Go watch the Scottsdale Show live...pretty good Saturday night entertainment!
P.S. You know what, we can tell the difference between a normal, spirited halter horse and a halter horse that you beat all the time...when you pick up the whip to get their ears up and they try to sit down, it kind of tips us off that the whip has been picked up in the vicinity of their face to do something other than get their attention. Just a helpful hint!
Warning: Horses mating, possibly NSFW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EBn2AYN8nw&NR=1
Here's a video of a mini stallion running around with a lot of mini mares, full sized mares and a full sized - if thin - AQHA stallion. The big stallion breeds a mare in heat and then the mini attempts to follow suit.
The comments are just classic.
Commenter: your pal stud is thin you can see his ribs.
Response: Yeah, he's a touch thin, but you would be too if you were responsible for covering 38 mares!! He has been turned out with the herd since April.
(FHOTD note: I can't even figure out who the stallion is. No info on her web site. He might be a decent horse, but do we need 38 more of him out of their motley crew of mares? Uh, NO!)
Commenter: I have heard of mini stallions teasing mares so vigorously that they will lay down to be bred.
Response: I have wondered if that could happen! I guess that I wouldn't care, that old mare in the video is 21yrs old and she's a double bred Dash for Cash! The resulting foal would make a heck of a playday pony and it ought to have color! Actually, I wouldn't want that to happen as that would waste a whole breeding season, and that mare probably doesn't have that many babies left in her!!
(How many Dash for Cash horses do you suppose there are out there? This is a little like saying, OMG, my Thoroughbred goes back to Man O'War! It's not all that special...Though I will say, that mare is a freakin' saint, watch this one or even better this one where the kid flies off directly in front of her and she doesn't move a muscle.)
Now, if you're thinking I'm again picking on some poor little 14 year old who loves to make youtube vids and doesn't realize her parents' practices are wrong, go to the profile. Nope! This is the work of a 47 year old grandma. Check out the rest of the vids - plenty of bareheaded babies on horseback, babies running around with loose foals, the world's fugliest foal being born, children galloping that don't have the riding skills to trot safely without assistance - yes, the stupid's all there, preserved on video for your entertainment.
I just don't think this is cute. This scares the hell out of me. That kid needs to learn her absolute basics, not be trying to barrel race. As with jumping, I don't think you should be gaming until you can trot and canter without your stirrups or bareback. What's wrong with taking it slow and trying to stay out of the local E.R.? Are you gonna turn into a pumpkin if you turn 10 and haven't run a pattern yet?
C'mon, wake up and smell the coffee ... scale back the breeding and buy those kids some helmets!
You know a horse is cute when they're even cute covered in hair in the middle of winter, and this mare is a perfect example. SH Malacy is a 16 year old registered Arabian mare offered for adoption by the Midwest Equine Welfare Foundation. This mare is very well broke and has been used both on trails and in the arena. Sounds like she's sound, too! They did not get the papers with her but I assume someone willing to do the detective work might be able to get replacements - how does it work for Arabians? Can you do a replacement affidavit like you do with AQHA? At any rate, this mare is cute, cute, cute so if you're in or near Wisconsin and looking for a rescue you can ride, check her out! (Hey, someone look up the bloodlines - now I'm curious - she is REALLY cute!)
Have a great weekend all!
Your web site can say an awful lot about you and your business. That's why, many years ago, frustrated web designers created a site called Web Pages that Suck to showcase the worst of the worst out there. Today, I have to feature the equine version.
1. There is no theme here. Every single page looks different. Nothing goes together. It's the web site equivalent of a particularly bad target on "What Not To Wear," a woman who has basically purchased everything shiny in her size that has come through the Hickaloosa, Alabama Goodwill Store for the past 23 years.
2. Nothing says cheesy like animated gifs. Seriously, even 4th graders don't put those on their web pages anymore!
3. More bad photography! This stallion has some nice bloodlines and while he doesn't have a performance record due to that big ol' lump evident on his back left, I don't think he's as bad as they're making him look here. This wouldn't be a flattering picture for the most conformationally correct AQHA stallion on earth. P.S. When you 'shop out the bump on some of the pics, you should remember to take it out on all of the pics.
4. Trying to market something you know nothing about. "Sport Ponies" and "Lippizan Stallions" are two very different things. Why are the Lippizans all over your "Sport Pony" page? I guess the plus side is that if you'd taken pics of actual sport ponies to use from the web, we might be misled into believing they were ones you bred, whereas with this page, we have no confusion between which are yours and which are not.
4a. P.S., which sport do you think Elephant Leg Pony qualifies for?
4b. I am pretty sure you did not get an actual registered Welsh pony with the moniker "Ahl-dat-an-'ah-bag'ah-chips" I could be wrong, surely, but I suspect his name and that of your other pony stud, "Yo Man," came out of a case of beer, not a formal registry.
5. Strange misspelled statements that come out of nowhere. "If there not a cat, they must be a dawg" in huge letters on this stallion's page. What does that even mean?
6. That page is also a classic example of the badly sized photo. If you have photoshop, there is an option box for "constrain proportions." You need to check that. If you don't, you wind up with a picture like this one, in which poor ol' Dirty Socks seems to have been caught in a funhouse mirror.
Sometimes this is accidental, as computer illiterate horsepeople try to fumble their way through a graphics editing program. Sometimes it is deliberate, because they are trying to make their horse look like it has a huge booty when it doesn't. Either way, it is obvious and incredibly lame looking.
(Yes, everybody, seven stallions. Fenced in with hot tape. Power outages must be a good ol' time on their ranch.)
7. And twenty four broodmares including "sport pony" and "warmblood." Uh-huh. I suspect a couple of those mares are nice but it's hard to tell since so many of the pictures have been squished down so that the mare appears to be 15 hands high with the legs of a mini. As I've said with others - now is the time to improve your broodmare herd, if you must breed. Break out the mediocre ones and sell them as riders. Buy the kind of mares you can't normally afford. Upgrade, upgrade, upgrade - or get out of the breeding biz.
8. Then there's the rescue page where, unfortunately, you can't find out any information about the available horses or what they know or do. I'm glad he's anti-slaughter but if you are going to have a rescue, at least make an effort with it. Clearly you have a camera.
9. Overall page layout. On my screen, the text is actually hidden from view by the pictures on some pages. There are so many different sized monitors and screen settings out there that if you don't structure things and merely put a pic next to text, it's easy for this to happen. It's hard for someone to read your information when a picture is covering it!
10. Finally, I will say this - This guy DOES have a better grasp of horse personalities and common sense training than most people. He may be a very competent trainer. But c'mon buddy - your web site is the equivalent of business cards you wrote in crayon on the back of used greeting cards and you can't tell me all seven of those stallions need to have their nuts. The Touchdown Kid horse looks pretty nice, is N/N and actually has good feet which I don't see much in TK horses, so if you think you're a good trainer, why don't you show your stuff and get him out there doing something?
Web sites don't have to be elaborate and flashy to be done well. They don't need to be super slick and full of all the latest technology. In my surfing, I came across this very well done web site as an example. Here we have consistent design, a clean and attractive look, all of the information we are looking for on each horse, and much better pics even though some are pasture pics. They paid attention to making sure their farm was clean and well-kept when they took pictures. The design is basic - anyone could do it and maintain it - but it works. They look like professionals I'd want to buy a horse from. And I'd feel like my mare was safe if she went to their farm for breeding. The macrame hot-tape look on the other page - not so good.
Someone had a funny thread on COTH not long ago about hideous web sites. What's the worst you've seen in the horse industry? Do you finally have a nice one that you like? You're welcome to recommend companies you've had good experiences with - just like good horse trainers, they deserve the acknowledgement in an industry full of flakes.
One of my readers has a very nice horse for sale and, of course, is fielding the kind of inquiries you get from an ad online. The quality is similar to the responses you get to a personal ad online! People who don't read the ad, people who ask stupid questions (i.e. whether or not the yearling is safe for kids), and people who decide to just insult you right off the bat.
She unfortunately deleted the original e-mail that prompted this response, but I thought it was well worth posting anyway. I have deleted some information that could ID her, but this is most of it.
Dear (name of 18 year old twit):
I was weeding my way through tons of the same old ignorant, teeny-bopper ad inquiries that are loaded with poor grammar and mis-spellings, when I came across your inquiry. I am doing the footwork in selling a race horse for my father and even though I know from your inquiry that you are not even a prospect home for (Horse), I'm wasting my time to respond anyway.
The numerous questions that you have asked are for the most part normal so there is no need to apologize for the questions. However, I would like to point out that you have made numerous statements in your inquiry that are for the most part untrue or make you look like a complete jerk. I have never been so irritated, yet amused by such a naive ad inquiry and I'd like to save other sellers from the mess of an inquiry you sent me. Please read an ad thoroughly, think before you send, remove the BS, correct your grammar and mis-spellings, don't talk down to the seller, don't refer to the seller's horse as dog food, and don't make yourself sound ignorant. By doing this you'll receive much friendlier responses from already irritated sellers.
In your inquiry, you stated that you "buy horses that are usually only good for dog food and condition them". (Horse) is looking for a long-term home not someone looking to train and resell him. If you are looking to turn a profit, I'd suggest taking a look at the race track. You can get several young prospects from the track for little to nothing. (Horse's) price of $2500 is firm and I would hardly consider him "dog food".
Since you were so willing to give me information on yourself, I'd like to give you a little background on myself. (Basically, Horse's owner is a long-time industry professional who's actively involved in rescue and retraining)
In you inquiry you also stated that you "own race horses so you know how aggressive and unpredictable they can be". In my lifetime, I have met or worked with literally hundreds of STANDARDBRED race horses. Out of all of the race horses I have met, I have found ONE to be aggressive and somewhat unpredictable. It was a mare that was later found to have a serious hormonal imbalance and she was a completely different mare after she was spayed. Your statement is one of the most ignorant statements I've heard regarding race horses. In most cases, race horses have better temperaments and ground manners than your average backyard riding horse. If you have several aggressive and unpredictable Standardbreds, you are doing something wrong. (FHOTD in: AMEN! STBs are usually sweethearts!)
Thank you for your inquiry. Unfortunately, I don't believe you are the right home for (Horse). Good luck with your search!
FHOTD in: All right, so share - what is the funniest/lamest/most annoying response you've received to a horse for sale/adoption ad? I always like the "trade" offers, particularly when they want to trade you a 4 year old "prospect" who is only halter broke for your dead broke, anyone can ride horse. Sure, and while I'm at it, if I bring over a Mercedes would you swap me for that Trans-Camaro up on blocks in your yard? Really? That'd be awesome!
~~~~~
Side note: Check out the Lost Our Home Pet Foundation page. This organization seeks to help foreclosed homeowners keep or place their pets in these difficult times. What a good idea!
After a three year battle, the USDA was finally required to release pictures of horses who were injured or killed during double-decker rides to the slaughterhouse.
WARNING: Extremely graphic. Don't look if you can't handle it.
http://www.kaufmanzoning.net/foiaphotos.html
From the site: "Thirty-six months after making a Freedom of Information Request of the U.S.D.A. regarding violations of the “Commercial Transportation of Equines to Slaughter Act” at the horse slaughter plant in Fort Worth, I received the documents. Nothing could have prepared me for their content. The 906-page FOIA includes almost 500 separate photographs of severe and alarming cruelty at the plant during part of 2005. I am an exceptionally seasoned investigator but was unprepared for the very extreme level of inhumane treatment of these animals on U.S. soil."
Transporting horses in double-deckers needs to be made illegal in all states. It doesn't just happen with slaughterbound horses. I've seen bucking stock brought to rodeos in double-deckers as well.
Double-deckers are low-ceilinged and designed for cattle, pigs and other types of livestock. They were never designed for horses. The injuries seen at that link are not the least bit surprising. The amount of suffering those horses went through is unimaginable.
I'm tired of hearing that we were wrong to stop slaughter within the U.S. borders. No, instead it was a step in the right direction and now it's time to take that second step and ban transport outside of our borders which will, in itself, stop most double-decker transport. After all, nobody takes their horses to a show this way!
Click here to find out how to vote for HR 503 to ban the transport of American horses out of the country for slaughter.
Click here to read about HR 305, the Horse Transportation Safety Act of 2009 that would ban double-decker transport in ALL states. More information. This bill provides for penalties of $100 to $500 per horse for violations...now THAT will do something toward keeping our horses off of double-deckers.
You can always identify and write your representatives at this link. Please ask them to support both HR 503 and HR 305!
Remember, all that stands between your horses and a double-decker ride is one buyer who lies to you. One person who promises a good home while secretly fronting for a kill buyer. One person who seems nice, but whose reaction to falling off is to run the horse to the nearest auction. I don't care how nice your horse is, as long as this exists, any horse you sell or give away is in danger, and let's not forget the horses stolen out of people's pastures who make this trip!
If you're comfortable with allowing that risk to exist...by all means, ignore my post. Tell me that slaughter is necessary and the only way of dealing with overpopulation - since we can't possibly deal with it responsibly via gelding and euthanasia assistance programs.
Yeah. Whatever.
The rider and mother who sent this to me was appalled. So am I. Click on the picture to see a larger version of the small child/foal macrame project.
*sigh*
We all know horses can be dangerous, but weanlings and yearlings are particularly difficult to handle on the ground. They are typically big, dumb babies with hormones running wild. They nip and kick and plow each other over, and they're highly likely to do the same to any human who hasn't established respect. It's hard to establish respect when you haven't even learned your A-B-C's and are the size of Tattoo from "Fantasy Island."
Every horseperson reading this has seen an adult horse flip out over a tangled rope - whether they blew their stack because they stepped on their own dropped lead, or got a rope twisted around them, the "attack rope" is something that can send the typical horse into a bout of hysterics. Even if it's brief, someone can get badly hurt if they're not paying attention. Remember the blog about the girl who tied the lead rope around her waist?
And those are mature horses - not babies who routinely do things like grab an empty grain bag in their teeth and then spook because it is following them.
If I live to be 100, I'll never understand what possesses a parent to sit there while their kid is one hoof away from brain damage and the foals are a split-second away from rope burns at best and a broken leg or neck at worst and merrily snap pictures. I mean, we've all heard the old joke about how someone's last words are "hold my beer and watch this" but your child is in danger. If that doesn't provoke some sort of emergency response other than snapping pics, well, maybe someone can hold a fundraiser to buy you a brain.
Side note: This farm would never have gotten featured if not for this picture. Those are nice Morgans - far from fugly. Jeez, people. The blog is almost two years old. I would have thought people would be getting smart enough not to supply me with so much material by now, but nope, it just keeps on coming!
Finally, to all of our visiting trolls who don't seem to be feeling the love, I just want to thank you. In the past month, my traffic has shot skyward! The columns represent (from left to right) people, visits and page views.) We haven't seen a jump like this in a while! I'm so excited and I know that I have all of you to thank. Keep up the great work. Be sure to add this URL as often as possible to your rants, and please rant on as many different boards as possible in as many different countries as possible! 
Things that would be more humane than this bit:
1. Carrying an anchor affixed to your D-rings or horn to drop in the event of an emergency.
2. Keeping a shot of 5 cc's of Ace in your saddlebags
3. Taking vaulting lessons so that you can do an emergency dismount with ease before you hit the highway
4. Riding your horse harnessed to something twice his weight that doesn't go fast, like a particularly lethargic Clydesdale
5. Taking some fucking riding lessons so that you can get results without torturing your poor horse!
*shakes head and walks away, muttering*
