This is just awesome. It was originally written about dogs and then our friend OhForCryingOutLoud adapted it for horses. This is SO spot on! I have decorated it with some hideousness from DreamHorse. I believe the first one is actually an alpaca. :-)
6. When asked about HERDA, HYPP, OLWS or DSLD, enthusiastically point out that none of your horses show any outward signs of the disease and their parents/grandparents/siblings/aunts/uncles/cousins didn't either, so they don't require testing.
8. Confidently assure worried rescuers that no horse you produce, or any of their get or grand get or great-grandget will end up in rescues or on dinner plates or in dogfood bowls because you have a bunch of friends who have told you that they'd like a foal from your breeding program.
9. Point out that you don't need championships or working titles for your horses because you are breeding for temperament and your horses are really sweet.
12. No matter what anyone else says, claim that you obviously know what you are doing because you've been breeding for a long time (see #1). Point to the hundreds of foals you've pumped out/sold/traded/ridden over the years as proof.
13. If this is your first attempt at breeding, make sure to remind everyone that you HAVE to breed your mare because how else are you going to learn how to breed/experience foaling?
14. Assure everyone that your horse does not need to be shown because you were assured by someone at the feed store/a local show/Horsetopia/the vet's office/a friend that your horse is a perfect example of the breed.
15. Always remember that "rare" colors, oversized or undersized horses, and mixes of popular breeds are great selling points. Anyone who doesn't think so is obviously not in tune with their customers' wishes.
17. Assure everyone that your foals will not end up in rescues or slaughter houses because they are cute and well-mannered.
18. Claim that YOUR breed never ends up in rescues or slaughter houses, therefore your foals will never end up in these places.
19. If asked why you think your horses are breeding quality, point out that they have great 'confirmation' and/or a pretty color and a notable ancestor. Extra points awarded for using the term 'Foundation'. Double Extra points if they are registered with the Blue Eyed Horse Association, American Grade Horse Registry, American Trail Horse Association or any color-only association. A crap-breeding Trifecta if that is their primary registration.
21. If presented with irrefutable evidence proving you wrong on any excuses you have used, pretend your server did not receive the post/e-mail. Or, if you're a moderator on the forum, lock or remove the thread. Extra points if you ban the poster who proved you wrong.
22. If all else fails, tell everyone who criticizes you to "get a life." or to "stop being such a snob" or that you are successful breeders and know what you're doing.