Monday, December 10, 2007

The more things change, the more they stay the same

Excuses, excuses! Every breeder of crappy, unmarketable stock is chock full of excuses and rationalizations. It's a bad hay year. The pasture wasn't any good. I lost my job. I got divorced. There are a million reasons their young stock look like shit, and none, amazingly, have to do with the fact that the sire and dam are nothing special, either! Here's today's excuse:

"There is one thing that you should know - most Beau babies are slow developers and don't fully develop until between 4 - 6 years of age. Many people have informed us they sold their Beau babies as a 4 year old, fearing that they would end up with too small of a horse, only to find out a few years later that the horse ended up getting big, and being disappointed in the choice they made. By then the horse was unable to be purchased back - the current owners knew what they had!"
Yeah, okay, sunshine. Sorry, but the fact is, I've seen you in action for years. You have a dinky little chubbo of a stallion who was produced by breeding your dinky little 14.3 mare that I used to see you bop around on at the open shows 20 years ago. We couldn't damn well miss you - you were like that person who comes to the party dressed all wrong. I still remember some of your show clothes. It was like Halloween came every weekend!

Now, I see that you have evolved into a bad parent as well. I don't care how quiet you think your stallion is, your toddler doesn't need to be wrapped around his leg! Are you seriously crazy? Um, don't answer that...

And WHY do you have tons of pictures of mixed breed kittens all over your web site? Hey, Miss "Certified Equine Specialist" - is "spaying" too complicated a concept to grasp?

Apparently she has, like, seven judges' cards now. And we wonder why the industry is so effed up.

You made a valiant try here, but sadly, the grass is NOT long enough to cover up that perlino colt's crooked front legs. Not to mention the fact that your straight-shouldered, long, generally icky mare shouldn't have been bred in the first place, and is ribby and looks like crap. Apparently they did not cover nutrition for nursing mares in certified equine specialist school?

Yes, everybody here you go. Certified Equine Specialist. Level 3 Richard Shrake trainer. The future of our industry. My brain is bleeding.