Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Today's like Weird Inexplicable Hate Mail Day

Now I got this one, from someone named Christy Jackson. The subject line is "Horse." (Wow. Thanks. That gives me a BIG clue. If it was "Yak," at least I could narrow it down a bit!)

"It wasn't her, it was her sire, you JERK! Are you going to give the owner of the sire the $3000 dollars it takes for a 3 yr old to be nominated? As that's when she acquired the stallion. Not that idiots like you deserve an explanation."

Christy, dear? This blog has over 500 posts. I have no idea what you are talking about. Nominated for what? An Oscar? A Nobel Peace Prize? The Breeders' Cup? WTF costs $3000? I have no idea and nothing in your angry little e-mail is giving me even half a clue.

Perhaps I should publish a guide to writing effective hate mail to the Fugly blog?

1. Identify what it is you are pissed about - preferably by date and post title.

2. Identify who you are (the breeder? the trainer? the breeder's best friend from her Harlequin Romance Reading Group? a fan of HYPP H/H halter horses?)

3. Try to avoid any of the following, which tend to weaken your defense:

(a) hideous spelling
(b) hideous grammar
(c) pretending to be a lawyer
(d) pretending you have a lawyer on retainer (esp. when I can Zillow your property and see that you live in a mobile home in Missouri valued at $36,214.)
(e) saying that you can do whatever you want, this is America (really does just make you look like an asshat and embarrasses the rest of us)

Just some tips that I hope will prove helpful!