Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Best of FHOTD: $16,000 of horse behind $50 worth of fence

Always worthy of a repost...and as an addition, I just got forwarded this yucky page showing the results of fencing injuries, one of them fatal. (warning: graphic) You know, cleaning up a pasture's not that hard. You can find guys off Craigslist who will happily haul off all manner of scrap, cars, etc. You can keep horses from leaning on and trashing fence by running a cheap strand of hot tape over the top and trust me, your 14 year old can install hot tape if you can't get your own butt off the couch. It is super easy, and you owe it to your horses!

One of my favorite humorous websites is one called Great Mobile Homes of Mississippi. It's a hoot, check it out. In that spirit, I'd like to dedicate today's blog to horses living in trailer trash paradises all over.

Here we have a 3 year old grade stallion (why? why? why?). His pasture is decorated with a classic car that has not moved since Eisenhower was President, and a huge heap of scrap. You will also note if you look closely that one strand of loose wire fence falls just above his pasterns. In what world is that safe? I'm not sure what the beige thing in front of his water tub is, either. Is that a storage bin from someone's pickup truck?

Poor little stallion of indisciminate origin...only $300 takes him home. I suspect they might throw in the car, though!

Here's another winner. This is a color breeder (who's surprised?) and two 2005 colts that are for sale for a combined total of $16,000. We can all hear the "squeal and strike" coming when we look at this picture. Now look at that lovely fence! Gee, I wonder what they are worth when they stick their foot through the fence and cut their hoof half off?

Folks, running a string of hotwire - not so hard. Get off the couch, turn off the TV, go outside and do some work.

While you are out there fixing the fence, could you do something about your stallion's mane? I suspect the problem here is your motivation, not your inability to purchase a comb and some Show Sheen.

Seriously, people. When you put up a web site, it's for marketing purposes. You are trying to look good. That is why Carl's Jr. hired Paris Hilton to scarf down a burger, and did not simply use of the people I see waddling in and out of Carl's Jr. every day. If you are going to put your stallion up in a fugly nylon halter with a mane that hasn't been combed since 2003 and his eyes closed, you might as well just not do it at all.

WTF? Is this like some cracked-out person's idea of an art project? It's not a fence. It's kind of just a big accident involving lots of stitches waiting to happen.

Hey, I'm not saying everybody needs white vinyl fence, but the last time I fenced - which was not long ago - t-posts were $3, hot tape was $29 a roll and I think the t-post caps were about $8 a bag. You are not going to go broke putting up safer fence. It is not all that hard to do. Again, get off your butts and clean up your scary, unsafe horse properties!

Finally, the Irresponsible Breeding Sweepstakes for today...hell maybe for the YEAR...goes to this ad:

"I am looking for ANY breed w/good confirmation stud, to breed to my mare, yes even donkeys. hehe. I just want a foal in the barn. dosnt matter what cross breed. my mare is a AQH. ponies, anything. just anything $50-150 dollar stud fee. my mare can come to you, or your stallion can come to us and we would pay the days your stallion is at the barn. probly a couple of days. please I would like to breed her before the middle of september. thanks so much. ANY BREED WELCOME. just good conformation. thanks. Wilton, ME"

If you want a foal in the barn, go to your local slaughter auction. I am sure there will be one available for $25 or less. Probably a selection. I suspect you are too dumb to own and train a foal, but I would still rather have you do that than just breed your mare to ANYTHING...and for an August foal, dear God, my head hurts...