She's a jumper, and her owner is a jackass!

I love Craigslist. I really would not need to search anywhere else for material for this blog. My comments in blue.

She's a Jumper!

Reply to: sale-417872936@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-09-09, 11:48AM EDT

FOR SALE; A three year old Sorrel mare and her yearling foal (WTF, back up the bus, a three year old has a yearling foal? OMG she got bred as a YEARLING? Holy shit, how ignorant are you? I think breeding 2 year olds is bad enough) are available for a qualified person who has plans to train for jumping (Yes, after that great start she had in life foaling out at age 2, your concern for her future is touching). She will be sold with foal, so this is a deal with excellent potential (...for reducing your hay bill before winter. I'm not sure what kind of deal it is for the buyer!). The foal was sired by an Appaloosa stud, and is showing early signs of being a very beautiful horse, with light "Appy" markings already visible. (Of course, there's no mention of the mare's papers so I'm guessing...none. So we have a spotted grade yearling. Refer to yesterday's post for pictures of pretty spotted grade horses that damn near wound up as steaks.) The mare is already doing some jumping on her own, practicing by clearing metre tall electric fences from a standing start. (Translation "no fence can hold her." Yep, she'll be fun to own!) The foal is watching closely, so there could well be two jumpers soon (The foal probably has the good sense to think Momma is an idiot but is amused by watching her freaked-out antics). Both horses are green broke English, on a lead, but not yet with bridle (WTF? So you're riding the yearling? *big sigh* Of course you are.) They are gentle and inquisitive by nature, well socialized both to horses and to people (I will say, it is evidence of their tolerant natures that they don't run when they see you coming!) They are hardy and healthy, showing calm dispositions if exposed to loud noises or machinery (well, hell, after all they've been through already, how scary can a tractor be?). In fact, their tendency is to run toward new things to investigate, rather than showing fear and running away (With a banner in their teeth reading "she's bat shit crazy, please buy us and get us away from here!) The mare actually comes over when she's called, which is the opposite of what I have seen with many horses....and of course the foal follows right along (Since we've never weaned him!). Both of these horses are nuzzlers and cuddlers who seek affection from humans. They will return the favour. (I am picturing unweaned yearling stud colt...'cause you just KNOW it is a stud colt!...chewing all over human beings...isn't that kyooot!) I am advertising for the owner and will screen interested replies which will be forwarded to owner. (A word of advice: You are either just as dumb as the owner or doing yourself no favors being associated with this person. I suggest you practice the "but I'm not a horseperson, I just posted what she told me to!" defense starting now.) Location is near Kitchener-Waterloo-Cambridge area, easily accessible from 401. Owner is looking for a person who can buy these horses and guarantee a loving home with experienced horsemanship to encourage them to develop into their full potential.

FHOTD back in: Experienced people are going to run screaming from the train wreck you have created: Let's review, 3 year old mare bred as a yearling, who knows how much damage that caused, no mention of height in ad - perhaps stunted by nutritional drain of foal while she was still growing?), mare cannot be kept in fence but jumps out, yearling already being ridden but not weaned, $50 says not gelded, probably nippy as all hell, and sounds like nothing is registered or registerable. Thank you for contributing to the horse overpopulation problem. Canada is building more slaughterhouses as we speak and thanks to people like you, I doubt they will have a problem finding a supply of horses to process.

*head explodes*