Sorry for no post yesterday but it's been a busy weekend. Saturday, several friends and I decided it was "let's take some rescues to their first horse show" day. We all lived but we learned that (a) herdbound Ay-rab mares get kind of excited at their first show, and will nicker nonstop to their friends in the same class, (b) there ain't no way to "trot the edge off" a little hot potato Doc's Prescription bred mare (and attempting to do so makes your hamstrings and calves really sore the next day when you haven't ridden all winter except twice), (c) little girls' legs are no match for rotund Thellwell-esque 25 year old ponies who are stuck in "park," though satanic growling from adults in the vicinity seems to effect movement, and (d) you'll be really happy you're on that hot potato, agile little mare when the out of control, stuck in reverse horse starts flying at you in the warm-up ring and you have to get the heck out of the way quickly!
Today I rode the 22 year old rescue stallion from this post, and he was just great. He's not quite sound at the trot behind with weight on his back (I suspect a stifle issue) but he's super quiet and should do fine with a light use home. He will come gelded. I can't say a bad thing about the horse. Great manners, docile disposition, no vices, good about everything, easy keeper. So if you could use a horse like this, and you're around the PNW, let me know!
All right, now for more of the usual craziness this blog is known for!
WORST EXAMPLE OF A PERFECT CHILD'S HORSE PROSPECT: (My comments in BLUE)
I Am The Perfect Child's Horse For You!
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Date: 2007-11-26, 1:04AM
I am KhinKhade. I am a beautiful pure-bred arabian yearling stud that would love to grow up with your child! I can just see it now...I can teach your child what it is like to be nipped, kicked and run over - since children are so good at teaching good manners to yearling stud colts! I LOVE kids, love getting scratched (I even lean into it like a hapless puppy!) That'll be fun when I'm 1,000 lbs. I am VERY sweet and VERY calm! My granddaddies and grandmas are really well known horses. Not that my dipshit owner can name them. Ibn something, ya know. I have been DNA'ed so you can be sure I have great bloodlines. Since DNA testing relates to quality breeding! I am only 14.5 hands high right now and my owners don't know how to measure horses, but I will get a little bigger. I am searching for my child-friend to grow up with and love forever! I have kids around me all the time and absolutely LOVE them! But I am still searching for that special child to love and give piggy-back rides to. :) If you want me to be a baby for your baby please give me a good home. I will forever be loyal and kind as long as you keep scratching me and loving me! PS: I would make a GREAT Christmas gift and perfect child's horse! Did I mention I love kids yet? :) Here are a few pictures of me, one where I'm getting my favorite scratches. My owner would like to get $900 for me, but if you love me enough, she will negotiate with you! OK, I know you all have saccharine poisoning right now, but shake your heads and look at this again. Good GOD, could she try harder to place her yearling STALLION with a child? In what universe would that EVER be a good idea? Ack! What a LOON! Unfortunately I did not get the pics of Prince Cutesey Pie as the CL ad had expired. I'm sure they were just priceless.
IT IS A HORSE, NOT A FUCKING CLOWN CAR!
You guys have seen me go ballistic on things like this before, simply because 4 riders comprising TOO MUCH WEIGHT is actually even WORSE than 1 rider comprising TOO MUCH WEIGHT. But this deserves special mention because (a) they think they are a "rescue" and (b) this horse is FORTY FIVE YEARS OLD (well, allegedly, but god knows he looks every inch of it) AND BLIND.
FUCKTARDS. The only weight that needs to be on this horse is MORE of his OWN!
PRESIDENT OF THE SPOTTED SWAYBACKED HORSE ASSOCIATION!
Do you suppose this conformation is the result of the weird desire to put fat, middle aged men on 2 year old gaited horses and ride the crap out of them? Or is it all genetic? He's only 18, he shouldn't look THIS bad!
I don't know, I just am trying to figure out what kind of animal I think this critter resembles...because I know it isn't a horse!
SCARIEST HOME OFFER EVER!!!!!
i have a duii and need a horse to ride can you help??
Reply to: email@example.com
Date: 2007-12-27, 6:50PM PST
no joke!! wayne 503-754-5992
p.s. i can take care of her /he too ;-)
*FHOTD RUNS SCREAMING FROM THIS CRAIGSLIST POSTING!!!*
WE DON'T CARE ABOUT RESPONSIBLE BREEDING AT ALL!
Make your own foal! Yup, who cares if they are a good match? Mix and match and we'll make you whatever you want! And hell, we have a damn rainbow of stallions to choose from. It's like wearing Garanimals - they all go together! (These people have some nice horses...and some not-so-nice horses...but the entire idea of letting anybody out there with cash choose who gets bred to who is just appalling to me.) I don't get it, but then again, if you look at their broodmares, I don't know how the same pair of eyes that picked out the nice Obsessed to Impress mare also thought the nasty, long backed, calf kneed aptly named Bassett (as in HOUND) mare was breeding quality. Isn't it weird when you see discrepancies like that in somebody's herd (and they're not a rescuer)?
All right, I'm beat and need to hobble off to bed on my sore, sore hamstrings...