Are you smarter than a fifth grader?

I really was going to go the weekend without a new post, and then I found this web site. This is like a shrine to FHOTD. It appears to have been written by a 5th grader, and not one in the gifted & talented program.

These folks got my attention as they have been trying to offload a TB filly on Craigslist for some time now with a poorly-spelled ad that scares me. So I followed the link to their web site, and it contains nearly every single thing that will get you on FHOTD! It is almost like they were trying!

1. Horrific spelling:

Just a few examples:

Their motto, on every page: "Remeber the everlasting touch between god and every living creature." Remember 3rd grade spelling class? I am pretty sure they covered that one by then!

More examples:

"gorgous western saddle for sale"

Made me think of a girl with snakes in her hair!

"currently we only have to trainers 1. being a trainer who only finishes horses out for performance. and 2. being a full fledged certified trainer." Boy, doesn't that just inspire confidence? Oh wait, I don't know what they actually said.

2. Internet Panhandling!

"FAMOUS TOUCH FARMM is currently workin together with amber conrad of A and H horses on the rescue operation we currently do not have any rescues up for adoption or any in but we want you to please know that if you ever see a horse in need dont turn it down or turn away that is a soul that needs your help."

FHOTD in: Don't let your lack of any way to feed or care for it stop you! RESCUE RESCUE RESCUE!

"Famous Touch Farmm and A and H horses is currently in need of donations of money, hay and land to get our rescue operation going"

Money, hay and land! Well damn, I'd like some of each! Wouldn't you?

3. Questionable Sounding Accomplishments!

"A few accomplishments under our belt are National High Point in trail, reining . . we have worked with horses of all breeds for over 6years"

National High Point in WHAT association?

4. Adopting Horses out to Questionable People (AKA the homeless)

Don't even follow this link if you can't deal with gruesome stories. Basically they adopted a horse out to someone who "had been going from house to house" after suffering some unspecified tragedies, and then someone who was mad at that person came and beat it to death. Nifty. You know, they claim to have reported this to the police and it happened this year...I am fairly local to them and suspect I would NOT have missed this story in the news. Did anybody hear about this? Did it even happen?

5. Dear God, THOSE are Their Broodmares?

Just click here. Seriously. If they breed this cremello thing, I am going to stab my eyes out with a fork. The old mare could be a decent animal, hard to tell from the pics, but the bay mare is a typical example of "she's lame so let's breed her!"

P.S. HOOF CARE! HOOF CARE!




6. Professing Expertise Where None Exists

Their photography page. Oy vey.

7. Careless Horse Handling

Go look at the mares page again for a pic of the old mare grazing with her reins spilling all over behind her ears. Yep, that's a good idea.

8. Bad Parenting and A Stallion Who Should Be a Gelding!

I thought we had missed bad parenting, but then I went over to their trainer's own web site where you can see a stunningly mediocre 3 year old AQHA stallion and learn that "We have put a six year old and a two year old on him and he did very well with them (when he was two). The six year old didn't even have a saddle, halter, or anything on him... " OF COURSE YOU DID.

Oh, wait, it got better. Here's a two year old child on numerous loose horses. Is the bay the fugly stallion? I do believe it is. Seriously, I do not understand - this is an HONEST question, I'm not joking - why it is illegal to not have your kid strapped in to a car seat, yet this is OK? You know, you're not gonna fall off a CAR on your head. You're pretty damn safe in a car unless there's an accident, whereas it's obvious this child is WAY too small to even have a slight chance of staying on board in the (much more common than a car accident) event of a spook.


9. Sending a Blind Mare To The Killers!

Also from Amber the Trainer:

"She started coming up with wounds on her head, so we watched her in her stall. We noticed that she was running into the stall because she couldn't see it very well... After extensive thought, we decided that we should take her to the auction because she was becoming a danger to herself and other people. I don't know what happened to her from there though. I had a friend take her and deal with it because I couldn't bring myself to take her. I had developed a very good bond with her."

Amber, you fucking piece of spineless, penny-pinching shit. Do not pretend you "don't know what happened to her." Where the FUCK do you think your blind mare went at the auction? Where'd you take her, Chehalis? Bet you did. She went to the killers, Amber, and you know it. You sent your BLIND MARE on a double decker ride. You know goddamn well you should have euthed her.

10. Horse Death Due To Flat Out Careless, Irresponsible Shit

(Also from Amber the Trainer)

"He was in a rental trailer on his way to go on a trail ride and the trailer door flew open and he fell out because there wasn't a back guard to hold him in. He had many severe injuries on his legs and body. We ended up having to put him down because he couldn't walk around in his stall."

Here's all I have to say, directed at those of you in Western Washington State:

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SOMEONE WHO HAS ROOM GET THAT POOR THOROUGHBRED FILLY OUT OF THERE!!!!!

Best of FHOTD - Some Things Are Rare For A Reason

Don't kill me, guys, but I'm too busy on Horse Reunions to write anything original for a few days so I'm bringing back some blasts from the past. The good thing is, I know a lot of you got here more recently and haven't seen this stuff, so enjoy!

I am up to date on the breeder's list so please check it out, and please submit your information if you are a breeder who will take back any homebred of yours that is trouble. Again, this is for breeders ONLY - please wait for the main site if you are not a breeder.

---

Recently, I was pointed to the latest trendy phenomenon in the equine world - the Sorraia Mustang. This isn't your garden variety, $125 from the BLM and $42 at your local killer auction mustang. Oh no! This is a very rare sort of a mustang that traces back to a total of eleven horses that some dude on a huntin' trip met up with in 1920. From reading his account, I suspect he met up with some adult beverages first! Allow me to quote:

"in 1920, on a hunting trip in the region of Coruche, on the lower Sorraia (river), on the ‘Sesmaria’ estate, I saw a herd of ca. 30 individuals, more than half of them were light duns, some were grullas, many with superabundant stripes, and generally in all aspects absolutely wild, or primitive, as if they were a species of zebra, or a hemionus (halfass) species."

They're a half-ass species? Well hell, that certainly explains a lot. However, as a horsewoman of some decades experience, all I see here is a fugly, badly conformed and admittedly inbred horse that someone is trying to preserve. Look at the herd below. We see uniformly bad shoulders, long backs, short croups and fuuuuugly heads.

Unlike the American Warmblood Society, which embraces diversity like a bunch of university professors at a rally for Gay Left-Handed Taiwanese Victims of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (watch for a future entry on that topic), the Sorraia mustangs do have a breed standard, and thanks to all of that inbreeding, there is no deviation from it. It's just fuuuuugly and I don't see how it is structured to actually be able to do anything. (The web site shows its talent at sliding down a hill and chasing cows with a stick, both things I can accomplish with a $325 breeding stock paint from the local killer auction). But that's ok, it doesn't have to do anything. It is a rare and special breed and, much like Paris Hilton or Leona Helmsley, both of whom believe the same to be true about themselves, should therefore only have to exist and be waited upon.

"All Sorraias descend from only 11 or 12 animals that d’Andrade secured in the 1930s, and inbreeding is therefore extremely high. "

OK, so the gene pool is the size of a plastic kiddy swimmer from Wally-Mart? Why do you think this is good? If that was what your family tree looked like, you'd be appalled. (And probably cross-eyed and knock kneed to boot.)

The one question you can tell the Sorraia "preservationists" have not asked themselves is why this critter was still running wild and basically in the process of becoming extinct in the early part of the 20th century. Could it possibly be related to the fact that it's a low quality, inbred, badly put together, primitive looking horse who has no athletic ability which would warrant its upgrade to a life of Burberry-print fly masks, visits from the equine chiropractor, and Mrs. Fields' Horse Cookies?

If you don't think deliberately inbreeding wild useless creatures together with no purpose is a bad idea, I want you to imagine the results if we mated Lindsey Lohan and that moron son of Rod Stewart's who just got in trouble for assault and then mated their children together for the next 80 years. Oh hell, at least those would have better noses...

King 5 does it again!

I have to salute King 5 News again for putting animal issues front and center!

Here is the article. Yes, those lovely characters who damn near starved Ruby the Paint mare to death and were hoarding numerous other animals got featured on the news!

My favorite part of the article:

"The three people living at the home face multiple counts of animal cruelty. We wanted to talk to them, but there was so much garbage piled up we couldn't even find the front door to knock on it.

"The city dump is in better shape, bottom line," said Wanda Fuller."

THANK YOU, King 5, for again putting this kind of story front and center! This encourages neighbors who see poor conditions for animals to take the time - and perhaps the risk - to report it. We all know it's uncomfortable to actually make the report. You worry that the neighbor will find out that you're the one who did it - and a lot of these folks have guns. You worry that no action will be taken and now you're the nosy neighbor AND the animals are still starving. You may worry that perhaps you are overreacting to what you see. And by all means, if the people are reasonable and will accept your help to improve conditions for their animals, that route is a great one to take - but if you know the attitude is "just mind your own business!" - don't. The welfare of animals is everybody's business and these people would not have been brought to justice without reports from neighbors. There is no telling how many lives were saved by those reports. Congratulations to those of you who helped bring them to justice - you did good!

Repeat offenders...*sigh*

You may recall this blog with the stunning sorrel tobiano "stallion prospect" for $3000.

Well, apparently quite a drama has been going on at another message board over a teenaged AQHA stallion with heaves. Some brilliant parents bought it for their eleven year old daughter. A stallion. That's him on the left with TWO kids on him bareback, helmetless, etc. (Yes, today's theme is apparently: Really Bad Parenting 101!) Fortunately for the child, the stallion was a good-natured old soul and didn't eat her for lunch.

He did, apparently, fall down and roll over on her (I don't even want to know how that happened. That kid must have a guardian angel to have walked away from that.)

Unfortunately for the stallion, the parents had no clue about horse care and for the past couple of years, the kid continued to post pictures of the horse in increasingly poor condition, despite the best efforts of the experienced forum members to politely educate her. The forum members, correctly realizing that the child was far too young to be responsible for caring for an old horse with a serious medical condition, literally begged the kid to have her parents read the forum and learn what to do.

Their persistence paid off! After two years, the horse got moved to a boarding stable, medicated for his heaves and began gaining back all of the weight he had lost. The kid kept posting pictures, so the forum readers were able to see the progress and breathe a sigh of relief. They hadn't gelded him, but at last he was getting proper care, and the kid was on track to becoming a knowledgeable member of the horse world.

(Please note: I do not blame the kid here at all. The kid loved the horse, and was trying. The parents, however, are idiots.)

Just when things were looking better, the idiot parents sold him ('cause you know, the $285 a month board so that he could live a proper barn that took care of him was just busting the old budget). For $500. To the dim bulb with the sorrel paint colt from the post referenced above, who is now standing him at stud! Of course she is. By the way, honey, nothing says "serious equine professional" like the e-mail hunter-jumper-babe@hotmail.com. That's just special. You have a myspace with pictures of you french-kissing your female friends in bars, too, don't you? That glittery shit all over your web site is another clue, too.

Of course, HJ Babe there posted pics like these that clearly show the horse is underweight once more. You can keep weight on a horse with heaves, but it definitely requires medication/supplements and a carefully controlled diet and environment. Somehow I'm thinking he's not getting all of that TLC thrown out there with the cows. Of course, riding and breeding a horse who can't breathe is also just an EXCELLENT idea. You can see all of the pictures here. I believe that he's sweet, but he should have been a sweet gelding. Even in excellent condition, he was never breeding quality.

Here's his two year old unregistered son. Boy, nothing is as prepotent as bad conformation...you can sure tell this is old Hank's son - it has all of Hank's flaws! Straight shoulder, weak hip, post legs. Check out the hip especially...it is a duplicate of dear old dad's. Both bad. Hank has a prettier head - the mare must have really been fugly.

But hey, at least you can get him broke out...because nothing inspires confidence like a training page full of women riding with their heels up and the saddle sitting directly on the horse's withers! Good thing you also do massage, those horses are going to need it.

Then again, compared to HJ Babe's other stallion here, I have to say that old Hank is looking pretty damn impressive by comparison. Good Lord, what is this? If you tried to draw a picture of a Quarter Horse and show every single possible conformation fault, I believe this is what you'd get! Starting at the front, ugly head, big ears, short upside-down neck, straight shoulder, super long back, downhill, weak hip, sickle hocked, a belly like an old broodmare and all of the muscular development of a 300 pound lady that sits on the couch watching the soaps all day and stuffing herself full of twinkies. They claim he goes back to Rugged Lark. (Rugged Lark says he was drunk at the time and doesn't even remember the mating that led to this!)

*sigh* So we've got your typical BYB with three hideous stallions they think are just wonderful, breeding mixed breed crap out of things like a wormy looking draft cross mare they probably got from a PMU farm. And now they've got that poor old stallion. Doesn't it just seem like some horses have jinxed lives?

Project Shake-Up

Another horse lover came up with this idea, and I'm passing it along. It's easy because it just involves e-mailing. The date to do this is November 7th and I'll try to remember to repost a reminder, but I'll give you a week to do the writing.

---

Project Shake-Up

Have you ever been to a livestock auction and had a horrible experience?If you have -we invite you to join equine advocates all over America in Project Shake-Up.

Here is what it is about:

You send out your story (complete with graphic photos/if you have them)of your worst experience of equine neglect/abuse while at a livestock auction. You can also participate if you have been involved in helping a friend who had such an experience firsthand even if you did not. There are many advocates that have turned to their friends for assistance in trying to get law enforcement/A/C to these auctions to enforce the law. Because of such involvement -you will have a story to tell,too.

We are trying to get national media attention to expose the greedy,non-compassionate,and neglectful auction dealers. We want to really put the heat on them to stop all this constant equine neglect/abuse. We have been getting so many stories this past year on auction dealers selling horses that were dying,injured,starving,etc. The conditions for these animals are absolutely abominable! Stories like empty water troughs, no food provided, knee deep in manure, horses sitting out in direct 90 degree heat for weeks at a time, handlers whipping the horses, horses crying out in severe pain w/broken limbs left unattended. Dealers selling abandoned horses w/out paperwork. We wonder how many of those horses may have been stolen. No medical attention is ever administered. There are vets at some auctions there for Coggins that just turn their back on all the abuse and look the other way. Dealers hauling horses across state lines w/out coggins/health papers. Animal control officers won't even bother to come out and help,etc. The list goes on and on...

Well,now is a chance for all of us as advocates of the horse to strike back! On Friday November 7th (lucky#7) - advocates everywhere will be emailing their most horrible livestock auction experience to all 3 media news networks. We are hoping to totally bombard the national media-convincing them that there is a real crisis going on in this country with what auction dealers are allowing at their venues all across America. If enough advocates will take the time to do this -we think that even if they don't do an immediate story that it might at least pique their curiosity. That may produce a story at a later time. We invite all equine advocates everywhere to post this on your blogs,websites,forums,etc. Send this message out to anyone who might want to participate.We need everyone to have a chance at success.

All you have to do to participate is on Friday,November 7th - email in a word document your story/photos to :

Dateline NBC: dateline@nbcuni.com

ABC NIGHTLINE: nightline@abcnews.com

60Minutes: 60m@cbsnews.com

---

FHOTD back in: A focused effort like this is a great idea. I know that some of you have told me some real horror stories and of course I have seen my share as well. I wish I had photographs but it's hard to photograph at the auctions - many auctions flat out say you aren't allowed to take pictures (like Woodburn). I have seen horses so emaciated animal control should have been called for a prosecution, horses that were literally shaking all over for no apparent reason, blind horses terrified after being thrown into pens with strange horses who were attacking them, horses with heaves so bad they could hardly breathe -- the original poster is not exaggerating. These auctions are a dumping ground and the auction owners should be held responsible for contacting authorities when a horse in actionable condition is brought in. I also feel there is no excuse for auction pens not to contain clean, fresh water - how hard is it?

As I have frequently said, if you want an inventory you don't have to take care of, SELL CARS. If you choose to sell livestock, decent care is part of the deal and if you don't provide that, you should be held accountable.

A short PSA re the Fugly Blog

Parents, if your kid is reading this, you need to get some Net Nanny type software. I use the F word here pretty much daily and any cyber censoring software would almost certainly block it.

This blog is a snarky, sarcastic take on the horse world peppered with the same language as an HBO Comedy Special. If you think Sarah Silverman, for example, is inappropriate for your child to watch on TV, then I would recommend not letting your child read this blog. Really, parents, you gotta watch your kids. Don't worry about me, worry about Chester the Molester who has a Myspace where he pretends to be a 14 year old boy who looks like one of the Jonas brothers. There is a TON of software out there to help you track what your kid does on the web. BUY IT. Stop worrying about what your kid might think about backyard breeders and worry about whether or not your kid will live to see adulthood! Go read the Center for Missing and Exploited Children if you need to scare yourself into paying attention to what your kid does on the web. Statistics show ONE IN SEVEN kids get solicited for sex online. And you are worrying about the Fugly blog? You've got way worse things to worry about if you don't know what your teenage daughter is up to on the web.

I do not advise my readership to directly contact any of the breeders, trainers, owners, etc that I have featured here in a negative light and I do not do so myself, unless they directly contact me first. Any e-mail allegedly received from me that is not a response to an e-mail FROM the featured individual is a FAKE. 100% of the time. I do respond to hate mail, 'cause sometimes it's just all too entertaining to do so.

Is the Pope responsible for the wacko who shoots an abortion doctor just because the Pope decrees abortion is evil and a lot of people listen to him and value his opinion? Of course not! You cannot control people who take inappropriate actions in response to hearing or reading your opinions and beliefs. There will always be someone who misinterprets what you have to say and takes inappropriate action as a result. Remember back in the 80s when parents were arguing that Ozzy Osbourne's music made teenagers kill themselves?

An angry blog does not cause angry actions. I vent here and many horsepeople enjoy having a place to vent. It is an appropriate way to deal with the anger so many of us feel about the overbreeding of low quality horses that leads to so many dying in the slaughterhouse, horse abuse and neglect in general, and all of the things that frustrate us in the horse world. We vent and we commiserate and we support each other. In our real lives, we donate and we rescue and we take good care of our own horses and we do try to lead by example. Many of us spend time educating others and making them better riders and better horse owners.

I am an anti-slaughter advocate but for YEARS the anti-slaughter people have been screaming that there isn't a horse overpopulation problem. I used to buy into that rhetoric too and then I looked around me at the auctions and said, um, are y'all smoking crack, there IS TOO a horse overpopulation problem. But it's a specific type of horse - poorly bred, poorly conformed and poorly/un trained. That's what we have too many of. You can't end slaughter unless you dry up the supply. I'm committed to drying up the supply of horses whose highest and best use, strictly economically speaking, is as food!

Folks, I've said it before - if this blog prevents ONE horse from going to slaughter, if it gets ONE horse out of a bad situation, then as far as I'm concerned, I've done my job. I have never thought that the "style" of this blog would be everybody's cup of tea. (But what is?) I knew that enough people would relate to it that I'd probably get more readers than just my friends, but I did not in any way anticipate the way it took off.

That said, the mere fact that my traffic is as high as it is provides enough evidence for me that my writing style is effective. You know, it's like the first time you got a college professor who really got into his subject passionately and swore and ranted and had really strong opinions. Your first reaction was, OMG, did Professor Whatsit REALLY say "shit" in CLASS? OMG. OMG. But I bet you didn't sleep through his class like you did old Drone-A-Way Jones. I'm not saying anything new here. The difference is, nobody's sleeping through my lecture.

I'm not going to change the blog. I'm not going to tone it down. Want a kinder, gentler blog on these topics? WRITE ONE YOURSELF...Blogger is free! If you are offended by FHOTD, by all means, do not read it. It would be like me reading pro-slaughter propaganda - why, to piss myself off? Because I enjoy being upset? How silly. If you find the language and writing style here inappropriate for children, by all means keep your child off it. It's not Disneyland and it has never been represented as such.

Now, on to some happy news, I mentioned that I'd just found out about a daughter of Alysheba for sale for $300 from some guys who, and I quote, did not know horses were going to be this expensive to feed. The mare won $188K on the track. My friend Stephanie decided to buy her today and that mare is safe and will stay safe. Ultimately, that's the driving force of my life - preventing equine suffering. It's not being liked or popular. It's not being a good example for your kid. The first thing I do every morning is go out to the barn with a pail of steaming hot alfalfa pellet mush for my 35 year old rescue horse, who stands at the fence nickering wildly with excitement. She thinks I am the coolest person ever because I am bringing her food she can eat, after she nearly died two years ago from starvation. Now, that's an opinion I care about. She can tell me what to do and I'll do it. You two-legged folks don't stand a chance.

Nothing tastes sweeter than justice!

Out of everything I write about here, my favorite stories are the happy endings for horses, but a close second are the times I get to write and tell you that some horse abusing asshat ACTUALLY GOT PROSECUTED. This is one of those times!

Remember Ruby? Hell, how could you forget. I featured her story here after blog reader Dawn filled me in, and Katie Merwick at Second Chance Ranch graciously donated the funds to put the poor mare out of her misery.

Here's the original story of Ruby (warning, pretty graphic starvation picture). Ruby was an old APHA mare who needed to be put to sleep, but not in the way the knuckle-dragging owners were planning - just shootin' her, which I suspect would have ended up like yesterday's story about the Arabian in Bend, if not worse.

Well, Dawn didn't just say, ok, I cleaned up the mess, and drop it. Dawn went after these people with a vengeance, even though she lives in a rural county - the kind of place where all of you moan that law enforcement doesn't care, that nothing you can do gets any action taken. You know what they say about the squeaky wheel. Tonight, the Whatcom County Jail has a few new inmates! Maria Huffman and her son R. J. Huffman are cooling their heels in the pokey for second degree animal abuse. Maria's equally scummy boyfriend, Mike Wopat, must have bailed himself out because he's no longer on the list. I screen capped it in case the Huffmans' relatives pawn enough stuff to get them out.

Here's the whole story:

"As it turns out, not only were they cruel to her, but another horse that they left for dead at a friends house. Plus they were hoarding other animals at their place of residence in a TRAILER PARK. 15 starving dogs in crates, 7 cats, pigs (yes pigs), ducks, chickens, hamsters, rabbits and dozens of parrots and other birds and lord knows what else.

I don't have the exact number of dogs, cats, birds (of all species) and all the rest of the animals. It was NINE dogs though..all in crates stacked on top of each other! The Clean Air Association was out there with the raid...because the double wide trailer was so contaminated they wanted to be sure the neighbors were safe! can you imagine?? Poor animals....

They live at Tall Cedars trailer park in Ferndale WA. They have the rest of their animals on the corner of Guide Meridian and Axton Road, right across from the Guide Trading post. (locals here will know where that is) The horses and cow there look good because they are on pasture now. The spotted horse (fugly) is a STALLION and has bred all the others. That was Ruby's son...the reason they claim to have gotten rid of Ruby was because he was trying to breed her and they didn't want him to get kicked! GRRRR...."

Yes, it's another horror story - BUT THEY'RE IN JAIL! And the sheriff is committed to throwing the book at them. WOO HOO! Every time this happens, trust me, another bunch of people - everybody who knows these folks - learn that animal abuse is a crime. They learn you can't just say "but I didn't have any money" and that will get you off the hook.

Sometimes they are awful shocked to find out these facts of life. Remember Jean Elledge, the Krazy Kolor Breeder who starved numerous Arabians, Saddlebreds and crosses to death in Carnation? Original post here. I am equally pleased to announce that the Judge gave ol' Jean nine months in the slammer! He didn't buy the old lady, but I looooove them bullshit. He put the bitch behind bars!

Here's ol' Jean. Didn't miss any meals while she was starving her horses to death, did she?

From a news article:

"I'm trying myself to understand what happened," Elledge said. "I didn't see the horses starving."

Well, sweetie, you're going to have NINE MONTHS TO THINK ABOUT IT. I don't know how you could goddamn well miss THE DEAD ONE lying 20 feet from your house. Maybe you can work on your powers of observation during those NINE MONTHS IN JAIL.

The judge didn't buy any of her crap.

"In sentencing Elledge, Ramsdell referenced the quote, "the measure of a society is how it treats its weakest members," and said in this case, the weakest members were horses, dependent on Elledge."People treat their cars better than you treated these animals," Ramsdell said."

GO JUDGE RAMSDELL. And he's making her pay restitution too!

Here is his web site if you want to write him a nice thank-you note.

And the best part? She's still facing charges in Snohomish County - so she may get even more time! Ramsdell banned her from animal ownership for 5 years. Let's see Snoho up that to life.

So, two down and Dean Solomon goes to trial on November 10th. I'm trying to find out more info on that for those of you who'd like to suggest a sentence to that judge! By the way, who is Molly King? She just got a default judgment against Dean for $40,276.84. Damn. Way to go, Ms. King. Was it horse related? What'd she do to you?

Guys, I know it seems like an endless battle and like all we do is slam our heads against the wall, but the world is changing...this is an exciting time if you look at it the right way, and if you've been around long enough to remember when stuff like this never got prosecuted. For you young whippersnappers, trust me, when I was your age, this stuff never got prosecuted. You had to just about set a horse on fire in the middle of the street to get jail time for animal abuse. Starving them would NEVER have put you behind bars.

Thank you to all of the police, animal control authorities and judges who are changing the world. Thank you to all of the individuals who report abuse and neglect. Thank you to all of the rescuers who bring so many horses back from the brink of death. I love watching the change happen and am excited and hopeful every day that things are going to get so much better for horses in my lifetime than I can even imagine right now.

Asshat Alert: Bend, Oregon

You know, I don't think shooting is an unacceptable form of euthanasia. I truly have no problem with an expert shot dispatching a horse that way. But just as with hunting, once you shoot, you HAVE to kill!

http://www.ktvz.com/global/story.asp?s=9203187

Some asshat near Bend, Oregon let this 5 year old bay Arabian gelding wander away, shot in the head but not dead, with a severe leg wound, for a week until he was found. He's going to live and he's getting treatment now.

Now, I agree with the vet - the rumor mill being what it is, somebody knows whose horse this is. If you do, please contact KTVZ with your tip.

The impersonation continues

*sigh*

So I just got this from Gerry Trupia. I did not send this e-mail, of course.

---

----- Original Message -----

From: fuglyhorseoftheday

To: norcrestfarm@zoominternet.net

Sent: Thursday, September 04, 2008 7:06 AM

Subject: Re: Norcrest Farm

A person has requested that you contact them about your farm or services:
/farm/norcrest_farm.htm

Below is their contact information:

Name: fuglyhorseoftheday
Email: resqtb@yahoo.com
Phone: 330-336-3415

Comments:
you are an animal hoarder and scum of the earth. How many horses have your psychopath self starved to death. Here's a clue. If you can't fee all of them then stop getting more you dumb ass bitch. I run a blog called fuglyhorseoftheday and you get the honor of being one of the scum I out.

If you have any questions or concerns, please visit our help area at http://www.equinenow.comhttp://www.equinenow.com/help.htm

--
Equine Now

---

Equine Now, you guys need to step up your security and stop the impersonators. This is really pissing me off.

I did, however, e-mail Ms. Trupia and point out that while I did not send that e-mail, I DO think she's a hoarder and that what she did to those horses was unconscionable.

If you read this blog and you actually like it, CUT THIS SHIT OUT because if I find out who you are, you will never live it down. You should know that I am not shy in embarrassing and humiliating people who deserve it.

A better way to place a horse with no value!

I love horsepeople, because when it really gets down to it, we are coming up with solutions that will keep horses safer. Today I want to tell you all about Transition A Horse, a new website created by friends of mine. This is a site that supports responsible rehoming of horses that have little to no monetary value. You can list your horse(s) that you will give away for free, get good advice on how to screen prospective homes and download sample contracts. I know I get asked all the time about where to find a good "gift contract" -- here you go!

Remember, you cannot trust someone because they seem nice, look like Mrs. Claus, show up with their children who are excited about the horse (standard operating procedure for MANY kill buyers) or are wearing some kind of religious symbol. You must investigate and that's easy enough to do. Please take the time and effort to make sure the person picking up your horse isn't putting him right on the truck to Mexico or Canada. My best advice is: DO THE SITE CHECK. Even if it's a pain in the ass. Even if they're 100 miles away. Please, please, please do the site check. If you're dead broke and can't drive anywhere, ask here in the comments and we'll find someone to do the site check for you. 20,000 people a day read this blog - one of them lives near you and will be happy to help.

On another note, I have finally placed a search box on the blog (upper right). It works great - I typed in "striped pants" and immediately got the blog about that girl in the striped pants with the tarp on her horse's head! So when you are DYING to show someone a former FHOTD entry, now you can find it without driving yourself crazy (or e-mailing me, because I can't remember when I wrote it, either!)

URGENT: Read this if you go to the Sugarcreek Auction

Who has Fred Bauer the kill buyer's phone number?

We are trying to do an interception on a multiple race winner that sold to kill yesterday. Trying to get the breeder to step up (and I'll let you know what they do, we've got a call in to them!) but we need Fred's info handy if we get the go-ahead to proceed.

E-mail me if you have it. I am assuming if the horse just sold yesterday he isn't out of the country yet. My experience is that there is often a few days' delay during which you can still buy the horse off of them.

There are fewer panhandlers at the park in Santa Monica!

You've often heard me scoff at the ABR (Alex Brown Racing) forum because it's become such a haven for crazy hoarders and criminal scammers to bilk money out of well-meaning individuals who want to help horses. Alex continually defends shady organizations like CBER, ensuring that although we're on the same side of the slaughter debate, he and I won't be doing lunch anytime soon. He continues to let people use his forum as a great big, largely uncontrolled, beg-a-thon. I mean, it's the ABR forum that allowed Catherine Peterson to do what she did. Need I say more?

Well, they got a REALLY special newbie the other day who got all offended that people actually wanted to know more about her before sending money (kudos! you guys are learning!) and I SO enjoyed Marlifarm's response to her post that I'm going to put it here. Marli's comments are in red. They are tactful, far more tactful than I would have been, and make some really excellent points. (My less tactful comments are in blue!) In this world where just about anybody can tell you they're rescuing horses and need your donations, these are some good guidelines for questions to ask, as well as how to present yourself on the web if you are a legitimate rescue and don't want to come off sounding like another deadbeat hoarder who can't pay the light bill.

"Hello Fans of Barbaro,

We are a under construction not for profit LLC. While, we may be new to some of you, I say, "some", because, every day has the power to convince me, that, there are truly occasions, where, the world is no bigger than my backyard, we are not new to the horses, ponies, mules, no donkies yet, in need. You are not new to the plight of horses being sent to slaughter- please use some of your past experiences to fill in your Wiki- some history of yourself/farm.

We are located in Brownton, MN. We had until recently, covered all expenses with our personal funds. Our performance horses subsidized our challenged beauties. (FHOTD in: OK, I'm sorry, if you refer to rescue horses as "challenged beauties," you're kicked off MY island right there. For fuck's sake. Go back to reading your Harlequin novels!) You have not been a not for profit it's common sense to realize you have covered your horse activities with your personal funds, there are many here that own horses and are responsible as horseowners for paying for their needs. You write 'we had until recently, covered all expenses'- has something occurred to change this? You write 'our performance horses subsidized our challenged beauties'- could you please explain what this means-has it/how it has affected you?

I should like to point out, that, all the equines here, with the exception, of, 2 donated
minis, are feedlot, killpen, and 1 bid above the slaughter buyer(s),purchases. Yes, even our performance prospects. You have offered safe haven to horses that otherwise may have shipped to slaughter. Can you explain what your intentions are for these horses? Also- what do you do with your 'performance prospects'? (FHOTD in: You know, horses that could perhaps compete in some kind of performance IF someone who wasn't as lazy as us got ahold of them and actually trained them!)

We will be registered with the MN Secretary of State as, "Phoenix Farms LLC". If, all goes well and we can assume the expired .com domain you will henceforth find us simply by entering, phoenixfarms.com There is a vast amount of hosts that offer free websites (ex: freewebs/homestead/weebly to name just a few). Many that can be created very easily- perhaps you could create a free website until the domain becomes available for 'Phoenix Fams LLC'. It would immediately enable viewers a way to get to know you, a mission statement, your experience, etc.

I am at this time reaching out, and please, I do understand that we are new and untried to some of you, we can, upon, request, be referenced. Has anyone yet asked for references and have you supplied the references?

We are blessed in that we are feed, farrier, and medical supply, rich. What we could use help with is the monthly budgeted utility payment, which, serves the lights in the barn, keeps the water pump pumping, the fences charged, and very shortly here, the tank heaters heating. That payment is currently set at $225.00 due by the 5th day of each month,
payable to; Mcleod Cooperative Power 1231 Ford Ave. Glencoe, MN 55336
Phone 800-208-5950 Acct#0000125707 Contact Person/Pattie
$90.00 a month will keep the farm phone up and operating, that, we may continue to
receive and return all calls with no additional long distance fees.
payable to; EMBARQ PO BOX 3289 Huntington WV, 25702-0289 by phone 877-813-7604 ACCT#320-328-0103 355

I do not have a paypal account as yet. If, you can help, we thank you, if, you do not feel comfortable not knowing us, we do understand.

We currently have assisted 45 equines in the last 12 months, have 14 current residents, with 5 new additions coming this week. We have 2 new faces coming to be shared with us by the wonderful ladies at Great Expectations Ranch. They are currently listed on their website under rehab horses, "Pappy and Cutter". Please do take a look also under for sale, and you will find a young man named "Jericho", these are 3 of our latest additions coming on Saturday.

(FHOTD in: I hear nothing but good things about Great Expectations. Ladies, I suggest you disassociate yourself from Miss Can't Pay The Utility Bills. It doesn't look good for you.)

I am going to state my opinon here, and please understand, this is just my opinion- while it's fantastic that you are 'feed, farrier and medical supply rich', have offered safe haven and maintained 45 equines in the last 12 months, currently have 14 resident horses and are intaking an additional 5- having the ability to keep electric running and phone service is a basic first priority (I'd expect 99% of people would agree). Besides the horses do you have children- a family that needs to be supported? Are you employed? It is commendable that your heart opens your farm to horses in need however on this point I can only offer my opinion that perhaps the priority of maintaining electric on your farm and phone service should be first versus the intake of additional horses. (FHOTD in: Yeah, this dingbat was saying she'd take more horses elsewhere on the board!!!) If you cannot afford/need assistance to pay your electric bill and phone service and as a private person need to turn to the public to ask for 'help' I'm certain I cannot be the only one that's read your commentary and shook my head, and again, I'm sorry if this offends, it's really not meant to- but any logical minded person may agree that keeping the electric on and phone service is a higher priority versus intaking additional horses. I realize that your heart may be in the right place but there are other resources/outlets for the horses you are intaking and lessen the risk of jeopardizing the horses that you already own - or more importantly the need to have electric and phone service (re: emergencies) for your family (assuming you have one). Have you sought financial assistance through your community (church/gov't agencies?)

(I deleted another plug for Great Expectations here. As far as I know, they may not want anything to do with Beggin' Bertha here and I would hate for them to be tarnished unfairly by association. As I say, I've never heard a negative thing about them.)

Thank you so much and I look forward to coming to know you too as we go. Getting to know others via 'cyberspace' can lead to rewarding experiences- and on the flip side to not so positive experiences. Also the reason why better explanations, full disclosures, mission statements and complete responses when asked questions assist in formulating good cyber relationships. Whenever an individual turns to a public forum, whether non-profit or private it opens the door to many questions- and responses should be easily obtained- this also applies to your sentence below- public forum plea/public forum responses.

Please feel free to email me directly with any questions/concerns/hellos I prefer not to email privately or give out my email addy- it is also disconnected from this site as it invites too much spam to my inbox (albeit many are familiar with my addy)- a personal preference since I am a private person (not a formal rescue).
blazingrhorses@yahoo.com
The Rodacker/River Family Any chance for full name and address- would help for anyone seeking to donate/contribute.

---

FHOTD back in: Now, you guys know I can't leave well enough alone so I looked up Beggin' Bertha's phone number that she posted on her Wiki page on ABR and started researching her.

She's selling hay on Craigslist - so why can't she pay her own damn utility bills? "Alfalfa Mix and Several types of grass available. The bails are 50-70 lbs. for $3 to $5 per bail. Delivery possible for additional charge. 320-328-0103."

P.S. Honey, the word is "bales."

Here's more: "ALSO AVAILABLE: Corn, Oats & Wheat sold by the bushel. We also have Straw ! PLEASE CALL EITHER: 320-328-0103 OR CELL 507-351-5725"

So then I looked up the address she provides as the place of her rescue. It's owned by a Brian Mayrand, who tried to evict her in May for not paying her rent . Hmmm, the judgment was filed September 12th, do you think Dena is trying to get the ABR forum to fund a new place for her to live? CHOO CHOO CHOO, the train is coming down the track. Great Expectations, you ladies better expect 19 more rescue horses 'cause here it comes!

Hey, look, she was committed for being mentally ill and chemically dependent, too! What a surprise. Now we know where her money goes...

It's amazing what you find when you start doing a little research...I know somebody's going to say that's her personal life and none of my business, and I think usually that's true but when someone has been found to be an unfit caretaker of one species, I do believe that reflects on the odds that they will be a responsible horse rescuer, and that's why I'm noting it.

$10 says she photoshops her ass too... (on that topic, Dean's trial has been continued YET again...the wheels of justice are, as usual, flat.)

Things I am learning by doing the Breeder's List...

If you are going to be a rescue horse, be an Icelandic or a Norwegian Fjord or a Gotland pony! Seriously, their breeders not only want to take back their own horses, they'll take any horse of that breed. Almost without exception, in any condition, just call them! If you rescuers get one, just check the breeder's list. They're gonna arm wrestle for who gets to take that horse off your hands.

Hmmm that might just make my point once again about supply and demand...being something rare and in demand is an awfully good thing for an animal to be! You just don't see a lot of Ferraris up on blocks and getting rusty behind someone's single wide...think about that if you think it's awesome your stallion sires a hundred head a year.

Who gets the last lifeboat?

I just thought of that when I read this comment from the last post, and I think it makes a good topic for a new post on its own:

"This is going to sound really callous...but if it's going to be tight, maybe we should save the good ones first. I know the fuglies, and the old crippled mares really tug at our hearts, but what about the nice horses that are circling the drain. Horses that could possibly have a good future."

This is a good discussion topic. What do you save first?

You all know I disapprove of sinking thousands of dollars of donor money into a rescue horse with a huge problem (like a leg missing, good grief...). This is completely separate from having an emotional connection with your own horse that causes you (not donors!) to spend a huge amount of money to save it (like Barbaro). I think that's just fine. I think rescue has different rules, because you're not playing with your own money.

However, the question of old-vs-young-with-a-future is a tough one for me. When you save an old horse, you are often saving a horse who (in my opinion) deserves saving. I feel like horses "earn" a retirement through their work just as people do. I take the term "pensioner" very seriously - I think a hard-working horse absolutely deserves that paid-for retirement, like a long term employee of a company. And, from a purely dollars-and-cents standpoint, if that 25 year old doesn't adopt out, I may only have to feed it for a few years until health issues/natural causes mean it's time to say goodbye. It's not like getting stuck with a 3 year old that nobody wants, who could still be around when I'm 60.

On the other hand - as was observed - that 3 year old might be a terrific animal that adopts out quickly and goes on to be a successful show horse in no danger of ever winding up in rescue again. I've talked here about Connor, the large pony that a friend of mine saved from slaughter. Connor, thanks to his rescuer and the couple of us who rode and trained him, elevated himself in life to an A circuit barn where he still resides today. You couldn't ask for a nicer rescue result, and there are a lot of those "Cinderella" stories out there.

I guess what it comes down to for me is that you need a balance. If there are rescuers who love to save the oldies and rescuers who love to save young stock, that's the ideal. I worry a LOT about rescuers who save young stock without the ability/resources to ride and train them. I wish those folks would stick to the oldies that don't need those things.

You also need the ability to say "when" if you're going to deal with the old ones. I hate hearing about rescuers who won't put a horse to sleep until it's down and can't get up. Quality of life counts for me. A little stiff and lame, sure, but hobbling and barely able to walk? Put it to sleep, make room for another life to be saved.

But the young ones can make for hard choices, too! I have several friends who adopted rescue horses that were young and pretty and...bat shit crazy. They are all good horsepeople and they have given these horses more than a chance. They've paid for training, tried every calming supplement in the book, desensitized the horses to everything and the end result is still a horse that is intermittently explosive and dangerous as hell. Now what do you do?

Rescue is full of these tough choices. I do think that it helps to have a good eye if you're going to rescue the young ones. Picking out that diamond in the rough at the auction is effective rescuing, and there's nothing wrong with doing that. You are not a "bad rescuer" if you choose to save the pretty mover with potential. They all need saving, and that diamond, once shined up, adopts out faster and allows you to save another horse. Turnover is essential in rescue. We all have only so much space and so much money. The rescue that takes in highly desirable horses with great potential (I would point to TB Friends as an example - he gets a lot of great big, pretty Thoroughbreds with h/j or dressage potential) can turn them over fast and help more. That's why he can place a couple hundred a year. Sorry, but the typical mustang rescuer isn't placing a couple hundred a year. If you consider the number of lives saved as a measure of how successful a rescue is, then rescuing marketable type horses is definitely a consideration.

So what do YOU think? What do we save first? Can we even make those rules, or is it always going to come down to what tugs at our heartstrings in that moment at the auction? But is it irresponsible to only make decisions based upon that emotional response? Do the old ones deserve rescue more, or the young ones who have their whole lives ahead of them - but how do you provide for the ones that turn out to be unadoptable? Do you have the guts to euth if they don't get placed within a reasonable amount of time (and will the Internet rip you a new one for doing so? answer: yes).

I don't really have a hard and fast opinion on this topic, myself. I know that I like to save oldsters, but in practice I've saved about 50% of each because I know the oldsters tend to be lifers and I can only have so many lifers. I'm interested to hear what you all think.

The blue light specials are everywhere!

Much like the world of real estate right now, it's a buyer's market for horses if you have the cash in hand and can afford another. I did a little surfing tonight and was just amazed at the nice horses out there for bargain prices. I'm going to put up a few that look like fantastic deals for $1500...and some that are way overpriced at $1500, just to show you the range of what's out there.

I love this little mare. Look at those knees! Look at that expression! Don't look at the fact that her head's so high - she's being ridden with that "oh shit she's strong" un-release. I have an unfortunate picture of myself from a horseshow many years ago doing those funky chicken elbows with the un-release and that was exactly what was going through my head at the moment (actually it was oh shit, I hope you don't jump the next one and continue on over the arena fence), so I'm pretty sure I have correctly identified it here! This mare is adorable. She can jump twice that height, I'll guarantee you. She's a registered Paint and if you are not scared of a little speed, I'm betting you could take this mare and have a ball, APHA circuit or the AHSA stuff. She's young, she's ready to go, and this is a dirt cheap price, especially for Ramona, California. She just needs the right rider who likes to haul ass and jump big, and I bet you two would be a match made in Heaven. Oh, and she is started in dressage too, and did well at her first show!

Check this out - Sierra Te and Barpasser granddaughter. Not great pics but I can see how much I love the shoulder, hip and short back. And she rides. This is what I'm talking about when I tell you that you really CAN get a quality broodmare at a bargain price, so now is the time to break out and sell your mediocre broodmares as riding horses. If you are serious about breeding, breed quality. There's never been a better time to pick up much better broodmares than you could normally afford. You can get a Mercedes for the price of a Honda - be smart and do it!

Boy, here's another superstar for the price! Not only is this a finished endurance horse who has placed in numerous rides, but he's got some really nice bloodlines. He is extremely cute and looks like a great deal for someone who wants to get into endurance riding. At age 13, he has many years of endurance left in him. These endurance Arabs go on and on and on like the Energizer Bunny...I see them all the time still competing well into their 20s.

Now, here's what you don't want to spend your $1500 on...

This is a great horse for you to stare at if you suspect that wonderful condition and a shiny coat may fool your eye. I cannot fault these folks' horse care. This mare looks AWESOME. Unfortunately, she's had five foals. That's unfortunate because she is my classic example of a Frankenhorse...none of the parts fit together smoothly and they weren't any good to begin with. This is a horrible shoulder. It's nearly vertical. Combined with her downhill build, long back and halter-horse-esque tucked under hocks, I can pretty much guarantee you she rides rough and on the forehand and can't collect herself to save her life. In fact, in the inset picture, she appears to be looking around to see if her butt is still there, because it is so far away from her front end and looks like it belongs on a different horse! She may be a sweet older mare for some kid to plug down the trail on, but she should never, never, never have reproduced.

This ad makes me want to reach for the Advil.

1) I can get a broke Thoroughbred mare for free right in your neck of the woods! Why would I pay you $1500 for one that is unbroke, still underweight and appears to have one heck of a crappy upright shoulder? C'mon, do a little market research.

2) "She is also related to my best friend and her baby that died a year ago, so she has special place in my heart." WTF what? Is that baby dead? Is the picture old? Did she have two babies? Did your best friend die or was your best friend a horse? Was your best friend a human that was somehow related to a horse? I am stumped.

3) "I would like to reserve a breeding to either the mare Malekina or Scarlet (the Filly) to be able to keep an off spring of these lines since they are related to my original mare." I am still confused, but most of all, I want to know why you're even considering breeding this totally unaccomplished rescued horse, especially given that you are selling these because you cannot afford to keep them, per your OWN AD (mentioned twice!). Do you not realize that breeding makes more horses that you will ALSO not be able to afford, Sandie?

Ugh. Every time I see illogical stuff like this, it makes me more crazy. But, back to topic, there ARE some freakin' awesome horses out there for prices you'd never have bought them for a few years ago so I encourage you to go on out there and get yourself a deal if you, unlike Sandie, can afford it!

Doubting Thomases, you can kiss my you-know-what...

A long time ago, I opined on this blog (and elsewhere) that I thought a lot of breeders and former owners would be interested in taking their horses back if only they knew the horse was in trouble. I was shot down soundly by various individuals, who told me people don't give a crap, that their connection with the horse severs the moment it is out of the driveway, that breeders are in it to make a buck and the last thing they want is to take back their old broken-down horses.

Well, the Welcome Home listing, for breeders who will take back what they bred if it needs a home, has been up now for ten days and I just finished updating it. So far we have over 550 breeders representing every supposedly eeeevil element of the horse industry. TWH people. Thoroughbred racing people. American Saddlebred people. AQHA Halter Horse people. Rodeo people. You know, all of those groups that I guarantee you, someone will tell you don't give a shit about the horses, only care about the money, blah blah.

Some of them do, and some of them don't. Some of them will take back not only their own horses, but any rescue of their chosen breed in need. Some are children and grandchildren of breeders who want to ensure that none of Grandma's prized horses goes to slaughter, even though Grandma is no longer with us. Some are ex-employees of farms who want to make sure the horses are safe. Some are willing to open their doors to local rescues, and lend a hand to local horse owners who are in money trouble in these tough times. Seriously, start reading it - you'll cry. It's so great. It is truly humbling and touching to read the list and the comments from the breeders. And this is ten days out. Can you imagine how long that list is going to be in a year?

If you haven't submitted and want to, just click here. I'll type them in as fast as I can. If you have submitted, please check your listing for accuracy. I am getting old and my eyes cross after coding info on 550+ breeders in Notepad, so I do expect I've made some typos. I do know the alphabet, but I got "lost" sometimes in the file so let me know if it appears I failed my a-b-c's. If you wrote up a paragraph about how awesome your horses are and how you offer lessons, yeah, you got edited. Free advertising is limited to a link to your web site.

If you are not a breeder and just want to find a horse - hang on, please! The automated system and the main site ARE coming that will allow YOU to add all the info you want. There will be no charge to list horses. Free, free, free! (There will be advertising space for sale - details to come!) We are typing our little fingers off as fast as we can, both myself and my geeky horseloving friends north of the border!

If you appreciate what I'm doing and want to contribute toward getting that main site up faster (aka buying me some more Diet RockStar and paying for forum software and hosting that doesn't suck), I would greatly appreciate your donations - there's a Paypal link on the bottom of the main page.

I know this is going to save horses' lives. I have never been more sure of anything in my life. It is obvious to me how many people DO care and WANT to take responsibility - if only we develop a way of hooking up the horses in need with the people who once loved them. That's what I'm focusing on, 24/7, right now. I appreciate your support, whether it's a donation or all of the great e-mails I'm getting right now.

Like plaid pants on a first date...

For those of you who have not yet visited the hilarious (and very R rated) Why Women Hate Men blog, it showcases men who have managed to make the worst possible impression in their personal ads on the Web. Like these unfortunate souls, many horsepeople seem to put zero thought and effort into the way they are presenting themselves and their horses on the web...and the result makes for a lot of Fugly fodder!

Click on this ad to see a larger version. Boy, there's nothing to support a motto like "breed to the best - don't settle for less" like a couple of crappy pictures of your mud-covered young stallion in his pen with his wiener hanging all the way out. (I guess that was for the slow folks, to show what a REAL MAN he is.) This colt actually is well bred and there is a BETTER, recent picture of him on their web site. They are doing him a huge disservice by putting up the muddy pasture yak pictures. Also, he is two years old and they need to stop breeding him until he actually accomplishes something, and by the way, given that he's a Sir Cool Skip grandson, I'd like to know his HYPP status, wouldn't you? Stop worrying about the pearl gene and start worrying about whether his foals are going to fall over dead, would you please?

Let's move on to facilities. You know, while all of us would like the idyllic white board fenced establishment of our teenage dreams, those don't come cheap. I understand that many of us end up acquiring fixer-upper properties, upon which the former owners left their collection of junker cars, piles of trash, etc. and it takes time and money to finish the clean-up. But for heaven's sake, PICK YOUR BACKGROUND when you are shooting pics to go on the web! Lead the horse over to where there are only trees behind it, no barbed wire, no vehicles, no farm equipment...and take your picture there!

But no, invariably people pick the worst possible backdrop for their horse pictures. Their horses look like they are living on the set of Sanford & Son! This very special picture is from Mustang Hearts, which pretty much everybody and their grandma knows by now is a wacko hoarder, not a rescue. But assuming you are still trying to pretend you are a rescue, Debbie, don't you think you could have come up with better pictures than these? Surely there is SOME PLACE on your property (wherever it is you live now that you've been evicted) that looks reasonably clean? Nice fenceline. Nice unbelievable amount of crap in with the horses. WTF is that horse eating out of, a dog dish? A flowerpot?

Finally, just like with personal ads, it's not a good idea to describe yourself as a 10 when you're maybe a 2.5 (in low light, at bar time). This colt is described as one that would "make a nice breeding stallion for someone." That is like saying that Jessica Simpson might cure cancer! Rarely have I seen such an astounding set of long, weak, crooked, fucked up pasterns. The fact that he's shaggy, dotted with manure stains, desperately needs his feet trimmed and photographed haphazardly in a grazed-down dirt pen with weeds, chewed on fence and an impressive collection of manure only adds to the impression that this little guy is going to be damn lucky if he hits age two without winding up as a sandwich.

(That colt is AQHA. Can you believe it? YIKES.)

If you put it on the web, it's going to be judged. I admit that one day, in an impulsive moment, I got on a rescue horse wearing a most unflattering pair of cropped sweat pants and now there are pictures of me, on the web, suffering from a bad case of VPL and looking like I had gained 20 pounds. Fortunately, I'm not for sale! (Well, maybe to the right bidder...applicants possessing 40+ acres, a newer dually and an aluminum gooseneck 6 horse or better are welcome to apply...LOL) But seriously, whether you're trying to sell a horse, stand a stallion at stud, or convince donors you're a reputable rescue, appearance matters. Put a little effort into how you present yourself on the web and you won't check this blog one day to find yourself on it!