There are simply no words...

Before I address our topic of today, a $58,000 sterile Gypsy Vanner stallion, I want to point out that I have purchased a small horse farm on 5 acres with a house for $67,000 and, while it was not exactly Southfork, it was a hell of a lot better use of that kind of money that this critter would be to anyone. Seriously, if you are dumb enough to fall for this and have this kind of cash to spend, come sit next to me. OK, I'm kidding, but at least I'd spend it rescuing sweet old Thoroughbred mares and that would at least be useful.

Text of the ad: "Arkan was purchased from Black Forest Shires and Gypsy Horses. Arkan is Sterile and son of Lion King. He has never settled a mare and no proof exists of his fertility. The price is negotiable and includes loss of income from 4 gypsy mares that he was unable to breed. "

Um, sir? First of all, this sounds like a you have a lawsuit with Black Forest Shires and Gypsy Horses. Why would you think you should pass that expense on to a potential buyer? Loss of use, are you on crack?

Second, did you not get the memo about how people in the horse business typically lose money? Especially when they pay too much money for a stallion without bothering to fertility test him. Not that I think the Earth needs to be populated with shaggy legged colored cobs, but if I were going to pay some ri-fucking-diculous amount of money for one, I would damn well make sure he wasn't sterile first. Did you find out if he had foals on the ground or you just merrily signed a ginormous check because he was REALLY hairy and that's just nifty?

But hey, forget trying to go after the seller (other than talking smack about them on Equinehits: memo to you, No One Cares), let's just try to get someone buy the world's most overpriced gelding.

(Has anyone here read this Cali Canberra novel "Trading Paper?" I just started it and it's a thinly disguised account of the sale of NH Love Potion in the 1980s Arabian world. Was that really the story, some dumb rich guy who got bamboozled into signing a contract for $2.4 million for a mare? I'm sure we have some Arabian insiders here, fill me in. Although really that should be another post because I heard how that mare ended up and it pisses me off big-time. I met that mare, by the way. She licked my hand when I was 15. Your trivia for the day.)

But his horses are all pedigreed!

I thought about this guest blog today because the guy sitting next to me at computer training said his brother in North Dakota can't sell any horses right now even though they're all "pedigreed Quarter Horses!" I pointed out to him that AQHA papered horses are approximately as common as mosquitoes and the low end is not selling. Not in North Dakota, not in Florida, not in California, not anywhere.

A friend of mine has a great expression to describe alot of the pedigrees we see among the fuglies online...she says they are by Truck out of Town. Meaning, their only likely destination is that double-decker parked behind the local auction house that they load in the dead of night. Sadly, this is true. As we've discussed before, the low end horse market is dead. People are still buying quality show horses, but those people want certain bloodlines that are proven to win.

So now, without further preface, here's another guest blog by Forthefutureofthebreed.

Since we found out earlier that horses are “by” stallions and “out of” mares, let’s explore how to look at and read a pedigree correctly. If the pedigrees on some of those free online pedigree sites are any indication of their author’s knowledge, this information is of paramount importance. Proper pedigree format and terminology is not breed-specific.

First, before we get into the boring stuff – It is essential that if you’re doing any sort of pedigree research, or documenting their bloodlines in any way, the horses’ names MUST BE SPELLED CORRECTLY. Don’t put an apostrophe or an “s” where there isn’t one. It just screws things up for everyone else. Many times, just an apostrophe or an “s” in the name is the only thing that separates two entirely different horses. If you can’t spell the names correctly (as they are documented by the breed associations), you probably shouldn’t be messing around with pedigrees - at least, not anywhere where someone else is going to refer to your work.

In this illustration, you will find a 4-generation pedigree. (That would be the subject horse PLUS four generations of ancestors.) No, the subject horse doesn’t count as a generation, contrary to what the foundation Quarter Horse and foundation Appaloosa “registries” will have you believing. If, for example, you WERE to count the subject horse as a generation, would that make the dam the “first dam in the second generation”? And the grand dam would be “the second dam in the third generation”? How confusing is that? The DAM is the FIRST DAM in the FIRST generation. The fourth dam is the fourth mare back on the mare line in the fourth generation. (That would be INFRA RED in the pedigree shown). It’s so much easier to understand when used correctly.

In most accepted pedigree formats, the sire is always shown on the top half of any pair; the dam is on the bottom. That’s easy enough to remember, for obvious reasons. Sometimes you will find pedigrees showing the opposite, or a pedigree that goes to the left instead of the right. Whatever…as long as you are proficient in reading a pedigree and are familiar with the names, I guess you can read it that way, too, although the above pedigree is the standard, accepted international format for pedigrees. Pedigrees have been formatted this way for many centuries worldwide. The ones who had the money (and the education) that bred the high class horses, were usually the ones who got it right. We probably should pay attention and not change it to suit our silly preferences. You can’t change who the ancestors are anyway, no matter how you format a pedigree.

Within each pedigree are sections, called “quadrants”. If you were to separate each quadrant, you could isolate and look at the pedigree of each of those horses in those quadrants. Each section can be divided equally, all the way back. You can divide the pedigree in half, then divide those two sections in half, etc. In this pedigree, the quadrants would be NASRULLAH, LALUN, PRINCEQUILLO and VIRGINIA WATER. You can see two generations of ancestors on each of THOSE horses. (I don’t see “three” generations of ancestors behind them, do you?) I don’t know about you, but when I ask for a 4-generation pedigree, I want to see four generations of ancestors I didn’t know about, not three. So we do not count the subject horse as a generation.

Since the number of horses double in each generation going back, the numbers are equal - meaning they can be divided in half infinitely as you go further back. For example, there are 2 horses in the first generation, 4 horses in the second generation, 8 horses in the third generation, 16 horses in the fourth generation, and so on. (There are a total of 30 ancestors in a 4-generation pedigree; there are 62 ancestors in a 5-generation pedigree; 126 ancestors in a 6-generation pedigree; 510 ancestors are in an 8-generation pedigree; there are 2,046 ancestors in a 10-generation pedigree; there are 8,190 ancestors in a 12-generation pedigree. A 20-generation pedigree has 2,097,182 ancestors! We must keep in mind, though, that many of those ancestors are the same horses.

When calculating blood percentages (such as for one of the foundation QH or Appy registries), you will see a pedigree chart illustrated as 50% for each parent, 25% for each grandparent, 12.5% for each great-grandparent, 6.25% for the great-great grandparents, etc. Each horse, in each generation, does not represent equal INFLUENCE on the subject horse. For example, in the above pedigree, BIMELECH and INFRA RED do not equal 6.25% each in influence on the subject horse. Infra Red probably DOES has more influence, if a genetic test could prove that. (It sort of HAS been proven, with the recent MtDNA studies on Thoroughbred mare families).

In the Thoroughbred pedigree at left, there is no inbreeding/linebreeding (duplicated ancestors or common ancestors) in four generations. The possibility of duplicate ancestors within the NEXT couple of generations after that is quite high, and it increases as you go further back. Thoroughbreds rarely show a lack of inbreeding/linebreeding within the first 6 generations of their pedigrees, and they rarely have any linebreeding/inbreeding within the first three generations. One look at the pedigree of Mill Reef further back, we find many duplicated ancestors. The sire of MUMTAZ MAHAL, and the sire of the sire of INFRA RED is The Tetrarch. QUICKLY’S dam is also by a son of The Tetrarch. That is three crosses to The Tetrarch in 7 generations. In this particular pedigree, there are 157 crosses to Pocahontas, the highest number of duplication in 12 generations of any ancestor in this pedigree. Next is Touchstone, at 150 crosses, Stockwell at 140, and so on.
The sire, the sire’s sire (grandsire), the grandsire’s sire (great grandsire), etc. on back along the very top of the pedigree, is called the TAIL MALE LINE, SIRE LINE or MALE LINE. On the bottom side of the pedigree, the dam’s dam (granddam or 2nd dam), the granddam’s dam (great granddam or 3rd dam), etc. on back along the very bottom side of the pedigree, is called the TAIL FEMALE LINE, FEMALE LINE, or MARE LINE. Each horse in the pedigree also has a tail male and tail female line if you looked at their pedigrees individually.

Many breeds consider the influence of the female line to be greater than any other lines in the pedigree. Many breeders will tell you that the dam influences her foal to a greater extent than the sire, in most cases, and that influence can be as high as 85%. Some sires can be dominant, but mostly it’s the mares. In most prominent sale catalogs for Thoroughbreds and Quarter Horses, for example, the female line and its performance and produce are given priority and take up most of the catalog page (see illustration). The difference in prices realized between two horses going through that sale (who might even have the same sire), can be huge, depending on how successful the mare line is. An obscure, unsuccessful mare line will usually continue to produce nothing (regardless of the sires they are bred to), whereas a successful mare line will usually continue to produce successful horses.
Reading a sale catalog page is pretty self-explanatory if you read enough of them, are familiar with your breed, and know the horses in the pedigrees. Usually, a 3-generation pedigree is given, a little blurb on the sire of the horse selling, and then as much information that will fit is given on the female line of the horse. If the female line was a good one, sometimes only one or two dams are shown so their best performers and producers can be highlighted. I’ve seen poor quality mare lines in a sale catalog, going back 6 generations of females, looking for something decent to highlight in that family. The highest quality foals are always shown. On this catalog page for a running Quarter Horse, note that there are three foals listed under the first dam, yet she produced 7 foals (including the one selling). Those three foals (all half-siblings to the horse going through the sale) are her best three. Note that it mentions at the 2nd dam that she’s a half-sister to BUZZ TE and SUMPIN SILLY. Rita Seis, Buzz Te and Sumpin Silly all share the same dam, but have different sires. (I looked them up). They are HALF-SIBLINGS. If the compiler of the catalog were to use half-siblings to mean “same sires”, there wouldn’t be room to list even the best ones. Buzz Te’s sire is Easy Jet. Easy Jet sired 2,505 foals! Which ones would you identify as Buzz Te’s “half-siblings” if you believe half-siblings mean they share the same sire? Since Buzz Te and Rita Seis share the same dam, now that is telling us something. Rita Seis is a big time mare, and a half-sibling to her tells us a lot about that half-sibling.

The BLACK TYPE (bold type) indicates horses who have achieved higher levels of success. All bold caps denote horses who were stakes winners; lower case bold indicates horses who were stakes-placed. In other breeds, the black type indicates other levels of achievement such as AQHA Champion, ROM, Superior Event, and others. The more black type, the better quality the family is. The colt going through this sale is out of a mare whose full sister is one heck of a producer. This is good. While his dam didn’t produce any black type foals (yet), HER dam sure did.
Back to pedigree characteristics…There are other features of a pedigree that could give us a clue about the quality of the subject horse. Aside from the obvious successful or famous horses in a pedigree as opposed to poor quality ancestors no one has ever heard of, the SIBLING RELATIONSHIPS are important. These are the duplicated ancestors and their full and half-siblings. This can intensify the influence of that particular blood. It might be something you want, and it might be something you want to stay away from, depending on the success of those horses and your preferences. For example, those of you who hate IMPRESSIVE in a QH pedigree might want to also steer clear of any horses in a pedigree who were SIBLINGS to Impressive. (You need to know your pedigrees in order to spot them). Siblings are not equal. They may share the same parents, but they are not equal, in phenotype, performance or production ability (but they can be similar), so that’s another thing to keep in mind. Unsuccessful siblings to successful horses are also not recommended. They didn’t do well themselves, and probably don’t have the genetic strength to pass on their good breeding. There are exceptions, but not many.
Another important aspect of a horse’s pedigree chart is the positions of certain ancestors in that pedigree. For example, you wouldn’t want a stallion sired by a horse that is a known, successful sire of broodmares, but doesn’t have any good siring sons. Likewise, you wouldn’t want a mare whose sire isn’t known to sire good daughters. These are “ingredients” of a pedigree that can be analyzed throughout the whole bloodline; as far back as you want to research. You don’t have to be a breeder to know your pedigrees. When you are well-versed in the bloodlines of your breed, you are able to analyze a prospect’s pedigree well, with knowledgeable insight into the potential of that horse. Knowing this, it is easy to see why a horse with a pedigree full of obscure, do-nothing horses (his genotype) most likely is NOT going to have the ability to perform at high levels or produce anything of real quality. His “phenotype” (conformation and class) will confirm that.

With “ancestral influence” in mind, we can see that a 43.5% Poco Bueno “blood percentage” doesn’t mean a whole lot (other than the horse needs to be tested for HERDA). Linebreeding to one ancestor does not equal a quality individual, nor does it mean a whole lot if all of those crosses are through SONS of one particular ancestor. A pedigree needs be BALANCED in order to be improved upon and predictable, which means any siblings in the pedigree should be of opposite sex, distributed equally throughout the pedigree among all quadrants, and not all clumped together in one area of the horse’s chart. Linebreeding methods of breeding are used to set a type, or at least, maintain a type, but it can only be predictable when using sons AND daughters of certain ancestors. Take a look at any Hank Wiescamp pedigree (whose horses were virtual cookie cutters), and you will see that he linebred to stallions AND mares equally.

Pedigrees are only a small part of knowing horses, breeding them, showing them, etc. Pedigrees are the only tool we have that we have some control over, and there are documented records to draw from. Check out some of the pedigrees of proven horses, and you will find successful ancestors, and lots of sibling relationships in the pedigree, (even if they’re 12 generations back). We can’t always predict the outcome of a mating, but we CAN give the potential foal the best chance at having a quality life if that foal is born from quality individuals and successful, quality ancestors.

Conversations with the vampire...er, kill buyer

So, yesterday was a typical Adventure in Horse Rescue. It began with the alarm going off at 4 AM and trying to get out the door to wake up the horses and feed them. As I opened the door, the barn cat rocketed in like a furry black missile, causing me to dive after him while simultaneously attempting to make no noise that would set off the three large dog-shaped alarm clocks and wake up the completely innocent non-rescuer type person sleeping on the couch.




Believe it or not, I actually accomplished this, and also accomplished getting 200 miles away to pay for the elusive Futlooseanfancyfree mare from last week's auction, who had been spotted the previous night by an alert friend, who unfortunately was not an alert friend in possession of $350 or a paypal card. While I did not have any spare cash either, I did have a paypal card, and another rescuer kind enough to send money to it, so off I went to save the Way Too Nice To Can mare.



(I confess. I'm a bad rescuer. I don't think all horses are equal and beautiful. I do think some horses are Too Nice To Can and for others it is unfortunate and cruel, and I wish they'd have been euthanized instead if there was no home for them, and I wish slaughter by the current methods was illegal, but I am not sorry they are out of the gene pool. Yes, I know, this is against the Rescue Oath and I'm going to Hell now, but at least I am honest about it.)

We finally got there and Ole's assistant cheerfully led us to the pen where they'd separated out the mare. Only, it wasn't the mare. It was a big fugly flaxen chestnut mare that looked nothing like our mare. "Oh shit," she said, "I was afraid of that. We loaded up in the dark last night.

Argh! 4 hours drive and no mare? Did we just miss her by 10 hours? I began asking if there was any way at all to pull a mare off that truck once it got started. I said I could probably hop online and get someone to pick her up pretty much anywhere in the USA. We then began searching the pens of horses. In the last one we looked in, I saw a cluster of horses grouped around a plentiful supply of hay. I looked down and saw an old bowed tendon on the right front. Suffice it to say, I have never been so happy in my life to see a bowed tendon.



So here's the lucky girl on the left. I had to back up in a 10 x 15 pen to take this picture, so it is an example of really bad photography, but you can still see what attracted us to her. This is a big mare with a hip like a Quarter Horse, big bones, big feet and deep through the heart. Her neck is longer than it looks in the pic, and her head isn't fancy but she is still a super mare and (also important) a multiple race winner with a sweet and friendly disposition. She is just one that fell through the cracks - she got traded around a bunch lately and wound up in the wrong place at the wrong time.





I actually had a nice chat with the buyer. He says he tries to resell the ones that ride well and he works with various other resellers to do that - he has guys in various cities who put riding time on horses, fatten them up and try to resell for a profit. He did, however, and listen up, all of you crossbred breeders who think I am picking on them, say that "if a mare don't have papers, I can her." Well, yes. That is what most of these guys do. Because, for the one millionth time, there is NOWHERE NEAR the market for these horses that the delusional crossbred "sport horse" breeders seem to believe there is. Most people want to buy a good broke AQHA or Paint gelding. That is the VAST MAJORITY of the low end, under $2500, market. I don't mean "most people at YOUR barn." I mean most people who buy from auctions and horse dealers. So those of you who think your 1/4 Friesian, 1/4 Clydesdale, 1/4 Arabian and 1/4 TB is special, just so you know, you better keep her forever because Mr. Kill Buyer does not think so. A fugly AQHA mare with AQHA papers is much more likely to get on the trailer to the resale-for-riding guy than your part-draft "sport horse" is.

Now I'm going to put forth an opinion that may be unpopular (ha ha, 'cause that never happens here!) Ole or any other dealer who sells some to slaughter is not the villain here. The villain here, in this particular case, is a girl named Dawn. Dawn had this mare last, according to her papers.

Dawn has big, round, perky handwriting. It's the handwriting of a young girl. She's probably under 25, if not under 21. Dawn had written a note on the pen at Enumclaw to say that this mare rides well, trail rides, goes english, blah blah. Well, you know what Dawn? You are full of shit. This mare isn't riding sound. I can see it in the hind end when she walks. You knew that. Now, you only owned her for two months so maybe the person who sold her to you lied to you, too, but I don't care. This nice mare was pushed on a floodtide of lies down the wrong path and you, Dawn, had the chance to change that path. A little time and effort and a good pic on DreamHorse, and she would have had a broodmare home. Or you could have listed her with a rescue and tried to place her as a companion. But I guess that was too much work for you, Dawn, or maybe you just HAD to have her gone and HAD to have your $200 (shit, less than that, the auction took their cut), because you left her at the auction with no reserve and she was in the ring for maybe 30 seconds and went straight to the dealer. She didn't have a mark on her at the sale; now she has numerous little bites and scrapes from being thrown in a trailer with strange horses and then out in that pen. You, Dawn, are the one who sucks here. Slaughter isn't the problem, not really. It's irresponsible, cheap, heartless, careless and/or just plain ignorant ownership that is the problem.

Or as I like to say, the slaughter buyer is merely the garbageman. He is not the one who put the horse out with the trash.

Thanks to Marilyn of High Desert Equine Rescue in California, who fronted the cash to make sure this mare didn't become a steak. My understanding is the mare's breeder wants her back and we will be coordinating that today. I have another interested party if he doesn't want her.

When bad things happen at good barns

This isn't a post about a fugly horse, but it's certainly about some fugly people.

You sell or lease a horse, and you're as careful as you know how to be. You do a site check, or you have friends who know of the barn and the owners, and everything looks rosy - it's a fine facility full of happy and well cared for horses. So, without further worry, you send your horse off to his or her new home and wait eagerly for updates of how things are going. You are sure everything will be fine because this is a nice show barn you've sent the horse to - not some barbed-wire-surrounded shack back in the woods somewhere.


Unfortunately, just because a facility looks good, it doesn't mean it is good. I have an animal control officer friend who has told me numerous stories of successful folks with lovely farms, new aluminum trailers - and a starving horse or two out back that was bad enough to impound. In one case, the story was of an old horse whose cannon bones had come through the bottom of his feet. Usually these cases are born out of total ignorance that a horse is more complicated than buying the kids a Playstation - in that case, the owner thought that horse was "just lazy" because he was down most of the time. And while ignorance is no excuse, it is somewhat more easy to understand than when things go bad at a barn where plenty of knowledgeable people are around and yet no one says a thing.



Before I begin this post, I want to say that this case is pending. Here's the news story. Charges have been filed, but there has been no determination of guilt. I have an opinion, as I do about most things, and my opinion is that this is inexcusable. No excuse in the world will ever answer the important questions for me, which are: Why did you let it go this far? What the hell kind of an idiot lets a horse just deteriorate like this? Did you ever learn to give a shot properly? And the rest of the people at this barn...did none of you have the cojones to call the owner or Animal Control except for the one person (who was just there for a party) who FINALLY reported this to the owner? It boggles the mind.




The people in the pictures rescued her and are NOT the ones who let her get into this condition.

The person who took the pictures described her condition as follows: "Her hip was smashed. It brought tears to everyones eyes, including the vet. One of the hardest things, I have ever had to look at. The big lump on Tuna's neck, was a large abcess from a missed IV shot. What the pictures can't show you, is how Tuna was struggling to even breathe, she could be heard outside the barn." The pony was euthanized just as soon as her condition had been documented.

They go on to describe what kind of pony she was. "She was a the ultimate kids pony. She could be seen in the Children's pony division early in life, to the mini stirrup in her later years. You never had to worry about your child when they working around or riding Tuna. She had a heart of gold. She loved life, and loved the kids. She was a veteran show pony, and was winning ribbons just last year. She was the type of pony everyone hopes their kids learn on."

Well, this is the end she came to, after all of those years. Her owner thought she was doing a kind thing by leasing her out to a 4 year old child who could enjoy her - and this is the end she came to, thanks to that child being surrounded by adults whose behavior is absolutely inexplicable. Did they really let this pony get this bad because they were too chicken shit to tell the owner she had been injured so severely she needed to be put down? You know, I'm always horrified by people who let horses who need to be euthanized go on too long because "it's just too upsetting for them" and various other selfish reasons, but this takes this freakin' cake. Can't wait to hear what they say in court.





Some of the (alleged, remember this is the Internet) boarders at the barn posted to this other board where it was discussed and stated they were afraid to speak up for fear Ms. Parks would throw them out of the barn. While this is a believable consequence, given her ranting and misspelled e-mails to people who gave her their 2 cents about her standard of horse care, WHY THE HELL would you WANT to stay in a barn where shit like this goes on? This may come as news but it wasn't the only barn in New Jersey. TAKE PICTURES FOR PROOF, then MOVE OUT and CALL ANIMAL CONTROL. Not that complicated.

This was sent to me by many, many people and I have waited until the charges were filed to post. I sincerely hope the book, hell, the whole library, is thrown at the worthless sack of shit "Trainer" and the either ignorant or equally worthless "Lessee." The story does serve as a great illustration of my original point though - a beautiful barn is not always the sign of a true horseman/woman, nor is a place that is shabby (but safe) a sign of a poor one.

Kudos to the person who finally reported this to the owner, to the owner for quickly taking action to end the pony's suffering, and to the people on The Outside Course message board who did everything they could to ensure that this case was not swept under the rug.

The mare from the auction...

We believe we have located the mare I posted about from the sale, and are driving out to see her/pay for her in the morning. I need a ride for her from the auction yard and a place for her to quarantine board in the Moses Lake, Washington vicinity. If you haven't done it before, this means you have a place to put the mare totally separate from any other horse, no shared fencelines, no shared water troughs, etc. as she may have been exposed to diseases at the auctions.

This is a well behaved mare (person who knows former owner described her as an extremely sweet mare who never had a crabby day) who just needs a place to go until I can get in touch with said former owner, who unfortunately I do not have a phone # for. Former owner wants this mare back, so she has a home, we're just having communication difficulties most likely caused by the fact that it's Saturday night and most normal people are out partying and are not on the Internet to receive my WE FOUND HER!!!! private messages :-)

If you are in the area and can help, please e-mail me but be sure to put QUARANTINE OFFER in big letters in the subject line as I am a million e-mails behind (it feels like).

Thanks, a better update with pictures will come if we have her safely in our possession tomorrow!

And the question of the day is...

Since I'm endlessly fascinated with the topic of how we breed horses who have the greatest chance of being kept for a lifetime by a loving owner, I'd like to hear from those of you who have "lifers." For the purposes of this post, let's say this is a horse who is 20 or older, who you have owned for over ten years, that you absolutely will not, under any circumstances, ever get rid of. This is a horse for whom you would work a second job, sell off valuables and trade in your car for a cheaper model rather than get rid of, if times were tough. I'm interested in the factors that led to that kind of loyalty from you, particularly if you - like me - have been in the horse business and bought and sold many, many horses.

1. How old were you when you got the horse, and how old was the horse?

2. What attracted you to the horse in the first place?

3. Why was the horse sold to you, and what did you pay if you are comfortable sharing?

4. What breed or combination thereof is the horse?

5. What discipline, if any, did you pursue with the horse?

6. What gender is the horse?

This is all just for my own curiosity - I'm wondering if there are any consistent patterns. I'll answer the questions myself since I have 2 sitting on retirement board that will never leave my ownership unless they outlive me. They are pictured recently - the gray is 27 and the bay is 28.

1. I was 17 when we got the gray mare, 20 when we got the bay. The gray was 5, the bay was 9.

2. The gray was beyond beautiful and I thought it was a challenge to sort her out. She and I always had the "special connection" that horsepeople talk about. The bay, I hated and thought was an unredeemable idiot and my boyfriend bought her anyway. Then she and I clicked as we went along and she wound up being one of my all time favorites. She was one of the first horses who truly taught me that idiot horses are usually just the product of idiot riders!

3. Gray: Had just broken someone's collarbone. Bay: Too much horse for 70+ year old owner, and screwed up deal to be sold to pro polo player for lots of money by slicing her fetlock open on crappy wire fence. Gray $1000, bay $1800.

4. Thoroughbreds. The gray is part Argentine which is not strictly TB...it's called an Argentine TB but it's part criollo (stock horse). Kind of like an Appendix.

5. Both played polo, were used for lessons, and jumped. The gray ran barrels and poles a bit as well. Neither one ever became safe to trail ride and no doubt would launch my butt today if I tried it. :-)

6. Mares.

All right, what about the rest of you? Who is/are your lifer/s and tell me all about why!

Perhaps a camel saddle should come with her?

First, one quick note: Please do not e-mail me until further notice. I have 528 unread e-mails. I still do not have Internet and am using a friend's computer for limited amounts of time. I am never going to get through all of these e-mails. Commenting on the blog is far more likely to get my attention at this point. Thanks for understanding!


I'm so overtired/brain dead at this point that I cannot remember if I've posted this ad before (I know I've seen it before) but I KNOW I have not posted this picture. Holy moly. OK we've found the official WORST roach back on the planet...and of course, she is in foal!

"Grade Friesian Mare/Wonderful Family Horse, $5,500, Mare, Black, Age: 6, 17.2H, Miss Camel is a wonderful grade Friesian mare. She has a great temperament and loves attention. She is calm and easy to handle. Her only fault is she has a "Roach back". Vet has cleared her for riding bareback or with saddle. She is bred to Registered Friesian for '08 foal. Miss Camel is all black. We have many horses available at all levels of training and a wide variety of types/breeds. We offer training packages and payment plans to meet every budget. We accept Credit Cards/Paypal Payments." FHOTD in: Of course you do. Hell, you'd probably swap her for two six packs, a side of beef and a wall hanging of pit bulls playing poker! P.S. The roach back is NOT her only fault. As a matter of fact, I am hard pressed to find something I like about this mare. Cover the part of the screen that has her back half on it with your hand. You still don't like her, do you? Neither do I. She looks to be back at the knee, her neck is set on high and there's no smoothness to it and that is one big honking head in comparison to the rest of her. But hey! She is only $5500. (If anybody out there would seriously consider paying that for this horse, can you just send it to me instead? I saw a whole lot of nice TB mares go to kill the other day for $200 a pop and any of them would have been a better investment that this critter.)

Folks, the reason breeds like the Friesian developed the idea of APPROVALS was to keep culls from breeding on. This mare has CULL written all over her. She may be a kind sweet horse who can hold up to light riding (beats me what you'd saddle her with, I am thinking a bareback pad is as structured as you could get) but she has absolutely no business being pregnant and you folks who orchestrated that are doing the Friesian breed NO favors.


Here's another brain donor.


"Needs New Home NOW!, $800, Mare, Chestnut, Age: 16, 15H, ASHA #121277, Foaled: 1991, **PRICE REDUCED TO $600 UNTIL 9-19-07** Mare is out in pasture, no feed!! She is losing weight, but will put it right back on. I am moving, and taking the horses with me (all the horses where I board are losing weight). Callie MUST GO NOW. Easy to handle on the ground, needs confident intermediate or better rider. She is blind in one eye, but she doesn't act like it. Price is negotiable to good home. MUST GO!"

Must sell because I am too dumb to go to the feed store! Well, I guess that is a new one.


The next one came with such a GREAT comment by the person who submitted it that I am including it (the person's comment is in blue)


Penny
Penny is a 7 year old mare who is reaady to drop a cult any day. She was breed to blizzard early may of last year, she is broke for any one to ride and guarantee a palamino colt. She has also been on many trail rides. She is 59 inches tall. Our price: $2,500.00

WHAT she's dropping a CULT! now that is a trick! Maybe next year we can breed her back for a full blown religion!


FHOTD in: Classic.

Of course, this just led me to their web site where I observed that they also have a "philly" for sale. Then I saw the picture including the flabby fishbelly white shirtless guy, and went blind.

"Tennessee philly coming a 2 year old, broke to ride and has been trail ridden many times, she is 61 inches tall. easy to get on and off of.
Our price: $1,500.00"

One wonders if she comes complete with cheese and a bun? But don't worry, if you aren't looking for a philly or a tabiano, they also have a pacafino for sale!

One thing about a skinny horse, you can see their bone structure clearly. This mare is proudly advertised as a branded Oldenburg. I'm the first to admit I don't know a lot about warmbloods and am not sure if branding has any relationship to being approved, but I know what I like and this mare isn't it. She's got bad, bad post legs, an upright shoulder, a short neck, crooked forelegs, very short croup, tail set on as high as an Arab's, she's long, weak hip, and long, weak pasterns. Yes, she also needs 200 lbs. desperately. They blame her condition on a bad lease and that may be true, but #1 why photograph her for sale before you've returned her to health and #2 this is NOT a breeding quality mare in my book. But hey, she's 5 years old and lame, so what else are they going to do with her? *headdesk*

In case there wasn't enough impulsive breeding going on, now they are selling stallion breedings on ebay.




I love this picture as it shows both questionable parenting at work ("C'mon kids, crawl under the stallion's belly for the picture, I want to PROVE how quiet he is!") and the worst possible pose for this stallion.

Um, honey, your stallion has a shitty front end. He looks like Donald Duck. He is a cute little squirt otherwise and I have no doubt he is a nice, good tempered boy - he has that tolerant look on his face (much like an old school horse) - but if you insist upon breeding your mediocre horse, which I am sure you do, try photographing him from the side next time.



It might also be good to use his registered name when advertising him and not his barn name, which is apparently the name of a greek deity that you cannot spell.

Final note: I am playing e-mail tag with the person who knows the former owner of the mare from the sale and I do not know if she got in touch with the dealer or not. You will know something when I do.