But I'm not careless, greedy, and impatient about it. When you're any or all of those three things, you suddenly find yourself with no energy, gargantuan ankles, ugly haircuts, and *shudder* and the off-chance that your kid will screw up and haunt you until way past "just until eighteen".
And for all you sonsobitches who try to have your cake and eat it too, by leaving Little So and So with your grandparents- you should be ashamed of yourselves. Make up your mind and CHOOSE- do you want to live a fun, carefree life, do you want a career, or do you want a child? Juggling them is difficult, and it doesn't take actually having committed this idiocy to SEE it from other people's mistakes.
"You don't know- you aren't a parent yourself"... you're damn right, and I'm glad NOT to know. But let me tell you about that faaabulous overnight trail-ride I took with the gang, that weekend getaway to someplace unique and colorful, or how late I slept in the other morning... instead of "Suzy had her first solid bowel movement" or "Johnny's eating paper at school" or "I just don't have the time or energy for *anything*"...
End PSA on human sexual responsibility from WTF's Warped Wreasonings. Do you guys want me to slather on the Lowry's, or are you bringing your own sauce?
PS- am I REALLY so neurotic? Nah.. but it's really FUN to write that way sometimes!
I have been reading this blog for a few weeks now, and I havent yet left a comment. But I feel compelled to now. :) I dont agree with everything in this blog, far from it. IMO does if have a good basic message? Yes, it does. IMO could it be presented in a better fashion? Of course. The one thing that royally irritates me is the term "Back Yard Breeder" in the generalized derogatory manner (please excuse any spelling errors, I am HORRIBLE at spelling mostly due to extreme dyslexia). I consider myself a back yard breeder. I always have and I always will. Because I have no fancy facility, I have only 4 horses and so far, I only show at local schooling shows. Does all this mean that I dont produce quality animals? Hell NO! I produce 1-3 very nice foals every year. Why dont I show these quality animals do you ask? Well simply because I dont HAVE $500 to spend on a show halter for every horse, plus $500 to buy a decent showmanship outfit, plus $750/month to spend on the "big name" trainer, plus $6000 on a good name show saddle. And the list goes on and on. It simply costs too much. The foals I produce every year, basically only pay for the up-keep on the rest of my horses (some times with enough left over to buy some new tack YIPEE!) but never enough for me to be able to show in the big leagues. Therefore I am ONLY a back yard breeder, and yes it does piss me off to be lumped in with these morons that are breeding conformation faults and fugly horses. Maybe we can use a different term to lump the bad ones together and leave us good ones (BYB's) alone?
*applauds WTF*
as i said to a now-ex friend recently "why cant you just keep your knees together you rancid, yo-yo knickered, compulsive little WHORE?' *LMAO*
oh, and...
"psanc11 said...
Clearly many farmers and people in rural America are illiterate. Without them, however, American horses may already be extinct."
well thank god for that. which is to say, IF ONLY.
and while were on the topic of barbed wire - IT. IS. DESIGNED. to grab and injure. to catch in the clothes of an intruder and hold them in fear of further injury until the police arrive. that is its specific PURPOSE. putting it near animals is a ticking time bomb and if appropriate fencing is 'too expensive' then you have no business keeping horses you lamearse, cheap, miserable pricks. no fencing is as expensive as treating a horse with its leg half torn off - but then ive no doubt you wouldnt say 'its expensive' to that eventuality too.
I think the term back yard breeder automatically implies BAD, and therefore if you are producing quality foals and breeding responsibly then you don't come under that term. That's how I think of it anyway.
Lol at rant about pregnancy. I'd extend it and talk about abortion, but the off-topicness would be immense.
This can't possibly be a real ad? My god, its just plain SCAREY to think that a person with this level of education is even HANDLING a horse, let alone a stallion. (and a poor looking one at that) Ignorance is no excuse for stupidity !
Barb wire and horses, not a good mix. Stupid is as stupid does I guess.
PS...I was sent to your blog by a friend and I am thrilled to see many who think as I do.
OK I gave a link to a site maintained and run by (real) Gypsies in the UK yesterday- I have been on there and read the "blurb"
I used to teach Gypsies I know what I am up against and believe me- there is NOTHING on that site like this- I think your Tennessee ad deserves an award- it is like another language.
For a start the Gypsy site has a point to put across and does it ably- Yes, OK, foal is spelt "fole" (mostly, when it is not spelt foale!!) but my point is I can read the site without going cross eyed.
And they know every horses pedigree by word of mouth- they may not be able to spell it a lot of it but, by crikey, they can tell you who it's grandmother was, and they have some decent horses, too!!
Aargh, going off to bang my head against a wall!!!
BTW I just spellchecked this bit and found to my amazement that this Essex Girl had spelt "Tennessee" right!!!!!
TWICE!!!
And that horse is NOT carrying the Cream gene- not even in his jeans!!!
That horse is BAY
If he has a Palomino foal it is because these idiots bred him to a Black mare that was carrying the Cream gene.
Black horses can, Bay horses cannot!!!
Well, smokey black. But it is hard to tell the difference.
Lol, I think that's the least of this ad's problems! Try explainin gthe genetics of cream to these people...
sleepinglion - I agree with kyani. You are not a BYB in the true meaning of the term if you are breeding quality horses. My horses are in my "back yard", too. The term, "back yard breeder" has evolved to describe those who breed horses irresponsibly (also due to the lack of funds to have a "proper", professional facility for raising horses). There aren't many horse breeders who are poor and illiterate, with small, run-down backyard facilities, who breed high class horses. I know there are exceptions, but they're certainly not the rule. Stereotyping BYBs is quite logical and usually warranted.
Oh crap! I am not sure which hurts more- my sides from laughing at FHD's comments or my head from trying to read the ads this woman wrote.
Did anyone notice that she also has a QH horse listed as "5.2h"? Wow! That is smaller than most minnies.
I half expected to have one of the ads read "Cum one, cum all to are backyrd and lets git sum breaden dun."
Yikes.
"Paso Fino breeders (on the BYB level, at least) are just as bad. They breed and buy up a whole string of these fugly little rat-tailed horses with muley faces, and then try to sell them as Capachino's Grandson.. uh, dumbasses, they ALL are almost... But I digress... since the Paso breed is a "anybody can ride them because they're smooth and fun"... it attracts literally everyone- and since mostly everyone are morons but us who love this blog, you see what happens :-D "
Wow, that is harsh. But I do agree with some of what you say. I do disagree about the BYB level of breeders being bad. I know many small breeders that are actually trying to breed a high quality horse and not get involved with fads and big names. They are producing good quality horses that appeal to a wider variety of people.
I would actually say that some of the big time show breeders are the worst as they produce gobs of babies trying to get the next fino champion. If it does not pan out, they take the sausage bodied, thick necked, sickle hocked, brain fried rejects and pass them on to someone who is just getting into the breed or does not know better. They dazzle the people with the big names in the pedigree and send the horse on down the road, often times these are stallions. Paso Fino people need to learn the value of geldings.
Oh, and there are a good many horses out there that do not have Capuchino in their bloodlines. I think that saying most colombian horses have Resorte would be a more accurate statement.
Oh, and not all of them are fugly and rat tailed with muley faces. Many of them are perfectly gorgeous. ;-)
graciela - Paso Finos aren't the only breed whose culls are snatched up by BYBs. It's everywhere. BYBs believe that a famous name far back in a pedigree means the horse is a good one, worthy of breeding, regardless of its actual quality. BYBs (in the sense that it is meant here) do not know a quality horse from a fugly one. In order to breed quality horses, one must know what exceptional looks like for that breed, then breed toward it. Most BYBs just breed to be breeding, believing they are creating quality horses, when in reality, they are not. You can bet the fugly horses that appear on this site started out as someone's perfect horse when they were foaled.
I just wish that the big names in the breeds would be a little more ethical and stop pawning their culls off as good starter horses for small breeders. They know better. They should geld their colts before the sell them. Mares, well. I wish there was something that could be done about them.
forthefutureofthebreed said...
smoke - Nigerian scammers don't know anything about horses, let alone anything about inbreeding to Three Bars. This ad is real.
Future, I was trying to be funny. Since they read so many Horse for Sale ads, you have to expect them to pick up at least a little knowledge. If this is truly a serious ad, then how many mares do you think it's going to bring in? Common sense tells you someone like that (with that quality animal) cannot possibly be doing any business. Wouldn't they just weed themselves out at some point?
One would think they would eventually go out of business. Who knows how long they've been breeding up to this point? They might be nice folks with a local following, so that would keep them going somewhat. I can't imagine anyone with any class doing business with them from afar. And they really don't have anything special, even from a pedigree standpoint. Anyone can have "a son of a son of", so that's nothing special. But the horse world is full of breeders like this. Unless they are independently wealthy, they won't last too long.
>>And while you're picking tator-tots off your face and Faded Glory clearance blouse, I'm kickin' it up with all the other people who didn't have to find a sitter or stay home and watch Shrek for the fiftieth time. <<
Thank you. It's good to have this kind of laugh this early in the morning!
Re: the term BYB, it is not meant to refer to people who are producing QUALITY foals. I have a friend like that - she has maybe 2 foals a year, they sell for $5000+, they are the quality where they show up later at Congress and the World Show and do well. She did not get into breeding until she had already been in horses for 20 years. Her horses are exceptionally well cared for. Nobody talking about BYB's is talking about people like that. We are talking about people who do not know conformation, do not know genetics, do not know the pedigrees and what they mean, do not get proper vet care, do not have proper facilities, do not show or even TRAIN their damn horses...and the list goes on. Show me a herd of 12 unhandled coming 2 year olds and I'll show you a BYB, even if they have 100 acres and a 200 x 300 indoor arena.
Why do people think that a horse will be great if it has Three Bars 10 generations back???
That is a disgrace to Three Bars to claim him in their bloodlines.
I have (2) Three Bars horses. One is a grand daughter and one is a grand son. Both on the sire side. They are 23 yrs old. I can promise you they do not look anything that those horses!!! (thank god)
Three Bars was a great horse, but just because you can prove that somewhere your horse has that bloodline doesn't mean you should breed that horse!!!!
Oh and yes I am breeding my Three Bars mare. I know, I know, I just ranted about not breeding but my mare is one that should be bred!!!
AMEN FUGLY, to make an amendment to your list, to go with your 100 acres and a covered arena, I would like to add "web site" to the list
http://www.equinenow.com/equine/data/photos/23608_1.jpg
What the hell kind of stalls are these??..gee this looks like a wonderfully safe place..all the comforts your horse could ever need including 1346 ways for him to commit suicide if he gets clinically depressed...what is wrong with these people?..I think someone should have looked somewhere besides the annual family reunion for their mate..."shes real perty aint she?"...
Yankee, did you read that add, OMG!!
FUGLY THIS IS FOR YOU
Additional Comments:
she is brok to leed.she is real smart from the first time i put the hholter on her she never puled back.she started leading right off.
Shipping Notes:
byer payes
pedigree on file:
sir cash creek zoe reed dam missy brio sir dam skips zoe bam sir sir pryor creek mr hill dam sir skips con brio dam dam docasina miss out of tardys bonanza and docasina out of dock prescription and holly tomasina cash creek zoe reed out of skips gold dun and skips zoe bam and skips zoe bam is out of pass an cash and cash bam and pass an cash is out of dash for cash the further back you go in her pedigree yoy will find horses like go man go, dock bar, coys bonanza, oklahoma star, and man of wor.
all breed database
if yoy cant sea cash reeds missbrio pidigree on this add you can go to all breed database tipe her name then click on horse quatry.
Haha, agreed. I have a gelding [yes GELDING] who goes back to three bars three times. He sure doesn't look like those horses. There is a big difference between a horse that has good bloodlines through and through, and a horse that has A good bloodline. Some people don't get that.
OMG!! I hav not lafed so hard in yeers!!
I absolutely LOVE This site!!
Take a look at their website!! With lots of stallions:)
http://www.jjquarterhorses.com/
How about the mare that seems to be eating out of a bushhog??
http://www.jjquarterhorses.com/Skips%20zoe%20Bam.htm
http://www.jjquarterhorses.com/Spanish%20Creek%20Cash.htm
mil-
My gosh! The prices they have on those horses are definately unrealistic!
Three Bars was a tremendous positive influence on the QH as a breed. And you won't find many QHs today that don't have at least one cross to him. I imagine most anyone with a decent QH can claim they have a "Three Bars-bred horse". What I have found is that the difference between a quality one and a poor quality one can be huge, and are quite dependent on the quality of the horses in between Three Bars and the subject horse. Three Bars was foaled in 1940, so we're talking about several generations or more removed from him in mody present day horsed.
I bred for a foal last year that had 57 crosses to Three Bars. That is not at all unusual, even for a well-bred Paint. The closest occurrence was in the 7th generation. I would never claim that Three Bars (at 3.52%) was responsible for the quality of that horse.
That AK site is ridiculous. I love the way they think that doing things like that to the pics makes them more appealing. That one mare has a mare growing out her bum... really great. I want a Siamese horse!
Well, that was a typographical nightmare! Sorry about that! That should be "most" and "horses".
nw horse person - My God, that is horribly illiterate. Can you imagine this person entering horses into that all breed database? "dock bar" and "man of wor"? LMAO.
You owe me a new monitor AND a new keyboard because they are both now covered with Diet Coke.
This blog is freakin' hilarious, some days it's the only thing that gets me up in the morning.
Forthefuture-----Don't worry about the database, "DOCK BAR AND MAN OF WOR" when you click on those stallions it takes you to the KISSING COUSINS page and DUELING BANJOS music fires up in the back ground and all input is automatically deleted, it was a fail safe installed when the program was written..
nw horse person - LMAO!
All funnies aside, that site is horrible. Sooo many people rely on those pedigrees, and that's a real shame.
Jeeplee!! Whoa!! I never did notice the prices on those critters!! $45,000???
http://www.jjquarterhorses.com/
Oh great look @ this ad I just come across!!
"Sierra is a beautiful sorrel with a HUGE white blaze and four white stockings Quarter Mare. She is 3 years old and she is 15.1HH, she is NOT REGISTERED. She has not been handled so she is not halter broke or gentled. She is NOT mean at all, she has a VERY sweet eye and a loving personality. There is NOTHING wrong with this mare, she is UTD on everything!! I am only asking $150 for her because I need to sell her ASAP:-( To a loving home ONLY! I DO NOT HAVE NAY PICS,SORRY. PLEASE CALL ME AT IF YOU ARE INTERESTED. I DO NOT HAVE A COMPUTER AT THE MOMENT. Thanks!"
How do you have a 3 yr old not halter broke???? And how can she be UTD on everything if you can't get a halter on her?????
I am a newbie to this sight, and absolutely love it!
It is really too bad that the woman who owns these horses is so uneducated that she can barely even spell her own name. Poor horses! Did you see the rickety stalls that these horses are kept in? ICK!
I am glad that i am not the only one who tilted their laptop to adjust the picture! :)
That's what I wondered. How do they worm her, trim or give vacs if she's not halter broke? I think they saw "UTD" on other ads and figured that sounded good. LOL.
It is shocking how many unhandled adult horses are out there. A friend of mine got an unhandled 4 year old last year. She is the rarity - someone who was experienced enough to deal with him. He is actually green broke now! I shudder to think if someone would have gotten him who did not have the knowledge to deal with his panic attacks about having his feet touched, standing on his hind legs rather than load, constant snorty reactions to anything he had not seen before, flipping himself over backward while ground driving...he is on his way to being a useful member of equine society today ONLY because he fell into the hands of the 5% of the horse owning population that is really prepared to take on this sort of project AND not get hurt in the process. Most horse like him don't have that kind of luck, and it's only a matter of time before they wind up at the auction.
Ha!..can someone please explain why the people at jjquarterhorses felt the need to simply reverse the picture of Jet Set Sophie to show her other side rather then simply turning the mare around or *gasp* walking around to the other side?..what the hell is wrong with the other side that you don't want to show it?..instead they flipped the photo in an attempt to trick us into thinking that it was actually the mares other side..next time they go to do this, they may want to crop hillbilly uncle Fred out of the picture..it gives away their secret..haha..just for future reference to the creators of all those...umm...ah hum..lovely creatures at JJ Quarter Horses..we are smart enough to figure out your photo shop trickery!..being a Quarter Horse breeder & trainer myself, I find it demeaning to the breed that they even put Quarter Horse in their name...shutter..
FHD - So true. It takes time and/or money to do something with a horse. Many people aren't willing to invest in that.
FHOTD: We had a couple call us a couple of weeks ago for help. They bought (2) horses at a goat auction because they felt sorry for them. Well one is a yearling one is 7 yrs old. Neither are halter broke. The person that sold them the horses did not unload them because there was no where to put them. (good excuse!) So he delivered the horses and turned them out on 5 acres. Well they couldn't even get close to them so they called us for help. They only spent $400.00 on the 2 and they thought they got a good deal. They could have spent $3,000.00 for a nice horse and come out cheaper!!!
Well anyway my brother has been working them every day but the chances of the 7 yr old ever being broke is kinda slim. He has already bit my brother luckily it was him and not the owners. At least he was getting out of the way when it happened. Oh and by the way when we asked them if they had a halter for them their response.
What is a halter??????
Poor horses. Pretty much doomed.
I just had a call yesterday from someone who would like me to help her deal with the illegal Mexican next door who is breeding - are ya ready - TWH/Arab/QH crosses. Nothing is broke, he doesn't own a trailer, he is going to lose his pasture and does not know what to do since he does not have any money to board them.
*headdesk*
sleepinglion:
You may have dyslexia, but do you also have spell-check? I can't help but notice you *did* do quite well on your maiden flight into the no-life-zone of blog commenting. Your argument might have held more water had you actually displayed lysdexic tendencies in your writing, rather than your kind, intelligent, sane, and well-written (besides the arguments I admit I'm picking just for fun, no harm intended, but I like thinking and asking people to think) response.
You may be a "backyard breeder"... but do you support the stereotype with your actions?
Not accusing you of NOT doing the following, but instead of defending and rationalizing your actions with blog posts, they could do so with actions instead.
Here's something that sets me apart as a dirty snob, too. Your use of the word "fancy". "I have no fancy facility"...
When we're on the floor and someone says "My, GAWD... what is that couple DOING... it's so SMOOTH!" A person withOUT jealousy will say "That's standard foxtrot and open footowork" or "that's silver foxtrot, because their feet aren't closing." Bear in mind that this is not on a regional level. It is quite big-fish, little-pond local.
... The ones who quit dancing because "them two jest took off and left us in the dirt..." say "Eh, it's that fancy crap they're larnin' in lessons... cain't nobody do that..."
I take the term "fancy" to be dismissive and trivializing of someone else's hard work. "All that faincy stuff" is *so*.. I'm gonna say it.. "hillbilly". If you consider yourself a respectable breeder, why not stop calling yourself a "backyard breeder" and instead say "I'm a small-scale personal breeder"? Why did african americans stop the use of "nigger" and take such offense to it? Because it most deservedly has very negative connotations, and they don't deserve to be insulted like that. The term "Nigger" doesn't HAVE to denote venomous bigotry and ignorant racism- but NOBODY can EVER get past it's horrible shock value now, understandably so. Originally, it was a vernacular form of "Negro" or "Niger"- which in themselves AREN'T bad terms... but the connotation placed upon them by cretinous, greedy, and horrible actions during the 1800's forever marked that as a taboo word in our dictionary. I use that one because it is the most obvious example of misnomenclature. Another example is "You and your little (insert horse, purse, job, car, etc.)... the "little" IS in fact intended to "belittle" the object or endeavor in question.
I think a lot of people just don't know how to give themselves the credit they deserve. Self-deprecation has become the norm and the expected because, as Vonnegut hinted heavily at in Bergeron... it's not cool to be better than everyone else, whether you really are, or just think you are. In fact, to tangentialize further... ever heard "Thank yer bedder n' me?".. or "she just think she's so better than everyone else"... and usually- she is. She's the one with the KC Leaguer colt and the Hobby Horse jacket kicking your kid's ass in showmanship because you dragged Brownie up out of the cow pasture three days before, put a colored rope halter on him, and butchered his bridle-path with scissors. NOt "you" personally, mind. The "general you". And not the one from an asian army (yu, you... I give up)..
So- unless you actually suck.. don't act like you do. And quit whining about being poor, "Like Kenny". We all are, and it's all our faults. We could have money if we didn't blow it all on horses. It's another choice we don't like to own up to. It doesn't make us bad people- it's just that we need to quit blaming money for spending it on stuff that makes us happy. Although- if you're "poor"..and you KEEP BREEDING, again, it goes back to making choices with sense. If I'm broke and can't pay my cellphone bill, I don't buy another pair of shoes or the $750 blazing scarlet ASB 2-yr-old-mare in California I found on HorseDirect the other day while looking for fugly fodder. The want is there- OH BOY is it (I already have her new name picked out, and I found this GORGEOUS pink-swarovski headstall, and I could teach her backyard dressage, and we could go chase deer, and..)... but I know that "I ain't ready to be havin' no mo' babies", so I close the browser window and think of other things. Like baked potatoes, or Michael Buble.
SO, your BYB argument is moot and "WAH". That, and arguments similar TO it are weak defenses. Instead of embracing a bad name, excel above it in deed so that you earn another good name- or screw labels and make your own.
You're a respectable contributress to equinia, and there's no need to defend yourself to the likes of me or anyone else. Suck it up and go with "your horses are awesome". And quickly... before I get all sidetrackylongwindy (Polish for STFU?) again. My whole rant was actually my own bitchy way of "well, Like your philosophy, and if you apply it, you ARE an asset, so quit defending yourself".
On Barbwire (aka bobwar):
I thought it was originally designed just to be an "ouch" for cattle. If they hit it and said "dur, this hurts", it would make them think twice about rushing it? Again- that was in my 5th grade history book, and far be it from me to actually apply book-larnin's :-D
On Gypsies:
I can't say anything other than I need a jar of gypsy tears to keep away the aids.
On "Proper Facilities":
If your horses are sound, healthy and happy (and you're in the poorhouse), then that's a proper facility. If your horses are continually receiving vet visits for colic, stitches, freak and sudden deaths, and they are constantly lame our out of commission... that's a bad facility. What's so hard to see in this?
Graciela and Pasos:
I forgot my disclaimers of "most, many, somethatgoverntherest". I was hoping that by now anybody reading me would realize I didn't mean "all", but alas... a few fall through the cracks.
I happen to know that some pasos be gorgeous- I owned two, and, every bit of their morbidly obese, barn-sour, J-tailed (oops, canoworms), gaiting, TROTTING, cribbing, sickle-hocked green-and-yellow-and-brown selves. I still want that big red fireball mare though. How much is priority mail on 1000lbs from california... no, I need that money for a workshop coming up. Argh. See- poor. So poor. But if I didn't do all that I do with my money, I'd have tons of it... but nothing to do. Bored and with money is bad.
On Big Name Paso Breeders- I have issue with anyone who calls their horses a "collection". The Besilu Collection, for example. They eat and shit- they aren't statues. And when your dumb brown ass is gaiting a BABY hellbent down a strip of BLACKTOP for an HOUR at the Nationals show so some moron with a Heineken in one hand and a digital camera in the other can get Youtube fodder, THAT pisses me OFF.
Last on the phrase BYB:
Ok, BYB is the same as MORON. I think it's been specifically set aside as something derogatory- unless people take the initiative to change it. You don't say "That's Betsy Steiner, she's a backyard trainer (lightning strike me now- I worship her, and yes, the second Equitana, I got her autograph when I was thirteen at Lamplight's second show of the season, does anybody have pics of Uwe's former Petrocelli, the BIG red boy?)".. First of all, I'd hunt you down and kick your ass. Second of all, she ISN"T and she can PROVE it.
Remember Flying M Paso Finos and that gargantuan farce of a herd dispersal sale a couple years ago? They were massive-scale Back Yard Breeders, in that yes, they had some steller horses... but they just KEPT ON BREEDING without regard so that then they had what... two hundred? More?.. horses to let go. Whatever happened to all that I don't know- or care.
On people who think I'm a bitch for nitpicking spelling/grammEr (snicker):
If you don't take the time to try to properly communicate yourself to me, I'm not going to take you seriously. If you don't take the time to bother with showing your own facility and horses seriously by presenting them as well-turned-out as you can (it doesn't stop with brushing and vetting them. Their photographs and bios online are important, too), I'm not going to bother, and I don't care if I pass that diamond in the rough up. With billions and billions (Sagan!) of horses on the planet... yours isn't the ONLY ONE of ANYTHING.
No, I don't take the spelling as seriously as it appears I do. We all make typos, because most of us can think much more rapidly than our fingers can type. Most of us are also too lazy to go back and revise. BUT- if I have an error in my posts that could be irreversible, read wrongly, etc... I will delete it (several of the "deleted by author" ones are mine) and either revise it, or just remove it if it really didn't contribute anything I wanted to say. But then, if you can't guess by now, I am a writer, ROFL. Maybe not a great one, but it's something I do.
Bad spelling is like walking around with an ass-comet (your new word of the day, meaning toilet paper flapping cheerily from the back of your pants after a trip to the bathroom)... it doesn't HURT anything, but it's just DUMB, so why do it? If spelling weren't such a problem, then why do most presidential first ladies even bother with literacy campaigns- that educate ADULTS, for FREE. That's the same thing as handing out free contraception... that's a HINT people!
It's also like that innocuous "cute" colty behavior- it says the colt (or the writer) doesn't take YOU seriously enough to worry about what you think of them. If you like looking that way in print, go ahead, just be prepared for someone out there with a keyboard and an unsolicited opinion, who's mostly bark. Or barq- I believe it's beverage time.
"Bad spelling is like walking around with an ass-comet (your new word of the day, meaning toilet paper flapping cheerily from the back of your pants after a trip to the bathroom)... "
Still laughing..... haha
WTF - You're funnier 'n shit. LMAO. I like you.
WTF,
You make my day! When I click on this site (My favorite, by the way)I search for your comments first. I wish I had your gift.
WTF - hilarious, but half of that flew in one ear and out the other of some of my critics, who I suspect are not big fans of that hyar edumacation stuff. They are probably googling right now to see what kind of Natural Horsemanship Vonnegut does and if they can buy his videos.
McKuster Ranch, LLC here saying thank you for the compliment on how we have setup our ranch/ horse pastures. I have no understanding of anyone that would have barbed wire on the same property with a horse, or why. The value of a good horse in being safe and sound on the hoof, not a meat hook. We have had a few scraps with the 12ga smooth wire, so I have gone back through our pastures / cross-fencing and run a strand of electric poly-rope 6" off the ground to create another visual barrier. Yes, we believe in letting horses live freely in open pasture space. I have heard some folks find it hard to catch a horse living freely, well I feel they are not spending enough time with their horse if that is the case. A horse that does not know its owner well enough to come running when called, is not getting enough connection time to know its owner. I think and have found that properly handled anyone should be able to walk up to their horse, pet, groom, halter that horse in open pasture. We treat our horses like 1000 lb.pets and love it when they high-tail-it and run as a herd in open spaces.
Thanks again for your compliment of McKuster Ranch, LLC way of doing our horsey things.
Wow, I work at a Champion Morgan barn... and they had one horse in for training that was a Saddlebred QH.... Never thought anyone else could possibly be as stupid as this owner to cross the two!
Personally, thats like breeding a short nosed dog (pug type) to a Great Dane.... You dont normally want to cross something meant more for saddleseat and park, with something meant for working cows and such. Maybe we aren't giving these people enough credit.... perhaps they smoked a little too much crack on a breeding day?
WHO in their right mind would own a AQHA stallion and allow a Saddlebred mare to be bred to him? I own a paint stud, and if I had a saddlebred mare owner ask to breed, I would send her down the lane to a saddlebred breeder. the 2 breeds have very different conformation and breed standards, how could you ever think anything good would come of it?
And why on earth are you trying to sell a stud fee when you cant even properly describe your should be nutless animal in english? As I always say, Stupid people should not reproduce... now I am firm with, Stupid people should not be allowed to advertise and breed their crap animals. I feel sorry for the stud and all, but honestly.... That lady needs to start with taking herself into a clinic and getting her tubes tied, then go back to school, and while she is at that, get ALL of her studs gelded and her mares spayed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mckuster - I spent a while looking around on your website yesterday. Very nice place you have there.
FHOD... PLEASE don't get me started on that tree-huggin' hippie bullshit (Cartman) Natural Horsemanship. Bwahaha *cracks knuckles and begins typing*:
UGH. There's so much I could say, but the gist of it is:
If you're that fuggin' scared to just get on and ride, sell the gawt-damned horse and buy a bicycle, then join a support group for the validation you're so ardently seeking in the companionship of your animals, who only care about food.
Natural Horsemanship is JUST like the pyramid scam craze of Amway, Herbalife, Melaleuca, etc... fruity hogwash snake oil bullshit peddled upon sapheads who won't research their own questions, and instead rely on others to do it for them.
GOOD HORSE TRAINING is neither natural horsemanship or... whatever else. It's just common sense. There's no label for it. Pat Parelli is a an arrogant douche, and any of his more culty worshippers are a bunch of moustache-riding wysteria yuppies with boring husbands who find their bored wives so revolting that they'd rather go golf or scuba dive or rock climb or bash their testicles with heavy rocks than try to cuddle up next to them and have conversation or climb on a horse and go riding with them.
You know why the clinicians are making a killing? Look at Ponyboy.. he's HOT. I want to lick North Carolina red sand out of the crack of his ASS just to watch him put on all his lululululululu regalia and ride around a pfizer-sponsored covered arena... and then bathe him and give him a haircut and put him in a pair of Ralph Lauren chinos and a Burberry shirt and take him to a nice restaurant.
ALL of them spew the same "you should know this by now" in varied forms using different terminology. Get a real idol, like Podjasky.
I love this blog- it puts me in the most FABULOUS mood to have creativity, energy and zip and GO... I feel like jogging when I get all revved up off the crazy of others, ROFL.
Greatpaints- thank you.. but don't EVER ever wish for my curse. I love to write just like a bored horse loves to wreck his stall. Writing- or at least my brand of it- is more of a destructive vice that damages me, but entertains others, yet it's something I can't stop because it's compulsory. Like cribbing. When a horse is bored, they find ways to occupy their mind. Some of your most nasty stall-kept horses would be Van Goghs or Mozarts or Rowlings if they just had fingers. I'm none of those- I'm just a fruit-loop with a keyboard:-D
And there's your "let's self-psychoanalyze" segment of WTF's Crazy Goodtime Show.
Hello McKuster Ranch and welcome!
Your place looks lovely, and horses who have good experiences with people and riding, and who live on pasture as nature intended, are rarely hard to catch. When I try to fix fence or do other work in the pasture, I can't get RID of horses - they are all over me trying to "help." I am sure it is the same at your place!
Thank you for having the guts to educate the public about safe fence, proper horsekeeping and how to avoid colic (you are dead on with that).
WTF - I will be doing a feature on NH. I just have to. I have the most hysterical collection of pictures found on the web that you have ever seen.
*Squeee!* Can we poke fun at them? Look... my horse can jump through hoops and sleep with tigers... but she sure as shit can't collect and round on the flat for more than three strides, and her canter looks like her ass is five lengths behind the horse behind us!
What I have learned or learnt (snicker) from WTF
1. I no longer read your posts with a mouthful of coffee (I has been hell on my computer room carpet)
2. I have instituted a MUST wear DEPENDS rule for when I read your posts
Keep it up, both you and Fugly
WTF, your posts may just outdo the funny of fuglyhorse itself. You make my horrible awful boring office job just about bearable.
Oh! In the NH post, can we have something about how they can throw a ball at their horse's FACE without it flinching? Can we? Can we!?
That always freaked me out.
LOL- I've modified a joke I heard ages and ages ago:
Two cannibals went to NW_Horse_Person's farm. One waited outside and kept watch, while the other went inside. After awhile, Cannibal Number One emerged, wiping his mouth.
"So? What'd NW_Horse_Person taste like?" asked Number Two.
One shrugged and said "Depends."
:-D
What would we do without this blog?
The ones that always make me giggle is when they have the horse balancing with all 4 feet on a stump like a circus elephant.
and we do this WHY?
FHD - There really isn't a real point in teaching a horse to do silly things like that. But, as a person who has created trusting, bombproof, all around horses in my younger years, I will say that all that silly stuff does have some value. I'm not defending the NH stuff at all, although as an experienced horse person, I can take a few things here and there from them and use them successfully. And it's not anything we didn't already know if we have a bit of common sense. But I do believe that if we vary a horse's routine, and expose them to all kinds of different things, it makes a better horse in the long run. I don't think I'd pull the chair trick, but I'd like to think I could if I wanted to. :-)
WTF - you must be aware that Go-on-a-pony boy is an Italian boy toy from the Bronx. Not one spec of Native American in him.... what a fraud.
You hit the nail on the head with his schtik (or maybe you should hit your head on his schtik) - the only reason he's popular is because all the horny old ladies drool at him sitting half-naked on a horse.
One of his first books (before he "borrowed" all the other NH techniques) is just a coffee table photo album. Gag me with a tomahawk!
Yes, and like the others, between your posts and FHD, i have to replace my Assure pantiliner at least twice as often!
Italian? Well, I have it on high authority that "Gawani" means "Duck" as in... quack...
Foxy yes, talented, no.
I agree that training your horse through fun stuff IS useful... but it's like riding a moped- fun until someone sees you do it:-D
Parelli and stuff can have some good ideas - like the "carrot stick" thing. But then again, I know horsemen who have been using something similar all their lives to train horses. My trainer has one and all his horse respect that pvc stick thing.
The thing is, they make you pay out the ass and you don't get their personal attention. It's like saying that you can learn dressage over the internet. You can't.
I worry about the people who think they can buy any crazy, fugly horse and "fix" him all by themselves with Parrelli.
Parellians remind me of those World of Warcraft guilds. "Well, I'm a level three night elf demon hedgewizard smith mage"
Ye-es... and do you have a girlfriend? Oh, that's ri-ight.. your flaccid elven dagger of dangle has plus a million against booty....
WTF - watch it with the Warcraft stuff! Dem's fightin' words. My kid is yes, addicted to it, yes he has no girlfriend, and no I am not aware of his ummm-status "down there" - he's only 14.
But hell, I know what I was doing at 14 and it wasn't proper - or legal.
So, if it keeps him off the street and keeps his willywag out of some little bimbos "forbidden field of dreams" so be it!
Now, for the comparison of the Levels,, truer words were never spoked- Maybe I could get my kid to design a Perils of Parelli online game world thing. It would sell like HOTCAKES!
WTF, A little off topic, but...are you a ballroom dancer? Me too. I figured wrecking my knees and hips riding wasn't enough, thought I should work on torturing my feet, too.
I wish I had a dime for everytime some instructor said "Oh, your horse back riding experiences will certainly help you learn to dance", to which I say "WHAAAT????" (a la Borat)
I will say, however, dancing has helped my riding.
Fugly, I love it your blog. 5 years ago I got a big old Amish-used-until-almost-dead-then-sold-for-meat Percheron (kind of a Percheron, I should say). She's an interesting mix of everything that's wrong with pretty much any breed out there)
And, surprise, she was pregnant when I bought her. She was, by my vet's estimation, at least 25 years old, poor old worn out thing.
Here's my point, finally. The Amish breed horses for utility and purpose, however poorly they may do it. Are they BYB?
HOLY SHIT!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I CAN'T LEARN DRESSAGE FROM THE INTERNET??? DOES THAT MEAN, I HAVE BEEN WASTING MY TIME WITH RFDTV TOO?? DAMN DAMN DAMN
snicker
Oh, shit, do not get me started on the Amish, it will turn into some kind of religious war and someone will accuse me of racism...er, what would that be, faithism?
Suffice it to say that based upon what I have seen at auctions, SOME Amish are making QUITE a case for an argument that NO Amish should be allowed to own ANY horses.
OK, we are on the dangerous "faithism" path, but I live in a community surrounded by Amish; hard for me to abstain.
What I see often sickens me. And have you heard the horror stories of how they geld?
By the same standards, though, there are many non-Amish, from every discipline, who are just as brutal and BYB with the best (or worst) of them.
LMFH... at his age, it's not a problem yet. But when he turns thirty, he has long, nappy hair in a dingy gray Goody rubber band making a puffy, greasy ponytail down the back of his unwashed back from his receding hairline, his black Hot Topic T-shirt is ringed with caked salt, and Hot Pockets sends him a year's supply just for being such a faithful customer... THEN you got problems.
On Dancing: Yes! Two years, am/am, non-competing. We just got back from watching the VolState though, because I have an insatiable fetish for trying to accidentally bump into Ben Ermis. *Swoon*
I was extensively into equitation and showmanship throughout my show/training/coaching career, but the thing that flummoxes me the most is foot placement in Standard, and my shoulders, neck, and arms. In horsemanship and showmanship, we always were "up and back", with the exception of the "straighten and lengthen your back by sitting on your wrangler pockets". The pocket sitting helped me with torso and hip contact, but H/J work over fences has really screwed up my "move freely from the hip, rise from the floor through the leg, and heel-lead, then heel-ball"...
Worse yet- now, I'm the HORSE, NOT the handler! I have to wait for cues, follow body movement, and not just pitch a spaz and drag my partner all over the floor like I used to hate when my horses did- although to be fair, they rarely did that, and when they did, they were "just playin'" (the little turds..)
So dancing has helped me understand the body communication process, some of the posture and foot-tracking, but in a way, it's also hindered me because of small, niggling things that riding coaches bark about for doing, and the ballroom coaches bark about for NOT doing. Our two coaches are really, really good though- she understands my background in horses, and I've, bless her heart, caught her trying to use horse terminology to explain things to me. Our Smooth/Rhythm coach is the re-incarnation of my old ASB/Morgan 5-gator. Long, tall, dark, handsome, patient as Job, let's people clunk and bang and fall and drag all over him, and he can still make anyone look like a million bucks- but watch out if you try to put spurs on him or start shit.
Do you find the large joint of your big toe on your left foot HURTING after a long night on the floor? If I could fix that without getting yet ANOTHER pair of shoes, I would. As it is, Equi-Block and Bio-Freeze are working all right.
On Amish:
Those illiterate, inbred, poorly-spoken degenerate misguided bastard freaks. Some of them DO have very thick ethnic accents, but some of them are just so poorly-spoken because it's all they grew up hearing. They sound as though they actually have a literal, legitimate speech impediment, and it's actually only their undereducation.
Maybe THEY need World of Warcraft so they can stop fuckin' each other as soon as they turn thirteen and spewing out more of the little cracker roaches.
WTF - I shall have to remember to NEVER take a sip of any sort of beverage before reading one of your posts. Extranasal expiration of Pepsi is most uncomfortable!
Did anyone see this ad?
http://www.equinenow.com/horse-ad-44095
This friggin horse has "Long Long Leges and can fly" according to the profoundly retarded inbred hillbilly backyard fuck that owns her. Not only r thay iliterit thay is tu stuppid tu no that hosses downt fli!
See, these people are the perfect supporting example of why MANDATORY STERILIZATION should be law in the U.S. Got an IQ of less than 90? Tubes tied, deballed, whatever it takes to cull you from the breeders in society. If only I were president! (*plays harp music and daydreams of role as benevolent dictator*)
horsewings - That's the same owner of the hookd ohn fonics horse. Pathetic.
OK, not to highjack the thread, but this does pertain to riding...
WTF, yes, I totally agree on "now I'm the horse" theme. Man, it irritates me when my partner suddenly is just not there, and he's saying "work with me, babe", after I've had no cue that he's suddenly going to execute a spin turn. I'm sure if he could, he'd put the spurs to me to make me "listen". Every rider should have to experience it, helps one see things from a horse's point of view.
Yes, my left foot big toe joint does hurt sometimes. Isn't that interesting that it's the same foot for both of us? Here's what my doc says...do lots of stretching out of your toes, to keep the joint from rotating inwards (open your toes like a fan, and also bend them up and down). I also invested in some metatarsal pads; they stick inside your shoe and provide support to the ball of your foot, thereby decreasing the percussive force to the joint.
Back to the fugly: I've already learned from this blog that my horse does have a nice shoulder angle. That's about all I can say nice about her appearance other than she's black and really shiny.
I just found this site, love it. My husband fenced some of our pasture with barbed wire. It would all be that way but I bitched major and he has replaced much of it with smooth wire. But just Sunday night, we went out to feed the horses and my 7 yr old Mare had hair missing, scratches and blood all over one of her legs. I have only owned her for a few months and she has had several scratches on her nose and body. DH just doesn't get it. He says now how does she get her legs damaged like that? Who cares how, it's the wire!! I paid a pretty good amount for her as she is a really beautiful Bay Paint overo but she will not be for much longer with the barbed wire!! Sigh.......
Oh God!! I just read the article above the barbed wire one. Is this for real? As sad as it is, I did LMAO at your come backs and comments. This is really sad!! I have never seen anything like this. I bet they are just racking in the bucks with their stud!! *shaking head* Sad.
l HATE barbed wire but have to also admit l've seen cases where people have used the wrong tensil straight wire and it has drastic results in an accident,l owned one mare who as a 2 year old cut her throat(semi through windpipe) and have heard of others who have died from being straight sliced(shock) barbed wire is directly related in MORE horsey accidents but the wrong tensil(wire strength) kills, sometimes it is viewed as better a scar than dead...personally l have medium tensil wire fencing with a light gauge hotwire on the inside of all fence, lve seen some people attach a piece of hot tape to their horses rug to make sure they get a zap and learn respect for the fence(l havent ever done it but think l should try it on one escapee shetland lol)
luvmyfuglyhorse said...
WTF - you must be aware that Go-on-a-pony boy is an Italian boy toy from the Bronx. Not one spec of Native American in him.... what a fraud
Hey I have it on good authority that he is a Jewish kid from the Bronx.
that whud b fun posting comnts liek dat al daye long!
LOL! Fugs.... founder of the Hooked on Phonics to BYB and Neuter Scooter programs.
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