Mexican truckers blocked by Senate...

Good news!

For those who wrote Congress and complained, it worked! This is a very positive step in curtailing the trafficking of horses across our borders to die a horrible death in Mexican slaughterhouses. If you read the TB Friends blog, you know that many of the slaughter buyers these days are illegal immigrants and killing horses is a very lucrative business that is easy to conduct under the table.

Kudos to the Senate for making the right call!

Blogging: Sometimes it is not such a good idea

Every once in a while, you come across a blog that makes you shake your head in wonder and think "you probably shouldn't have shared all that on the Internet." An alert reader sent me one in which a BYB details her backyard breederifficness in all of its glory...and it is a doozy!

Here's her stallion, who she is very very proud of. Now, what did your eye jump to first? If it wasn't the nontraditional, ha ha, attire of the "trainer," I'm guessing it was the horse's godawful crooked front end. Does he neigh or quack? Yes, he's a cute horse. He'd make a darling gelding. But of course, he isn't one. He's instead popping out so many babies that they have their own blog.

(Again, I will stop making fun of the NFQHA when it stops attracting so many backyard, color obsessed breeders like this one.)

Allow me to share her own story of Mr. I Need To Be Gelded's 2 year old year:

"As a two year old, [horse name] developed quickly, learned he was an intact stud and got all hormonal on me. Oyyyyy, Veyyyyy! He was a Mess! Although he would listen intently, he would still do things just to irritate me it seemed. Like break out and go visiting the neighborhood. And break down the fence so he could visit the mares here. He was really making things difficult and every morning, he was not where I put him at night. He learned quickly that he could take down the gate that separated him and the mares, or he'd just plow through the fence like it was a string. So the bugger got all the mares pregnant here, even one we had actually hoped he would get pregnant. [horse name]. My husbands mare that had a hard time catching and keeping. Seems she'd catch, then abort by the 5th month. So we were really surprised to learn that she was in foal at her 9th month in April of this year. "

Oh, where do I even BEGIN?

* Yes, the horse was breaking down the fence JUST TO ANNOY YOU. He must be related to that horse in Texas who gets hurt in the fence because he wants drugs! You are a moron. He was breaking down the fence because your fence sucks and he was full of hormones because you are too stupid to realize he's not breeding quality and geld him.

* So he got everything on the property pregnant? Hell, he probably got some of the neighbors' mares too. Glad you're not MY neighbor. (Isn't it amazing how fertile low quality stallions and high school boys are? It's like a cruel joke of nature.)

* You were SURPRISED to learn she was in foal at NINE MONTHS? Do you people ever call a vet? Ever? Do you think that might be a good idea when you know a stallion had been running loose? Ever hear of pregnancy checking? Ever heard of ultrasounds? I'll wait for the sequel blog, "Our Little Memorial Page for Gracie's Twin Angels." Of course you are so dumb it will probably be on Marestare for all to see, like that other dipshit this year. (Edited to add: Apparently the mare either was NOT pregnant or lost the foal by the time a vet finally did see her. Wisely, the vet told them not to try breeding her anymore. I guess that'll hold as long as the fence does!)

* Here's another brilliant thought. Did you KNOW that when mares get accidentally bred, you can call out the vet and get them a horsey abortion? It's true, you can! For those of you who think there's something morally wrong with that, most of you EAT baby animals, so don't start telling me it's not OK to terminate a mare's pregnancy a few days in.

Of course, the blog goes on to cheerfully report that the first foal was out of a grade mare. Who here is surprised? She goes on to say she wishes she had more mares JUST LIKE that one because everybody liked that baby! Well, hey, I'm sure more JUST LIKE that one are at the local auction...probably going to be selling for $50 by Christmas.

Also unsurprisingly, Breeder of the Year also thinks she is Trainer of the Year. Of course she has her young stock doing silly NH type stuff, but with the added element of danger to make it more exciting. And I quote:

"Now in this picture, I had set up some boards to similate a "bridge" of sorts. They are not nailed down, which would have been the best way to go, but it is freakin HOT out there and I was being extra lazy...At first she was tenative to put her foot on there, she'd put one up, then take it down, then the other, and so on. Each time I praised her heavily. I could see she was up to the challange and really wanted to please me, so she actually walked accross these loose boards about 5 times total. Sorry the picture isn't centered, I was tripping on one of the dang boards. LOL "

Oh yeah. LOL. That's just freaking hilarious.

Sadly, she is not alone. This is her friend's cremello stallion, which OF COURSE was left turned out with every single thing they owned (What, a young stallion will breed when you turn him out with mares? No shit! Who knew?) and now has impregnated the fugly Morgan-Percheron cross at the right, which they want to sell anyway because she is aggressive and beats the shit out of other horses (as detailed on the blog).

OK, here's a good game. Can we predict what the baby is going to look like? Well, he is cremello - so that means we are going to get a buckskin, right? He's got a straight shoulder coming from both parents. The mare has a better neck and neck attachment, but both have a low set neck so that'll be on track for sure. Baby might get daddy's "nest," I sure wouldn't be surprised. I'll predict the baby follows the parents with a short croup, goose rump and high tail set. The head is a crap shoot - he could get mom's hammerhead or dad's foundation QH head with the cute ears. Then there's the disposition question. If it's a filly, bet you anything it has the same alpha hell-beast attitude as Momma. I've seen that many times!

Guess we will have to keep reading the blog to find out the answer...of course they'll probably both make their blogs friends-only after discovering that, OMG! - Anybody on ther Internets can read what we write! Not just our friends! OMG! OMG!

Today's Mother of the Year and other tidbits!

My 18 month old baby rides my 2 year old and my unregistered 5 year old stallion!

Look, Ma! No helmet!

Look at our reiner!

Um, not so much...

Which guild is he a member of?

I have to say, this one looks sweet...hope he finds a good home.

And here we have a mask but no helmets?

Are you on your way to rob a bank on that poor overloaded pony?

17 years old and not halter broke and FREE for the taking - but of course, she's in foal!

They brag that they handle all their foals. But apparently not their mares?

We emphasize SAFETY with our riding lessons!

Yes, I can TELL by your pictures!

I actually like this Friesian cross filly (see, just when you thought I hated them all), but what is with this picture? First of all, you shouldn't be sitting on a 2 year old Friesian/draft cross at all - that's way too young - and secondly, the sort of people who buy sport horses will think you are a total idiot for sitting on anything backwards in a ball cap and barefoot. If you are trying to look like a serious breeder/trainer/whatever it is you are, that is just not the way to go about it.

The same goes for the video where you trot the same filly for the camera wearing short-shorts and flip flops. You don't have to distract the buyer into looking at your ass instead of the filly's. You only have to do that with fugly horses. You need to go talk to the dealers - they will pay you good money to ride horses at auctions dressed like that.

If by "barrel horse" you are referring to the fact that it has a barrel...

I've decided "barrel prospect" is seller-ese for anything that is fugly and moves terribly. While I only have limited and local experience with gaming events, I do understand that - as with most high performance disciplines involving swift starts, stops, and hairpin turns - you need certain conformational elements to be in place to have a winner. These would include a compact build that is not downhill, powerful chest, muscular legs, and a good shoulder. The horses shown below are not going to make good barrel horses, unless you are perhaps referring to "musical barrels."

Seriously, people. I have no evidence any of these sellers are the ones who bred these funky looking animals, but market what you've got AS what you've got. I know 12 year olds who could look at these animals and tell you they're not going to be able to get out of their own way around a barrel pattern.







"Big neck ,big body ! If you look for a built horse ,this mare it's for you !More then one month under saddle ,in training 5 days a week ,lurn fast ,can come good mountain horse.Like attention,never move when you play around ,good with feet ,load ,spray Can make good barrel horse. Confortable trot and canter, made side past and pivot ,open door , big built mare perfect for mountain trail. Mare with energy need experience rider ,good in trail."


FHOTD: OK, who is responsible for breeding this animal? She is a classic FrankenHorse...she actually has a cute head but it, sadly, is attached to a short stumpy neck and withers that look like a camel's hump. And this seller thinks she would make a good barrel horse? If by "barrel horse," you mean "shaped like a barrel," then perhaps he is on target. She is obese, straight in the shoulder and has almost no muscular development in her legs. I googled the phone number in the ad and apparently English is their second language, so I guess we should cut them some slack on the ad content and I don't think they bred her because they appear to be dealers - but she is NOT a barrel horse. Let us fervently hope someone does not buy this mare and think she should be bred because she has spots.

Here we go again. As unathletic under saddle as I suspect mare #1 to be, mare #2 might be worse. Here we have a straight shoulder, she's super long, she's cowhocked, she has a heavy, low set neck, and I'm pretty sure she toes out in front too. It's not all the way she's standing. Yet her ad brags "She has not been worked with at all and is selling as a broodmare but is sound and would be a really good barrel horse." They also note that "She has a slight hernia but it could be since she's heavy in foal." Oh yay, this conformational marvel is in the middle of reproducing herself (for a late summer foal - who does that? In CANADA?) AND she has a hernia. I'm not used to seeing hernias on adult horses, because everybody I know actually gets them repaired when the horse is a baby. Therefore I can't tell you exactly what happens when you breed a mare with a hernia and her belly is stretched like that, but I would be interested to hear stories from others if they've seen this.






Ha, ha! This mare is not at all fugly, she's quite cute, but I know exactly why she is listed as a "barrel prospect." It is the same reason she is listed as an "endurance prospect." Both of these are seller-ese for "we can't slow her type-A furry little butt down and we doubt you can either, but we're going to try to convince you that you have a use for a teenaged hotheaded mare, 'cause we sure as hell don't want to feed this thing through one more winter!" First of all, I don't care how many times you read "The Black Stallion" where Shetan outruns everything, that ain't real life. The only way an Arabian is going to outrun a TB or a QH is if your race is 25 miles long through the desert. It isn't even going to come close during 20 or less seconds of barrel pattern. It's not built to get up to top speed that quickly (regardless how it may feel when it sees a carnivorous, Arabian-eating squirrel and does a 180 and takes off running...they never seem to accomplish the same level of acceleration from a deliberate cue). And it can't dig down around a barrel the way the good ones do - invariably, when you photograph an Arab running barrels, it looks like this and this. Secondly, the hot blooded breeds typically lose their brains if you game them. Yes, I know I will get 35 comments from people who have totally calm Arab or TB gamers, but that is not the norm. Most of them get brain fried and sour in about 3 seconds flat and start doing things like refusing to enter the arena and rearing. Whereas you will meet plenty of stock breed horses who walk into the arena calmly, run the pattern, and walk out calmly the second the rider says ho and drops the reins. Go look at a list of barrel horses for sale if you don't believe me. See any hot bloods there? (While you're at it, look at the pictures. There is a very consistent conformation type - heavy muscled, broad chested, big hip, compact - that runs the competitive times. It is not just training that gets you in the money.)

Yes, I know that you see Arabs running barrels in 4-H. I've also seen a Quarter Horse going saddleseat in 4-H. You see a lot of amusing stuff in 4-H! Which is fine, it's supposed to be a fun thing for kids to do and a way to get show experience on anything that whinnies that you have access to (although you always have 1 or 2 kids whose parents bought them a $20,000 horse and a $5,000 saddle...for god's sake go do novice youth at the QH shows if you have that kind of money and leave 4-H for the kids riding a $500 horse with a pink cordura saddle. But I digress...)

The point I was making is that not everything is a barrel prospect just because (a) it likes to go fast (b) you can't stop it and it has scared the bloody hell out of you or (c) it is too unattractive and/or moves too badly for any sort of pleasure class. Putting horses like the above up for sale as "barrel prospects" is kind of like going on Match.com and telling everybody you compete in triathlons even though you happen to be 5'3 and 250 lbs. It kills your credibility and attracts traffic to your listing that would never actually be interested. As with most things - just be honest. If you don't know anything about a discipline, how can you say your horse is a prospect for that discipline?

And stop breeding unbroke, badly conformed mares that "haven't been worked with at all." STOP IT!

More of your horses!

More of your horses and their stories today! (Yes, I am busy - a regular post is coming tomorrow)

"Here is a picture of my well-loved, kinda fugly, 19 year old, Arabian mare, "Izzy." Izzy was given to me (free) a few years ago when Izzy's owner injured herself and could no longer ride. To her owner's great credit, she did an interview and home check first and rechecked on us a month later. I have to say her owner was also the first person I have ever gotten a horse from, free or purchased, who had complete documentation showing the horse's health history. Why is that so hard for most people??
According to Izzy's health records her tail is short because part of it had to be amputated. A tail wrap was pulled tight by a horse in an adjoining stall and it cut off the circulation to part of her tail. Also, according to her records, she was bred twice. I tracked down one of her colts and noted that he had the same unfortunate neck-to-withers attachment. Apparently over Izzy's career she has been used for western pleasure, jumping and dressage, among other endeavors that she is not particularly built for given her slightly downhill build. Now Izzy has mild arthritis in her front legs. Go figure. She stumbles occasionally when ridden, so is relegated to slowly walking around the neighborhood, carrying my poorly dressed self. That she is not running away from me is a testament to her kind nature. (And no, that is not my fence behind me.)"

FHOTD: While I think she's a cute mare who looks great for her age, I agree that she didn't have the right conformation for jumping and it probably did predispose her toward some arthritis as she aged. If you look, this is a good example of a horse who isn't just downhill but her hocks are quite a bit higher than her knees, which tends to throw weight to the front end and increases the risk of stumbling. She is in absolutely textbook perfect condition. Not fat, not thin - just right.

Love this one - very funky conformation but in show-ring condition. Great job!

"This is Galen. He is a TWH. Easily the Fugliest horse currently residing on the family ranch. And no I didn't actually pay any money for him. He was free. A mercy rescue. He had a date with the vet for euthanasia and I got him for free. He is the poster child for "some people are too ignorant to own horses". I'm not sure how many nitwits owned him, butI know that there were at least two in a row, the one I got him from and the one they got him from...no telling how far that little conga line went back in his past. He also did not come with the name Galen. No, this 16.2 hh of half-horse half-giraffe with an anxienty disorder came with the oh so original name of"Thunder". He was renamed Galen before he got off the trailer...if anyone ever needed a new name with a new "vibe" it was this guy. To say that he came with some "issues" would be a gross understatement. He was a mental train wreck, and his motto seemed to be "It's every horse for himself, you can't count on these humans, save yourself" or "Run away, run away". He got turned out with the other geldings when he got here and was allowed to just mellow out, then just proper handling and he is pretty well "cured". He was obviously owned initially by someone that knew what they were doing, all his basic groundwork skills are intact and normal. How about the butt on him? Not to mention the calf-knees and out-behind. You can hang a coat on his hipbones regardless of how fat he is. And no amount of fat will cover the point (literally) of his croup. He's becoming a trail horse, he will got through,over, under whatever you point him at, as long as his rider/handler knows what they are doing. He's such a doofus, you really feel sorry for him having drawn a bad hand there for a while."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random bits of stupid from around the net:

Grade Friesian Mare/Wonderful Family Horse, $5,500,Mare, Black, Age: 6, 17.2H, Miss Camel is a wonderful grade Friesian mare. She has a great temperament and loves attention. She is calm and easy to handle. Her only fault is she has a "Roach back". Vet has cleared her for riding bareback or with saddle. She is bred to Registered Friesian for '08 foal. Miss Camel is all black.

FHOTD: Wow. Where do I even begin? Grade with a roach back and you're breeding it and you want $5500 for it? What the hell are you smoking? "Miss Camel," oh yeah, that's just freaking adorable. Come over here so I can slap you upside your stupid head. And who is the stallion owner that was willing to breed their stallion to the grade humpback whale? Shame, shame, shame!

horse drown wagon rides for hire
Reply to: comm-417924458@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-09-09, 9:53AM
We have draft horses that been doing this all there life and waiting to meet you and give us a call to hire your own wagon horse rides you seen then at fairs and paraides and know see then at you front door get up close and personal with these huge horses. so if you want a ride give us a call

FHOTD in: Holy shit, throw the poor things a life preserver, they're drowning! *shakes head* Good grief. I suppose I should give them credit for trying to make some hay money, but I just can't get past the spelling.

Now for any of you ladies who are worried about feeding your horses what with the cost of hay and all, one enterprising hay grower has come up with a solution for you!

HAY for MASSAGE
Reply to: sale-417243945@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-09-08, 10:54AM
Hello i have some great hay and need some great Massages!! Female clients ONLY Send a pic or great discription. Discounts will also be given to nudity. Flashes etc.!!! LOL I am very tall and handsome. Delivery is avaliable. Looking for Mature ladies as well as late 20s i am 35yrs and over 6'

Discounts for nudity! Don't all swarm the poor guy at once now! :-)

Gotta love Craigslist.

I <3 my Fugly Horse!

I said I'd do this and today's the day. I asked my readers for submissions of their own, much-loved fugly horses (or just non-breeding quality horses!) and their stories. Enjoy!

"I've attached two photos of my husband's horse. The one where he is facing forward is a photo taken when we went out to look at him. You can see the horrible shape of his feet and the fact that they are severely pigeon-toed. The one from the side is after he was at our place for a couple months.

The people we got him from said he was a 4 year old they rescued from auction over 6 months prior. They claimed they spent so much on feed and since he was just a rescue they did not want to waste more money to get his feet done. Our vet said he was more like 2 at the time. He will never be sound for anything but light riding which is very sad for one so young."

FHOTD: Yeah, those people who had him? Classic b.s. rescuers who want to talk about how wonderful they think they are for saving him from the auction. Listen up America: You DID NOT rescue a horse if you dragged it home from an auction and let it sit with feet like this. DO NOT try to rescue horses if you are going to bitch about the cost of feed and trimming, or not do it because of the expense. The person who sent this to me is the horse's rescuer - she rescued him from YOU. He certainly looks better in every way now.

This cracked me up. This girl reads the blog so much she's already drawn the lines on her own horse, and she's evaluated him very honestly. As she notes, he is a bit back at the knee, he is on the long side, and he does have a short neck. I'd say he's a great example of having some faults that would make him not a breeding stallion prospect (and yes, he is a gelding!) but not bad enough faults anywhere that I would be at all worried about his ability to work for a living and stay sound doing it.

And indeed, he is doing very well, as you can see! He is an unregistered Percheron who is darn lucky some dingbat didn't snap him up to sire "sport horses." Instead, his owner purchased him to be a trail horse but it soon became apparent he was every bit as capable of doing much more as the Thoroughbreds she had been riding. And so she has a pure Percheron eventer!

She also makes the EXCELLENT point that conditioning and proper hoof trimming can make a huge difference for a horse. As evidence - his "before" picture is below. He wasn't underweight there, but look how much prettier he is with muscle on (above) and feet trimmed to the proper angles.

He really looks like a different horse now than he did back then. Look how much better the topline looks in the top shot, now that he is fit. I find that many, many riders still do not understand proper conditioning and the role it plays in keeping a horse healthy, sound and well behaved (yes, that too!) I will have to address that topic one of these days.

Good job on this boy, all the way around!

I just love this one.

"Here is my fugly horse, she is no longer with us, I had to have her put down a year ago in March, she was 38 years old and I had her for 30 years.This picture was taken in November the year before she died.
I bought her as an eight year old from an old horse dealer when I first got into horses. He honestly told me she had heaves but was beginner safe and since he knew she wasn't sound but I could take her to learn on and
then to bring her back at the end of summer and he would buy her back and he would
ship her. As you can see that never happened.
She was the sweetest mare alive and kids loved her and she loved them. She was
responsible for teaching three generations of some families to ride. She also worked in a therapy riding center before she retired. I moved to town and she lived out her life at a friend's farm, where the woman's grandchildren
and my honorary grandson lightly rode up to a year before her death. Although she doesn't look like it here she received excellent care to the end of her life. FHOTD in: Are you nuts? For 37 she looks SPECTACULAR!
During hot weather she spent most of her time standing in front of a fan in the barn. She lived the last few years on equine senior, and when my friend called and said Lady was down and it was time, I went out to find my friend had her lying a big pile of straw while she sat beside her comforting her until the vet got there to put her down. She was buried on my friend's farm.

FHOTD: OK, re-read that last story. THAT IS GOOD HORSE CARE. THAT IS RESPONSIBLE OWNERSHIP. No, it is not cheap to keep a horse until age 38. It is not cheap to feed an old horse with no teeth a pelleted feed for two full years. But this owner got it right. Not only did she rescue this mare 30 years ago, but it was a real rescue - a permanent rescue. That mare never had to worry again.

The owner never dropped the ball, not once, and I'm guessing if we ask her that in those 30 years, she had the same sort of problems any of us have in our life. I'm guessing there were times money was tight. Or there was drama in her personal life. Or she was unemployed. Or she was stressed out about something and caring for this mare was one more responsibility. But she never took the easy way out.

The last time I was at an auction, I saw an old horse that looked almost exactly like this one. I think it sold for $35. I kept walking by its stall and apologizing all night, because I knew I couldn't afford to bring one home for myself (I was there shopping with/for a friend and she needed a resale project). I'm so glad this old girl never had to know that kind of an ending and instead went with peace and love. She will never know the fate she missed at age 8, and I really think that's as beautiful a thing as you can do in this life.

More of your much loved fuglies tomorrow, I need to go ride before it gets dark out!

All kinds of assorted silly stuff

It's Friday afternoon. You weren't really working anyway, were you?

Pony with gender issues

You may recall my earlier statement about horse breeders with unicorns on their main page
Check out the pedigree on the stallion with tassels all down his face.

Yet more inability to set boundaries (in video!)


It is a good idea to learn to ride before you try to jump (video)






Is this here the church with the drive thru weddin' chapel? Mah future husbind is rite behind me on his single footin' homogygous rabicano stalyun.















And if anyone can explain ANY of this to me...including why we have a picnic table somewhere other than a Parelli exhibition...I'm all ears.