Everybody still got some of that brain bleach on hand?

ABC news story about the alleged theft of Capone I.

"the local sheriff's office has not yet determined whether a crime was committed and even suggested it might know the location of the horse. "

ROTFL. Run, Forrest, Run!

Whoever has this horse and is keeping him away from Pervy McPervert, you win the FHOTD Medal of Honor!

P.S. Doug, since I know you're reading, I have been "outspoken, controversial and acerbic" too, and it does not result in people alleging I have sex with animals. THAT ONLY HAPPENS TO YOU, and it's because you were a dumbass and posted all over the net about your activities, in disgustingly graphic detail, with far too much identifiable information making it easy to prove you were, indeed, "Fausty." Not to mention that telltale I.P. snail trail...Oh, and the affiliation with Fier D'etre Zoo that you put on your Zoom Info page is awesome, too. For those who aren't bilingual in French, that phrase translates as "Trust to be Zoo." Yeah. No shit. You freak.

Doubles as lawn furniture!

Just add a couple of stools on each side, and the whole family can enjoy a picnic lunch off of this mare's perfectly flat back!

Yes, it's an APHA mare.

Yes, it's pregnant.

Yes, I'm sure that's because it's a Kool Kolor.

And no, I don't know what kind of an idiot uses a rope halter for turn-out. I guess the same kind that breeds a mare with this conformation!

Actually, the same idiot that writes - swallow what you are drinking first, I think I just hurt myself - "Foal will be illegible for APHA Breeders Trust."

Here's another member of their broodmare band. When I talk about a bad shoulder, this is what I am talking about. Damn thing is practically vertical. This conformation doesn't make for a comfortable ride, and it predisposes the horse to lamenesses like navicular. I wish I had a closer shot but I think those feet are as small as they look which isn't going to help her stay sound, either. There is absolutely no reason to ever breed this mare. They say she is quiet and should make a good kids' horse - GREAT. Please do that with her. ONLY THAT. Then maybe you'll even be able to sell her for more than "$1000 obo." (Yes, she's on the For Sale Page.)

As I've said a million times, a pretty color or pattern is great - as the icing on the cake AFTER you already have correct conformation, good disposition and athletic ability. If you start with that and only that, these two mares above are classic examples of what you get. You're not improving the breed. You're merely reproducing defective animals that won't hold up in the long run, and I do not care how pretty and sweet you think they are.

I think I just had a nightmare before bed!

Or at least a nightfilly!

""DEE" 2007 Cremello filly. Great conformation. She is ready to show in halter! AQHA and Palomino. Sonny Dee Bar/Zapp Deck breeding. Very nice filly, nice head. Cremellos produce 100% color, palominos and buckskins. Priced to sell! Others also for sale, lessons and training available Call Cris for more information 749-0287"

Sonny Dee Bar is spinning in his grave and denying he had anything to do with this with all the fervor of a Maury show guest who is sure he's NOT the baby daddy!

OK, seriously. How can you look at this animal and type the phrase "great conformation?" I know it's a bad picture but it's not like there's a way to stand this filly up where she is going to look a whole hell of a lot better. She's just got that FrankenHorse look all over. Nothing flows together. Nice head? Nice head? WHERE?

And again, absolutely NO effort made at presentation. Presentation counts. It truly does.

Let me give you a little example here. This is a three year old APHA filly who is in, to say the least, an awkward growth stage. But how much better does she look on the right? Only days have passed between these pictures, but she's posed better in the second pic, she's been cleaned up and her mane shortened, the picture is from a little better angle, and the saddle makes her look more compact and athletic. Which horse would you rather buy?

Now I'm not sure anything is going to make that cremello filly look better, but I guess it'd be an interesting challenge for a good photographer! (But can we spay her first? Pleeeeease? I am horrified at the thought of her producing more Kolored Krap.)

Gah....I'm trying to read my e-mail and am definitely going to have nightmares! Check out this video - fugly filly, being ridden as a YEARLING (and yes, you are right, it really IS May and there's no way this is much older than 12 months) by a small child who also crawls underneath her! The best part is their disclaimer that all of this is OK because they are professionals. Professional asshats, apparently! Didja get a degree in that?

Look at our cover boy!

Petersburg Knight ("Colin") made the cover of The Horse!

A big thank you to Pat Raia and Erin Ryder for helping to get the word out and warn even more horse owners about how to ensure their horse does NOT become a sandwich!

The reason you can't sell horses - IT'S NOT THE MARKET!

Boy is this blog entry overdue...

All over the 'net, I read the whining about the terrible, terrible state of the horse market. While there is some truth to it (I do think people are downsizing their overall numbers due to the cost of hay), at the same time I see tons of people looking for competition horses who can't find what they are looking for. These people have cash in hand, ready to buy - and they can't find what they want. Meanwhile, plenty of what people don't want is going to slaughter.

It doesn't take Einstein to figure out how to fix this situation, folks.

Here is what I see a lively market for:

1. Show and competition horses ready to show and compete with. They are not green. They don't need finishing. They don't have weird quirks. They already have some kind of record at what they do. They're sound or have very manageable issues.

2. Excellent quality young stock and green prospects for some kind of competitive discipline. A word about this: Quality is not enough if you want the high prices. Presentation counts, too! A colt that is a $2000 colt standing shaggy and dirty in the pasture can easily be a $5000 colt standing bathed and clipped and presented in a pretty show halter in your barn. If you can't be bothered to get off your butt and do the work to make your horse look great, I have no sympathy for you when he sells far under value. Hell, if you were selling a car, you'd wash it, but I see horse sellers all the time drag these muddy horses with burrs in their tails out to show to someone. What is that? If you don't care, why should a buyer?

I don't see much of a market for anything else. Need a bombproof oldie for a kid? Hell, they are everywhere and you won't have to pay money for them. I've seen horses with unbelievable killer show records free in the past year or two due to having some kind of soundness issue. If you can handle a little corrective shoeing, supplements and Legend/Adequan, you can pretty much bring home a ROM pleasure horse for your kid to show 4-H on for cheap to free. It's just the way things are right now. People will kill for a good home for these horses. If you have that to offer, you hold the cards.

Now let's say you think you have a horse who fits into category #1 or #2 - and he's not moving. I'm going to share an unpleasant truth with you, and some of you are not going to like it. Either:

1. Something YOU are doing is the problem (poor presentation, your marketing campaign is all wrong, etc.) or...

2. Your horse is not as good as you think he is. This runs the gamut from he's simply overpriced to he's actually not a horse there is a market for, period.

Last year, I had two horses for sale. One was a large pony I was selling for a friend. She was grade (strike one) and older (strike two) and swaybacked (FAR bigger of a strike than I could imagine!). But hey, she was idiot proof to ride, 100% sound sound sound, didn't need shoes, perfect manners and palomino! I thought for sure I could get her sold. Good God, what a nightmare...I wasted more time e-mailing back and forth with time-wasters and looky-lous. I heard tons of misconceptions about the effect of a swayback on usability. (I mean, we are talking about a large pony that I would not have sold to someone over 150 lbs in the first place.) She did eventually go to a little blonde girl (they match beautifully, ha ha).

Part of the problem with selling a low-end horse is you get a lot of low-end buyers. They don't know a lot about horses. They are easily scared off by issues that an experienced person would think nothing of. They believe all the stuff Uncle Charley the horse dealer told them about horses. It is a frustrating experience for all concerned. However, it's also a good illustration of a horse that honestly shouldn't have been bred in the first place. She was a pretty color, but she was grade, fugly, and although well trained for a specific discipline (youth gaming), she had enough strikes against her to be hard to sell.

Let's contrast that with a horse I picked up off the track about a year and a half ago. He had a suspensory injury, but he was sound and he was absolutely beautiful. Nicely put together and with a big splash of white on the end of his nose. He just screamed cute. I picked him up, rested him and handed him over to a pal with a h/j barn for retraining. Just months later, he was resold for five times his purchase price to a wonderful home with an amateur owner. A lot of credit must go to the trainer who got him going quietly over fences, but I guarantee you that his attractive appearance and super cute face were equally important factors. He had all of the elements he needed to sell to a good home for a good price. The "bad market" did not seem to affect his sale a bit, did it?

That's because there is no bad market for super pretty, show quality horses with great dispositions. If you are one of those sitting around saying nothing's selling, nothing's selling, nothing's selling...it's time to reevaluate. Maybe you truly aren't breeding something there's a market for. Maybe you've dropped the ball on training. Maybe you've dropped the ball on presentation. But something is wrong and just as with ANY business, if sales are down, it's your job to figure out why and take steps to fix it. Maybe you need to buy a video camera. Maybe you need to pay someone to ride your horses who rides better than you do and can make them look more impressive. Maybe you need to board your horse at a facility where buyers can try him out in an indoor arena and there's an indoor hot water wash rack to clean him up for them. Maybe your prices are unreasonable. Maybe you need to drag him to a show and get him seen/get show video of him. There are a lot of things you can do other than sit at home and whine about the market if you really want to sell that horse.

For discussion purposes: If you typically sell horses, what was your highest/fastest selling and lowest selling (or just won't move, you can't rid of it for anything) horse in the past year? Basic description, factors that you think influenced marketability? Let's define what there IS a market for!

All right everybody - it's Friday and you know what we do on Friday! Today's Friday Featured Rescue is Snuggles who is in the care of Saddlebred Rescue, Inc. of Blairstown, New Jersey. I have mentioned before that I think this rescue is doing a great job, and I will repeat that. Their horses are fat, shiny, groomed and RIDDEN. Repeat, RIDDEN. I was surfing around for a rescue to feature and do you know how many I had to nix because y'all have got like 22 adult horses that are only halter broke up for adoption? Sorry, I am not going to plug them for you 'til you get them broke and useful. If you're the rescuer, this is your job (or pay someone else to do it). No more warehousing!

OK, back to Snuggles. They found this beautiful older gentleman at an auction headed nowhere good. From their site: "If any one remembers I wrote about going to the sale and picking up two Christ bought for us. Pat noticed what looked like two more saddlebreds standing in a back pen, well one WAS a saddlebred and it was this horse. This gelding never backed and ear and seemed to be sending me messages to take him. When I went in the pen I could tell his tail had been in a set and one look at his teeth I knew he would be making a one way trip to Europe through Canada. I figured we already did not have room for the two we were picking up so we might has well not have room for three. Right? My salemate will for sure understand that logic. This is the exact kind of horse that haunts my dreams, an older horse that has worked all his life and has no where else to go when he can no long stand up to the road work."

I hear you, I feel the same way! Snuggles has turned out to be super well trained and it looks to me like he could easily re-enter the show ring for a young saddleseat rider who wants a solid mount. (Emotional outburst: Look at the cute EARS! I want to kiss them!) If you are interested, please contact Saddlebred Rescue.

All right everybody - enjoy your long weekend and your horses!

Back to doing what we do best here at FHOTD...

Before I even begin, look here, Appy people, I don't hate them all. Hell I am pretty sure I own one (solid, grade but stripey feet and appy characteristics). I just hate that people produce tons of the fugly no-hipped wonders with stick tails and hammerheads and then don't train them to do a damn thing. If you'd like to argue that there's a market for them, why are all of this person's on sale at Blue Light Special prices? $800 for a foal and you can make payments!



You know why? BECAUSE ALMOST NOBODY THINKS THIS (see left) IS CUTE! Good Lord. That's face only a mother could love, and I'm not 100% sure about that.


Now, you MUST hear the description of this LOVELY creature that you can have for the low, low price of $500. This is everything I object to about backyard breeding, all in one place!

"SHE IS NOT BROKE TO RIDE BUT SHE IS BUILT FOR BARREL RACING. SHE IS WILD. SHE HAS BEEN FED AND WORMED REGULARLY IN HER FEED. HER FEET ARE NOT IN THAT BAD OF SHAPE CONSIDERING UNABLE TO CATCH FOR FERRIER. SHE WAS BRED TO OUR RED DUN STALLION, HEZA DUN LEGEND FOR SPRING 2008 AND SHE FOALED A BEAUTIFUL BUCKSKIN APPY FILLY THAT DIED BEFORE WE GOT HOME TO REMOVE THE SACK OFF OF HER FACE ON 3/1/08. SHE HAD LOTS OF MILK AND THREW A FIT WHEN WE DRAGGED HER BABY OUT SO SHE WOULD DEFINITELY BE A GOOD MOMMY. "


Holy living shit, where do I even begin? How did you discern she was a barrel prospect, because she runs like a bat out of hell any time you try to catch her? She's five years old, you admit she has NEVER had her feet done, you CANNOT catch her, so I'm guessing NO shots, NO vet care, but somehow it was a good idea to BREED her and then what do you know the baby died (how the Hell could you have helped the baby anyway with the mare this wild? Do you think Spotty WildAss would have been thrilled with that?) but hey it's OK 'cause you're BREEDING HER BACK! Hey, flip a coin, maybe this one will live! And breeding will settle her down, you know. At least we thought so last year but then we still couldn't catch her...hmmm. Maybe she needs to carry, like, twins, which I am sure will happen since god knows she'd kick the vet all the way to Nebraska if he tried to ultrasound her.

Oh, and in case you are being charitable and thinking that perhaps they recently acquired this mare and she's a rescue or has some other reason for being unhandled, um, no.

"SHE WAS BORN HERE, TIME JUST GOT AWAY FROM US WITH HIP SURGERIES, BUILDING A HOUSE, ETC. "

Did the house fall from the f'ing SKY like in The Wizard of Oz????? I suspect you knew in advance you were building a house. Why did you breed more than you could handle when you knew that? Excuses excuses excuses. You can afford to build a house but you cannot afford to hire some teenager to work with your foals? Give me a break.


Were you wondering what Ugly Betty up there is bred to? Here you go! He has all of the usual characteristics of a BYB's "Herd Sire." Let's see, he's nothing special in terms of conformation, mediocre pedigree (half of it's good, half of it's nothing special), and of course he's been breeding mares left and right without having ever actually accomplished a damn thing beyond impregnation in his life. Of course, I will say it's not exactly his fault - check out their tale of trying to break him out.





"SO FAR, HE'S JUST GREEN BROKE. I RODE HIM OUT IN AN OPEN PASTURE WITH MARES ON BOTH SIDES AND IT WAS ONLY THE 3RD TIME HE'D EVER BEEN SAT ON. HE WENT ALONG JUST FINE EXCEPT HE REARED UP AND STOOD THERE LOOKING AROUND (NEVER MOVED OUT OF HIS REAR TRACKS!) IT SEEMED LIKE 5 MINUTES BEING IN THE AIR. HIM AND I HAD A WHOLE CONVERSATION WHILE UP THERE-HA! FINALLY, HE DROPPED BACK DOWN AND WE CONTINUED RIDING FOR A FEW MINUTES. "





Man, do I feel GOOD about my "bad ride" yesterday which consisted of two "stopping and growing roots" incidents. At least MY three year old AQHA stallion does not think he is a f'ing Lippizan. And if he ever DID rear, I would not be laughing and thinking it was kyooot. Lord almighty, how DO these people reach adulthood?




I know a lot of you love it when I give you a clear example of conformation faults. Today we have post legs...and do we ever. See how the back legs are nearly straight up and down? Those legs scream "uncomfortable to ride" and "hock arthritis," and indeed the site says that they have "decided to keep for broodmare-due to hock issues..."


*headdesk* Her front pasterns are too upright also. To me, she even looks as though she is standing like things hurt, and have been hurting for a long time. I will bet those f'ed up hocks feel even better carrying a few hundred pounds of foal!



Where did I find this classic example of everything BYBesque? Why, over in the lovely land of HorseDopia, of course! Yup, everybody tells this chick how great her horses are, too! Just like our friend Missa from the other day! We may be "mean," but they're encouraging bad breeding and poor broodmare and foal care (there's also a great story from this dingbat about her losing a foal to joint ill...of course no mention of the VET being called) and breeding stuff you can't even ride...you know, I'd rather be mean than encourage irresponsibility that leads to suffering and death for horses.

And the video is up...

http://www.king5.com/topstories/stories/NW_052108WAB_soldier_horse_slaughter_KC.1866d2a6.html

Fabulous, fabulous job by Linda Byron of getting all of the facts out there. Now the public has both been warned about MeSue and warned about the fact that horses are still being sold for slaughter in the U.S. That should prove to be a really valuable wake up call - at least for those in the area.

I also heard the story was on the radio here today!