One of my readers has a very nice horse for sale and, of course, is fielding the kind of inquiries you get from an ad online. The quality is similar to the responses you get to a personal ad online! People who don't read the ad, people who ask stupid questions (i.e. whether or not the yearling is safe for kids), and people who decide to just insult you right off the bat.
She unfortunately deleted the original e-mail that prompted this response, but I thought it was well worth posting anyway. I have deleted some information that could ID her, but this is most of it.
Dear (name of 18 year old twit):
I was weeding my way through tons of the same old ignorant, teeny-bopper ad inquiries that are loaded with poor grammar and mis-spellings, when I came across your inquiry. I am doing the footwork in selling a race horse for my father and even though I know from your inquiry that you are not even a prospect home for (Horse), I'm wasting my time to respond anyway.
The numerous questions that you have asked are for the most part normal so there is no need to apologize for the questions. However, I would like to point out that you have made numerous statements in your inquiry that are for the most part untrue or make you look like a complete jerk. I have never been so irritated, yet amused by such a naive ad inquiry and I'd like to save other sellers from the mess of an inquiry you sent me. Please read an ad thoroughly, think before you send, remove the BS, correct your grammar and mis-spellings, don't talk down to the seller, don't refer to the seller's horse as dog food, and don't make yourself sound ignorant. By doing this you'll receive much friendlier responses from already irritated sellers.
In your inquiry, you stated that you "buy horses that are usually only good for dog food and condition them". (Horse) is looking for a long-term home not someone looking to train and resell him. If you are looking to turn a profit, I'd suggest taking a look at the race track. You can get several young prospects from the track for little to nothing. (Horse's) price of $2500 is firm and I would hardly consider him "dog food".
Since you were so willing to give me information on yourself, I'd like to give you a little background on myself. (Basically, Horse's owner is a long-time industry professional who's actively involved in rescue and retraining)
In you inquiry you also stated that you "own race horses so you know how aggressive and unpredictable they can be". In my lifetime, I have met or worked with literally hundreds of STANDARDBRED race horses. Out of all of the race horses I have met, I have found ONE to be aggressive and somewhat unpredictable. It was a mare that was later found to have a serious hormonal imbalance and she was a completely different mare after she was spayed. Your statement is one of the most ignorant statements I've heard regarding race horses. In most cases, race horses have better temperaments and ground manners than your average backyard riding horse. If you have several aggressive and unpredictable Standardbreds, you are doing something wrong. (FHOTD in: AMEN! STBs are usually sweethearts!)
Thank you for your inquiry. Unfortunately, I don't believe you are the right home for (Horse). Good luck with your search!
FHOTD in: All right, so share - what is the funniest/lamest/most annoying response you've received to a horse for sale/adoption ad? I always like the "trade" offers, particularly when they want to trade you a 4 year old "prospect" who is only halter broke for your dead broke, anyone can ride horse. Sure, and while I'm at it, if I bring over a Mercedes would you swap me for that Trans-Camaro up on blocks in your yard? Really? That'd be awesome!
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Side note: Check out the Lost Our Home Pet Foundation page. This organization seeks to help foreclosed homeowners keep or place their pets in these difficult times. What a good idea!
