Monday, February 9, 2009

This is just a, more like a nightmare!

Before I even start, NO HATE MAIL as I'm going to assume today's posting will lead to a desire to extract some of these horses from their situation. Whether you hate me personally or not, please think of the horses' best interests and refrain from hate mailing the owner. Trust me, your hot air would be wasted anyway, looking at this.

I've observed before that pretty much any time you find keywords like "dream, fantasy, magical or mystical" in a farm name, what you're going to see is a thoughtless breeding or incompetent riding program that sprung from the horsey dreams of a 12 year old girl who apparently stopped maturing mentally long before puberty set in and still thinks anything with a long mane or spots is BYOOTIFUL! Today's featured ranch is no exception.

I've also observed that I don't have a problem with someone both breeding horses and rescuing horses, assuming they are breeding high quality horses. In small animal rescue, it's normal for the top breeders to run the breed rescue efforts and I see no reason to discourage that in large animal rescue. However, when I see a rescue that proudly proclaims "meet the breeders" and then I see something like this, oh lady, you are SO making the Fugly blog!

Holy shit! It's the Humpback of Nevada! This hideously malformed mare is at a so-called rescue in Pahrump (love that Rump is in the name since the folks running this clusterfuck are clearly horses' asses) called Dream Chaser. I don't know what kind of dreams YOU have if this is a broodmare in them, but all I have to say is y'all better lay off the hard stuff before bed!

Here's another of their broodmares. While this is the best of the three (scary but true), click to enlarge to see her scary hooves. When was the last time they bothered with a hoof trim? She's also a pretty good anatomy lesson - I can count every single rib!

What happened to her tail? Was it lopped off for slaughter a few years ago? Wouldn't surprise me. Repeat after me..."riding quality." This mare is riding quality. She deserves a good home, but should not be making more of herself!

Here we go, I found a pic with Debbie, the proprietor of Mutant Acres. Is this fugly colt a new rescue? Nope, it's one of her sale horses. Probably a homebred! Not only is this a crappy quality colt who'd sell for a whopping $75 at our local sales, but she didn't even try to clean him up for the pic - he's covered in caked on manure from lying down in filth. LOVELY. Debbie, waddle your lazy butt over and pick up a fucking currycomb or a hose before you take pictures of horses that you are trying to sell! Trust me, the exercise won't kill you and you can DVR "General Hospital" for later. I know, I know, it's hard to wait an hour or two to find out the latest with Sonny and Carly, but you are the one who chose to have twenty horses in your backyard.

The one thing ol' Debbie DOES have time for is making the most elaborate donations page I have EVER seen on a web site. Though I question if anybody is using it, because every single rescue horse looks like shit! Yes, we all take them IN looking like this, but there are no "after" pictures showing ANY improvement, ANYWHERE on her site so I can only assume they CONTINUE to look like this or look like this after months or years in her care. Poor old Charlie...he really wants a home with someone who can afford feed!

(P.S. I think Tanacity is an OTTB and he would like someone to get him the hell out of there! Could he be Tenacity (2002)? The color and gender match...if so that's a well bred horse that slipped through the cracks!)

Sheesh. Enough already. Paging animal control! Debbie, you need to stop making fuglies and leave the rescuing to people who know how to care for them. What a complete and utter disaster!

The non-negotiable elements of a good rescue web page:

1. BEFORE and AFTER! Show your results! Frequent pictures! We want to see what the horses look like NOW, not in 2006. I am so sick of excuses...if you are all that computer illiterate, have a link to a Photobucket with the newer pics. Anyone can master Photobucket. Really.

2. If you are going to breed, your breeding operation must prove all the more that it is a high quality operation... i.e. clean horses, well posed, pedigrees posted, evidence that you are actively riding, training and showing easily accessible. Most people I know who both breed and rescue have two different sites and I highly recommend that.

3. Clean up your damn facility. It shouldn't look like Shantytown from GWTW.

4. Clean up your damn horses, trim their damn feet and get some quality pictures if you are actually trying to sell them or adopt them out. It doesn't take an expert. There are tons of resources online explaining how to take a good picture of a horse.

5. Happy endings and adoption stories...also not negotiable. No adoption stories is pretty much a big banner saying HI, MY NAME IS SUZY HOARDER! The best is when you have pics of your adopted horses being ridden by their adopters. When Joe at TB Friends puts up a show pic of a former TB friends horse, that illustrates that you can obtain a show quality horse there - and drives adopters to him. That's smart rescuing.

*sigh* OK, anybody local who can investigate this further? If those are the pics she puts up, I shudder to think what they look like now...