Hell has frozen over, I think I'm actually speechless!

Click to see the full-size version - but you might want to pour yourself a stiff drink first.

And the knee bone's connected to the...WTF?

Please do not contact the seller. Someone is working on getting this mare rescued.

(Click on the image to see it larger)

Doesn't it just seem like we're running a special on stupid this week? Here we have a $150 solid APHA mare. She's got "a crooked hock bone on her left front leg (say WHAT?)and so cannot be ridden very much and cannot walk in circles." In fact, she is SO f'ed up that "She also will need to be stalled and have a small pasture area." And then you suggest she be used for BREEDING! Are you completely out of your gourd?

You know, if you're gonna sell your totally crippled, six year old mare for $150 including 60 bales of hay, why don't you just call the kill buyer direct and not piss off the rest of us posting this on the Internet? He will be thrilled to get the 60 bales of hay. This deal is a real money-maker for him because you're too much of a spineless twit to do the right thing and euth this poor mare!

Let me guess, you loooove her and just want her to have a good home and that's why you posted...and I am a horrible person for suggesting euthanasia, right?

*head explodes*

Gimmegimmegimmegimmegimme!

(Click on the images to see larger, readable versions)

Now, I have no actual proof that these were posted by the same person, but I'd sure be willing to bet $50 on it. They were posted right in a row and they all have the same cartoons in them, and there's the repetition of the "hope/hop to hear from someone soon" phrase. Yup. My money says same chick!

First, she wants a free horse trailer. Then she wants to rent pastures. Then she wants a really good horse that does "trail ridding."

I am glad to read that you have a job, sunshine. Now get a second job and that way you can save up money for a horse trailer. And stop trying to start a rescue until you know how you are going to finance such a thing. Hint: If you can't afford a horse trailer, you can't afford to rescue!

Every time I see someone begging for stuff to start a rescue, I want to inform them that rescuing costs a lot of money and if you don't have much to begin with, YOU CANNOT START A RESCUE. You CAN volunteer for an already existing rescue, which is what you should do. But none of you seem to want to do that...hmmm, go figure.

How to get on the Fugly blog in 5 easy steps!

1. Name your farm based upon your sickening and disgusting irresponsibility toward animals.

"Along with horses also came "barn cats". Momma cats have babies, and they are always underfoot and get too tame and unafraid of the vehicles. One day John was looking around at all the gimpy cats (that got run over by the truck but not mortally wounded) and stated "This looks more like a crippled cat ranch than a horse ranch" and the name stuck."

As I frequently say, folks, I couldn't make this shit up...This is their ACTUAL logo, by the way. Seriously. These knuckle-dragging Neanderthals think it's FUNNY that they've run over so many of their cats with their truck.

2. Choose broodmares that are terrible representatives of their breed. Like an AQHA mare with no hip, no muscling and a super short croup with a high tail set. Bonus points if you photograph them in ribby condition and pregnant and with a pissed-off look on their face.

Can't really say I blame her!

3. Have a page entitled performers where you brag about your horses who have gone to the Foundation QH shows (known for shaggy, nasty looking horses in nylon halters) for halter class. Um, performance has to do with performing.

4. Leave really long drag ropes on your babies because you are too lazy to halter break them. Bonus points for attaching really long drag ropes to 100% nylon halters so that they can strangle themselves to death if they get hung up.

5. Although you brag about breeding linebred Poco Bueno horses, have the ONLY mention of HERDA on your site be contained in the description on one of your broodmares - a mare where I think I can see skin damage in the picture you posted!

"Abbalena (Tangy's Classy Peppy X Smile Ima Lena) 1999 AQHA sorrrel mare. Both parents were NCHA money earners, and she has a royal pedigree - she's a granddaughter of Peppy San Badger and Doc O Lena on the top side, plus a granddaughter of Doc O Lena on the bottom side. We think she is a HERDA afflicted mare, so we will be very careful who we breed her to. Her 2007 baby will appear on the foals page very soon. She has been bred to Cinco Cash Cat for a 2008 foal."

We THINK? We THINK? We THINK? *head explodes* GET YOUR BREEDING STOCK TESTED! ALL OF IT! NOW! I simply DO NOT understand how you people can risk reproducing a condition that is incredibly painful for the horse when it is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT AVOIDABLE!

No wait. You think running over your cats is cute. OK, never mind...I guess I get it now.

Jared Neves: MOST ignorant AQHA breeder in the US of A!

Original ad - posted on the KLS site. It has been pulled. For those of you not familiar with HERDA, here's my previous blog entry on the topic.

Spanish fork, UT 84660 - Jul 17, 2008

She is a sweet little 4 year old mare that has been on our ranch since she was a baby. Unfortunately she was never broke to ride.

She is a granddaughter of Peppy San Badger. arguably the great cutting horse sire ever. She has something wrong with her skin where it breaks easily. She has a skin disease called Herda which is commonly found in cutting horse lines. She has about a 25% chance of passing it on to the foal. The foal once it's born, even if it has it, the disease may remain dormant all it's life. There is a good chance the foal will be just fine. See her pedigree here at www.allbreedpedigree.com/badger+san+hollywood

Right now she's being exposed to our bay roan stud Doc Hancock Seven. She's been exposed for about 3 months. See his pedigree at www.allbreedpedigree.com/doc+hancock+seven

It gets better. Response sent to a FHOTD poster who tried to POLITELY educate them about everything that is wrong with breeding a mare with HERDA:

"I can't stand when faggots like you use the internet to make themselves seems like God's crusaders. You think you're such a bad-ass. You fucking coward. The truth is you're some red-neck butt fucker who's just jealous that you couldn't breed the mare yourself. Kiss my ass douche bag. Go back to Alabama. Aisforasshole."


He pulled the ad, but fortunately it was not too difficult to find his identity. I love Google. So, just FYI, the homophobic HERDA-breeding ASSHAT's name is Jared Neves of Neves Quarter Horses in Spanish Fork, Utah. Here's a list he's got linked to all of his horses - you can see that mare is on it (and if you can't and he's edited it by now, I saved it. Just like someone else saved his ad for the mare with the skin peeling off her like an onion!)


Jared (or some member of his family entrusted with answering mail on sale horses) is too busy gay-bashing on the Internet to educate himself about why responsible breeders shouldn't breed horses with life-threatening, horrifically painful genetic defects! Hey, Jared, you know what it usually means when you're, like, obsessed with bashing on gay people, right? Two words: Brokeback Mountain.

Poor little mare. Poor little genetically defective foal-to-be. It really is long past time we instituted that IQ test for horse ownership...

Not your idea of fun? Mine either!

Click on the image to see it full sized.

Um, Kim?

- Nobody wants to lease your horse that has three rides on it. Nobody wants to be the free trainer.

- Do you think that maybe it would have made more sense to rescue an old broke horse if you were going to rescue something?

- What in the world makes you think that your unbroke Mustang/TB cross should be used for breeding? Don't you think that might just maybe lead to more horses that need rescuing?

- When you say "She jumps over 6 foot high, when she wants to and is a very very fast runner," every horseperson reading this has an image of you chasing her down the road at 3 AM in your bathrobe and flip flops. Everybody knows how you determined those facts about your filly!

- I am glad you want her to be in a good and loving home. Now suck it up and pay for some professional training so that she can qualify to get that kind of a home. Nobody is going to do this for you for free. NO ONE.

Teaching responsibility by being irresponsible...say what?

So the latest news is that the Oklahoma Baptist Homes for Children, which runs a "boys ranch," got busted selling most of the horses donated to it to slaughter. This is not exactly surprising to me. I learned pretty early that the therapeutic riding center the barn I learned to ride at gave its old lesson horses did the same. This was, however, genuinely shocking to people who had donated horses to the ranch after being promised they'd get a good home. Click here for the video of the news story. Click here for the print story.



From the news article: "Patti Deiter, who owns a Tuttle horse breeding farm, said two horses she donated to the ranch were sold at auction after she was told the animals would be given a good home. She said she determined at least one went to a buyer who planned to take the animal to Mexico for slaughter. She managed to locate the buyer and retrieve the horse, and complained about the ranch's policy."





First of all, Patti, you go girl! Thank you for making the effort to find out what happened and buying your horse back, it's far more than many people would bother to do and I am SO glad you were able to save his life! The horse, FYI, is a Thoroughbred named Tricky Jazz.



Tony Kennedy is the president of the Oklahoma Baptist Homes and he's more full of shit than your average outhouse. Check out his explanation: "We do not sell to slaughter houses,” he said. "We sell to individuals, and we sell at public auctions.” OK, Tony? Anybody with an IQ over 75 knows that selling your unsound or behaviorally challenged horse at public auction MEANS they are going to slaughter. Don't even TRY that lame excuse. If you truly knew so little about horses that you didn't know this, you shouldn't be running a horse program!

As Kennedy admits, they sold horses to make money to run their program. I'm one of those people who says, if the service you're providing isn't worth enough money to people to keep it running, YOU FAILED. Your business failed, and fraudulently taking in horses so you can ship them to slaughter and keep your cushy little non-profit job is despicable.



Of course, Mr. Asshat swiftly reimbursed Deiter for all of her expenses incurred in rescuing the horse, hoping to shush up the embarrassing story about his organization. Zzzzzt, you lose. Didn't work!



The web site brags "Boys learn to accept responsibility by working with the animals which are dependent on them for care. Taking care of the animals helps the boys develop patience and fosters caring, compassionate attitudes towards others and themselves. " Um, again, the blind can't lead the blind. You asshats who ditch horses to the kill buyers can no more teach caring and compassion than my mathematically-challenged self can teach college Calculus. What the HELL kind of message does your behavior send? Do you REALLY think none of these kids are going to find out what happened to the horses?



The whole story makes me sick. It's not just about the horses. You guys lied through your teeth and betrayed the trust of who knows how many humans who loved those horses. You have caused immeasurable suffering while you claim to be Christians. Give me a break. All you are is hypocrites, and I'm glad that's been exposed for the world to see.

They're not accepting further donations of horses. You don't say...

And again, I do not care HOW nice someone appears, or how Christian, or how well-meaning. If you must place a horse for free, background check them like you were going to send your child off with them, get a contract, and FOLLOW UP. (FYI, criminal searches, now free online - check out the people you adopt to!)

Parental Advisory

Don't send your kid to Rocky River Stables if you would like to see them live to graduate elementary school!

Should we just play that old game of trying to see how many things are wrong with a picture? Who would like to start?

Did you know that you are not invisible?

My readers send me stuff like this all the time, and I am always shocked. Not just by the animal's condition but by the fact that the owners took it out in public and somehow did not expect other people to be horrified.

I mean, I don't get it. Do you not know your horse is very skinny? Are you one of the ignoramuses who thinks it's skinny because it's old and that's normal? Do you just think it's nobody else's business what you do (at a public event with hundreds of people)?

And why DIDN'T the judge and/or show management tell these people they could not show this horse? Again, show managers, you gotta have spines here. It really does not make your event look good when something like this is trotting around the arena. Plus it just gives ammunition to the radical "it's mean to ride horses" crowd. Do you really want to give those folks a reason to picket your next event?

This is at a horseshow in Platte City, Missouri - e-mail says the show is today but I don't know if that's a typo. Of course the e-mail does look like it was typed on a phone so that may be correct.

If you don't have the money to feed/vet/figure out WHY the horse is so thin AND FIX IT, you don't have the money to compete! Though from the looks of that rig, these folks ain't hurtin' for cash.

Click on the pic to see a larger version with all the skinny details!

Today I cleaned up your mess

I originally wrote this several years ago, and I didn't write it in Toronto so apparently someone co-opted it and changed a few details, but that's okay. It came back to me via an e-mail forward and I thought it looked familiar, and then I realized I was reading my own material, LOL!

I actually wrote it about a cat I pulled out of the West Los Angeles shelter. I can't remember the name she came with, but the wonderful lady who adopted her from me renamed her Gossip because she was always talkative. She went to live in a three story, incredible beach house in Malibu where she lies and looks at the ocean and enjoys a standard of living that I am sure the asshat who dumped her will never experience. Heh heh heh...

It's not about horses but the same issues apply to horses. I am upset every day about the old horses being thrown out like the trash. I can't clean up any more messes. I can't afford to. There is a red chestnut 22 year old TB mare screaming my name from Craigslist right now, and I just can't do it. It's a frustrating world for those of us who care about animals. I just wish their owners cared half as much as we do.

~~~~~~~~~~

You decided that you wanted to move to an apartment that didn't allow pets (and by the way, landlords are forbidden to do this in Toronto). I don't know what lured you. Maybe it was a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Maybe it was a great view. Maybe you liked the woodwork.

At any rate, it was more important to you than she was. So you took her down to the shelter, still wearing her cute little pink leopard collar with a bow, and you cheerfully wrote on the card that she was very healthy for her age and friendly and just likes to sleep in the sun! I guess you knew her pretty well - you put her birthday down on the card, too, making me believe you've probably had her for her entire life. Then you left, secure in your rationalization that somehow, in the midst of kitten season, your seventeen year old cat would find a home. The shelter took a picture of her scared face and big eyes and put it on the web.

For two weeks, I looked at that picture. I hoped someone else would see her fear and feel compelled to help her, but the public wasn't seeing her. She was back in isolation, getting vitamin B shots and subcutaneous fluids. The tech wrote "depressed" on her card. I'm not surprised. I'd be depressed too if I went from "sleeping in the sun" to a metal cage with a thin layer of newspaper.

Finally today, I couldn't stand it anymore. I felt too guilty thinking about her sitting in that cage at her age. So I went down and I got her, and now she's curled up on a fleece baby blanket in a cat tree in my bathroom. When I go in there, she rubs her head on my hand.

Today, I cleaned up your mess. I felt worse for your cat than you did. And all over the city, other rescuers did the same. They rescued your abandoned cats and dogs and bunnies and exotics. And we all wondered the same thing as we did it: How could you create this situation? How is it that you feel no remorse? How is it that you were you able to walk away from an animal you shared your home with for a year, ten years, fifteen years, knowing that they might die because of your actions?

I'll never meet you to ask you those questions. I just hope I meet the person who will be good enough to give your baby that sunny spot to sleep for the rest of her life (however long that is). She deserves it, and it's a crying shame you didn't have the decency to give it to her.

~~~~~~~~~
(I'll add a picture of the cat if I ever get my domain straightened out. I let it expire, oops, and now my nameservers were wrong and blahblahblah and that's why my e-mail is bouncing so don't freak out, it'll be fixed soon!)

We ain't feedin' her nuthin' and we STILL can't ride 'er!

"Shamrock is a great horse for an intermediate to advanced rider. She wants to run and needs an experienced rider that can "show her who the boss is." She is slightly underweight but with the proper diet can stay at her expected size. She has no health issues and has undergone 10+ hours of training. A great horse for a child learning to ride or a smaller adult looking for a pleasure riding horse."

Shamrock doesn't need to be shown who's boss. Shamrock needs to be shown some damn hay! WTF, Mr. Jeff Seale who has this horse for sale, if you think this is slightly underweight then I'm willing to consider you might be only slightly an asshat. The horse looks like shit. And I don't think she's an Arabian, or at least not a purebred. And from the looks of that swayback, I'll be very surprised if she's not old enough to vote and then some. And if you think she can stay at her "expected" size, why isn't she there now? And while we're at it, how can you say she needs an intermediate to experienced rider who can "show her who the boss is" in one line and only three sentences later claim she'd be a great horse for a child learning to ride? Contradict yourself much, Jeff? AND on top of ALL of this, you want $1500 for your skinny grade hard-to-ride horse who is approximately 17 years old. Hey, I want to have an affair with Chris Noth but at least I know I'm not gonna get that!

OOOOH it gets better. I googled Mr. Seale's phone number and guess what? He is the barn manager at this lovely facility. Damn, you'd think they could afford feed, wouldn't you? And if she'd be a great horse for a child learning to ride, YOU'D BE KEEPING HER because that's what your barn DOES!

From their site:


"Our facilities and personnel are “top notch.” At Academy Stables, our singular goal is to present the professionalism, knowledge and safety to thus create an environment in which the horse and rider can maximize the benefits of the collective experience. "


What, exactly, about the ad above, would make you think your barn manager is "top notch" or has any clue what professionalism, knowledge or safety are? Hell, the contradiction between the description of what the mare is like to ride pretty much knocks out all three of those.


Here's Jeffy boy, by the way. He's the trainer! Of course, he's another Natural Horsemanship Wacko who brags about taking his techniques from Pat Parelli. (Maybe we'll just call them NHW's from now on) You can read all about his training techniques (if you actually care). Too bad they failed miserably on the 17 year old skinny grade horse above and she still needs someone to "show her who's boss."





'Course here's their hunter/jumper trainer. Uh-huh. George Morris would have a field day.



And don't miss their sale horses. For only $3000 you can have a QH gelding (not sure if it even has papers, as it is referred to only by a barn name) that "follows both direct and indirect reigning" One wonders which nation he is reigning over! I guess that is kind of a good price for a horse with that kind of political savvy.



OK, you MUST follow the sale horses link. For only $8000 you can have, BAR NONE, the MOST hideously fugly Appendix QH gelding I have EVER seen. And what is it this week with scary jumping on very tolerant palomino horses? That's like our theme for the week on FHOTD!


For future reference: The horse will not jump better if you jump higher than it does. Really. That doesn't help.


(I truly don't understand. Why, in these days of digital cameras, don't you just take 50 or 100 pictures til you get one that looks good and use that on your web site? The only possible explanation is you don't know what good is. And that frightens me.)


Hey, if you're sick of your kid, you can send them to a 5 day horse camp here where on the last day, they show off their skills doing barrels and poles. 'Cause THAT'S what you should be doing 5 days into your riding career! Gooooood idea.


It really is a lovely facility. They just need to upgrade their hiring standards, and not try to dump inexplicably scrawny horses on DreamHorse for all to see.



(Cue legal threats from Jeffy boy. I just have a feeling about this one...)

Let's out the NON-asshats today!

For those of you who love positive posts...

Today I'd like to out the non-asshats. Who can you recommend who sells horses honestly? Tells you the truth about their age, training, what kind of rider they're suitable for?

Everybody advertises horses as ranch broke. What ranches really DO sell super broke, novice friendly horses who have seen and done it all?

What about rescues? Who adopted from a rescue and the horse was exactly as described and the rescue has been supportive and you love the horse?

Or trainers? Who did you send a horse to and you got what you paid for and were super happy with the results? And they were kind to your horses and the horse came back happier than it left?

I could name a lot of names, but I'm going to keep this brief. Years ago I used to do a lot of business with a horse dealer who is still in business. His name is Fred Carney, and he's in Wadsworth, Illinois. I will always remember this about Fred: We had gone to look at a medium bay pony for one of my lesson students. I think she was 9 or 10 at the time. Pony rode awesome. Broke to death. Loved it. I was going to come back with a trailer and the money the next day.

Fred called me that night. He told me the pony had displayed aggression in the stall and wasn't safe for a kid, so I shouldn't buy him.

WHO DOES THIS? OMG. Seriously, I would say MORE often than not, a big time hunter barn would keep that little freshly discovered fact to themselves, collect the money and send Satan Pony home with the new buyer. And then claim he'd NEVER done anything like that EVER before when he chomped on the kid. I got 100% ethical, absolute honesty from a dealer. I was so impressed. That is probably 15 years ago now, or more, and I will never forget it.

Fred also boarded the draft horses that were rescued from an overturned double-decker last fall.

Remember, you can use HTML to make links in your comments to their web sites or to pictures. You cannot use the IMG SRC tag but you can use A HREF. If you don't know any of this, click here to learn.

(P.S. If you post to this thread pretending to be a customer of yourself, YOU ARE AN ASSHAT. Grow the fuck up. We'll probably just bust you doing it, anyway. You folks who do stuff like that aren't typically very smart.)

Although she's not yet available for adoption, I had to feature Harmony as today's Friday Featured Rescue. First of all, she sounds like the sweetest thing ever, and secondly, I have a "Harmony." She's being rehabbed by Bluebonnet Equine Humane Society and they could definitely use donations earmarked for her care.

"This mare is a sweet as they come. She seems to appreciate everything you do for her and thanks you with a nicker." Harmony is just 9 years old, and is a 16.2 Thoroughbred. She needs to be some Fugly blog reader's show horse so I can hear her updates! She's in Elgin, Texas.

Happy Friday, everybody!

If only the forever homes were truly forever...

Remember when I featured Snuggles, of Saddlebred Rescue, as a Friday Featured Rescue?

They have identified him. His registered name is Hot Air. When they contacted his former owner, she was horrified to learn he had nearly gone to slaughter. She had, like so many, given him to a "forever home."

Here he is in his "glory days."

I'm not bashing on his former owner a bit when I say this, but it's a GREAT time to reiterate...THE ONLY FOREVER HOME THAT YOU KNOW IS FOREVER IS YOURS!

Before you give away or donate a horse you love and care about, ask yourself if your peace of mind isn't worth the $200 - $300 a month that retirement board would cost you.

If Saddlebred Rescue had not been there, this guy would have been a steak. Quality DOES NOT protect them, especially when they are seniors! (and at some low end auction where nobody recognizes their quality)

Think, really think about it, before you pass that old horse along. By the way, this superstar is still available for adoption. He's still very much rideable and wouldn't he look adorable doing the 13 & under classes? Contact Saddlebred Rescue for more information.

The blind leading the blind...

My question today is: Why are so many people teaching others who are so unqualified themselves? This person's web site scares me. She was discovered by an alert reader when she posted offering vaulting lessons.

"COME JOIN A CLASS OF VAULTING GYMNASTICS ON HORSE BACK FOR KIDS 5 AND UP teaches balance and confidence on a horse and is great fun. We have a vaulting trained horse and I have been teaching for over 20 years I was the for coach for a british jr team in England for 3 years this is a fun sport. I am wanting to start up a vaulting club meeting once a week If you think your kids would like to try this send me an email check out our web site at www.suffolkfarm.com

Just a thought: Maybe the kid standing on one foot on a horse's back should have a helmet on. Ya think? After, all, YOUR OWN WEB SITE states "It is manditory for all students under 18 to wear helmets." So that kid is 18? Could have fooled me. You know, when you SAY these things on your site, you should make sure the pictures match what you're preaching. Is that complicated?

The owner hails from England, so all I can say is: English is not her second language. Apparently she just slept through grade school:

"At 16 I enroled in the YTS. Youth training Scheme which provided on the job training with collage time also. My training was dune at Newton Hall Equitation Center in Swilland Suffolk It was a mixed commeral yard riding school hunting and show yard. After the corse was over I stayed on as a working student. After a year I moved on to work for Mr Robert Hagg at High House Farm Stables near Stowmarket Suffolk. It as a training yard that did eventing and hunting mostly we did alot so braking and schooling of clients horses."

Oh well. Maybe at least those horses of hers have good braking!

(Check out her Hefflinger gelding for $600 on the sale page. What is that? A Haflinger that needs Jenny Craig? A cross between a Haflinger and a Heffalump?)

Of course, no asshat's web site would be complete without a picture of their 14 year old daughter "braking" her not-yet-two-years-old filly!

"Just before we left for KY, Vicky started braking Peaches she got her saddled and rode her the second day The little mare did not buck once She is a very carm girl Peaches is doing very well The pic is their 3rd ride together."

I looked up the filly on AQHA. Foaled 7/12/06. So she started "braking" her at 21 months. Greeaaaaat. Well, like most horses ridden this early, I'll bet she winds up broke - in more ways than one! Broke to ride and broke down. C'mon, one look at that filly should tell you she's not ready to carry weight.

(And pick up a f'ing brush once in a while, it won't kill you. Jeezus, my retired mares that sit in the field get groomed more than this filly.)

(And I thought you Europeans knew better than to ride babies. I thought it was just we Americans that were guilty of that crap for the most part. What happened here? Did y'all kick her out of Europe for being an asshat?)

Aha, I think I figured out all the weird e-mails!

Someone is using the resqtb@yahoo.com e-mail via form submission on the web to send hate mail to sellers and pretend they are me.

I do not ever do this.

If you receive e-mail directly FROM resqtb@yahoo.com, not from a form on the web, then it is most likely me (unless someone fakes the send-from address, which is possible)

However, unless you initiate contact, I do not EVER normally make direct contact with a target of the blog. I say what I have to say on the blog.

Any e-mails received via form mail using my e-mail address are not me. Just as anyone can post to the blog and say they are fuglyhorseoftheday, and the only way to check is to click on the name and see that it's the real me, registered May 2007, anyone can submit a form using my e-mail address.

If it doesn't sound like me, it's probably not me.

Today's like Weird Inexplicable Hate Mail Day

Now I got this one, from someone named Christy Jackson. The subject line is "Horse." (Wow. Thanks. That gives me a BIG clue. If it was "Yak," at least I could narrow it down a bit!)

"It wasn't her, it was her sire, you JERK! Are you going to give the owner of the sire the $3000 dollars it takes for a 3 yr old to be nominated? As that's when she acquired the stallion. Not that idiots like you deserve an explanation."

Christy, dear? This blog has over 500 posts. I have no idea what you are talking about. Nominated for what? An Oscar? A Nobel Peace Prize? The Breeders' Cup? WTF costs $3000? I have no idea and nothing in your angry little e-mail is giving me even half a clue.

Perhaps I should publish a guide to writing effective hate mail to the Fugly blog?

1. Identify what it is you are pissed about - preferably by date and post title.

2. Identify who you are (the breeder? the trainer? the breeder's best friend from her Harlequin Romance Reading Group? a fan of HYPP H/H halter horses?)

3. Try to avoid any of the following, which tend to weaken your defense:

(a) hideous spelling
(b) hideous grammar
(c) pretending to be a lawyer
(d) pretending you have a lawyer on retainer (esp. when I can Zillow your property and see that you live in a mobile home in Missouri valued at $36,214.)
(e) saying that you can do whatever you want, this is America (really does just make you look like an asshat and embarrasses the rest of us)

Just some tips that I hope will prove helpful!

I love my hate mail!

Don't get me wrong, I love all the nice fan mail I get too...but you positive folks simply cannot match the level of humor provided by the people who don't like me!

Today's offering, from sseidel2@new.rr.com

"For your information I did not bred this horse keep to your own business. I'm an attorney so keep it up and see what happens because I have already reported you.

Have a Nice Day!!"

Why, S. Seidel, whoever you are, and your e-mail has given me no clue, I am having a nice day. It's even nicer since I had my morning giggle thanks to your ludicrous e-mail!

1. You would think that at some point in the 17 years of education you'd have to acquire prior to entering law school that someone would have taught you the difference between "bred" and "breed."

2. As I always, sadly, have to point out to you people - this blog would not be possible if I minded my own business. Not minding my own business, and commenting on other people's practices and poor breeding decisions, is the purpose of the blog. Perhaps this is confusing to you?

3. I hope you are an attorney. If so, bring it on! I would love to do battle with someone of your intellectual capacity in court. That would be way fun.

4. Who have you reported me to? Miss Manners? I am dying to know. Kindly elaborate.

I still have no idea which horse was S. Seidel's but, really, who cares? The e-mail is funny enough even without knowing!

Discussion: How to price horses these days?

Pricing sale horses correctly has always been a challenge. I remember years ago seeing a well broke but not finished, pretty AQHA mare sit and sit and sit at $2500. The owner finally got the idea to up her price to $3500. I bet she was sold in two weeks. Whoever bought her was looking to spend $3500, that's what they searched for, and that's what they got. Go figure.

In the last year, I've seen horses who sold for $5000 just a few years ago go for under $1000. I've also seen a pony purchased for $500 get resold with some training and showing for $8000. That's kind of obvious - training and showing successfully will up the price on any horse, but there's more to it. A lot was presentation. The pony at $8000 was clipped, shiny, and living in an A circuit barn. He was a long way from the feedlot he'd come off of less than a year earlier.

But, you know, it's just a weird time to sell horses. Like I said, I can get you a free Thoroughbred any day of the week and I know of quite a few free Quarter Horses right now. The Thoroughbreds are just track broke, they may need some lay up, but still, free is pretty cool.

Here's what I've observed in the past few years about selling horses:

1) If there's any kind of a major flaw or what people perceive as a major flaw - cribbing, not tying, swayback, a maintenance issue - you are screwed. You are looking at $1000 or under with one exception - if the horse is in a Big Name Trainer's barn and the BNT can talk some amateur into the sale.

2) Much of the general horse-buying public still thinks anything over 12 is old, and that they shouldn't have to pay very much for it.

3) Most people don't want to train their own. They absolutely will pay $5000 for a trained TB instead of picking up one for free that is fresh off the track and paying someone to train it or doing it themselves. I think this has to do with risk. They just don't want to gamble. They want to see the finished product even if that costs them more money. They are making not just a financial, but an emotional investment in a horse, and they don't want to have to go back to the drawing board and try again.

Like I say, I have a list a mile long of free horses I can get you. Some are giveaways, some are care leases, but if you want a horse, I can get you one. Most need training, some need rehabbing. But for those who have sound, trained horses for sale - how do you price them these days? I think a lot of people are completely baffled at what the values really are in today's market, where so many excellent horses are going cheap or free because of an inability to provide for them.

Let's discuss this a bit. Name your part of the country and tell me what the following would sell for or what you've actually sold the following for this year. My answers are below for the categories of horses I've sold or friends have sold in the past year. I'm in the PNW.

a) well broke trail horse, safe for a beginner, either grade or unremarkably-bred registered horse (free to $700)

b) too young to ride, but with breed/rated show potential ($1500 - $5000)

c) too young to ride, 4-H/open show potential (free to $1000)

d) green broke, with breed/rated show potential ($2500)

e) green broke, 4-H/open show potential ($800)

f) OTTB, ready to be retrained (free to $1000)

g) OTTB, retrained and ready to compete or been to a few shows ($5000)

This should be interesting, and informative. I think we all agree that the way to sell them these days is training, training, training (and a competition record is even better), but now I want to talk about what they are actually selling for. I think the other big factor is presentation (is the horse clipped? shiny? good weight? is the handler/rider/seller professional? is the horse at a nice facility?) What else do you think makes the difference between selling the same horse for $5000 or $1000? (We know it happens all the time!)

Thoroughbreds, trailers, etc. - Washington State

Forwarded by a friend - this farm owner was severely kicked by a colicking mare he was trying to help and has incurred major medical bills. He must disperse. Prices are right on the horses, and there are several terrific-sounding horse trailers as well. There are a few AQHA horses also. These horses are in Eastern Washington.

Sales List

SJP, I love you but...

I snorked my diet coke at this:

http://www.sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.com/

Disclaimer: Love SJP. Love SATC. Still haven't seen the damn movie as I'm too busy. Think it's great that she hasn't fixed her nose. But it's still funny!

Updates, updates, updates!

Although the Fugly blog is not exactly a formal rescue (and I am not looking to make it one), we have managed to upgrade some horses in the past year through our readership. Today I want to give some updates on how those horses are doing! I am sure I am missing some, so please post to the comments if you rescued/upgraded a horse featured on the blog and have new pics and stories to share. I did not deliberately forget you, but it is early and the coffee is still kicking in.

First of all, who can forget poor Scarlet, registered name Hanks QD Too? She was ridden through the ring at the Pony Express Auction in horrible condition and sold for $35. The auctioneer gave her to Julie, who offered to rehab her for 4-H. (And unlike our friend MeSue the low-life horse dealer, Julie was telling the truth!) After her rescue, she was found to be a daughter of AQHA Champion Impressive Bar Leo out of a daughter of AQHA Champion Blondy's Dude who'd had many foals for her former owners (by incredibly poorly chosen stallions. My god. If you're gonna buy a nice mare, breed her to a nice stallion. How hard is it?) These days, Scarlet has her own blog and is packing around a beginner kid. Julie, her rescuer, has done a fabulous job rehabbing her and she is shiny, happy, and will never have to pop out a baby or wonder where her next meal is coming from ever again. I love this story. I cannot wait to see the show pictures - I know they are coming!

See folks, it is NOT that damn hard to get these old broodies riding again. It is a hell of a lot easier than breaking out some wild ass young thing. Some of you re-riders could do it. Why don't you give it a try? These mares are free all over. If you're in Seattle, I can get you a free Thoroughbred any day of the week. I am not kidding. Contact me if you want one.

Then I posted a $200 pony stud that seemed to have both legs coming out of the same spot, he was so thin. Our reader NCCatnip, with the help of some others, took in Prince and another mare Cricket. That was in April and, just a few months later, both are up to weight and looking great! (Can you BELIEVE that is Prince on the left? How cute is he? He still has some filling out to do but now he looks like a normal baby in an awkward stage, not a starving Ethiopian!) Prince will still have some growing to do before he is old enough to break, but the plan is to get Cricket going this year and find her a 4-H kid of her very on. She has turned out wonderfully and I am sure someone will be very lucky to have her. Another great rehab job!

Of course, no one will ever forget the drama of Colin, aka Petersburg Knight, who was given to a lady promising a good home in 4-H and immediately taken to the Enumclaw Auction where he was sold to kill. It was only some very good luck that saved him. I got an e-mail on Monday morning and the rest is history. He was quickly adopted by blog reader La Mexicana, who knew him back when he was at faux rescue Pacific Equestrian Center. He has his own web site too, so you can see how he's coming along. (Note the pictures of him happily and calmly grazing with others - this horse has NEVER shown any aggression, MeSue, you are SO full of shit.) The hoof rehab is particularly interesting to read. I am thrilled he got such a great home!

Off Colin went and from Enumclaw came Lucy. Lucy was a little black Thoroughbred mare with four white socks and a blaze, 14 years old, who had been in the kill pen and was fortunately rescued by Shannon Hendrickson of Signature West Farm. Thanks to Shannon for saving her (and I believe nine others). She needed a place to go so I took her in for a month of R&R after her traumatic experience. When I started working with her, it was apparent she needed more ground work because she had a lot of fear issues. Stephanie Korhel stepped up and she went over to the barn she trains out of a week ago. As you can see, Lucy is getting over her fear issues nicely.

Look, she got over being afraid of having her butt touched! The first time I did this, she took off like a shot, thereby intimidating my 40 year old chickenshit re-rider self into not getting on her. She will probably always be a little headshy - someone was not nice to this mare - but with a kind and patient person, we think she is going to be great. She is available for adoption - let me know if you'd like to meet her.

More things you've asked about: Dean Solomon's animal cruelty trial will be in September. You can bet I'll be posting updates! Let's hope that justice prevails and Dean gets the punishment she deserves.

I updated on Footloose, last year's auction rescue, a few days ago. She will be moving to a new barn with a great arena, jump course, etc. on August 1st and starting her new career. We'll see how sound she is and what her talents are, but are hoping some low level eventing is in her future. She is the sweetest mare ever and I'm so glad that a friend owns her and that I'll continue to hear how she is doing.

Remember Sunny, the cute, old, and scrawny Quarab? He is now with Save a Forgotten Equine and is not so scrawny anymore and doing much better. He is still seeking his forever home, so if you have room an old guy with a lot of personality, contact SAFE!

Another one of those weekends where I just can't get organized...

So you're getting a little bit of this and a little bit of that!

First off - seriously, people, I am not being a meanie when I suggest that you need to be able to walk, trot and canter without your stirrups before you start jumping. I truly DO NOT want to see you get hurt. This woman IS going to get hurt. She is extremely loose and precariously perched up there. She does not even know how to hold English reins. I am glad she is wearing a helmet and boots but all the safety equipment in the world cannot protect you when this is how you ride. You are just not ready to jump. Please, please, please, for the love of God, back to flatwork! Now!

Big FHOTD kudos to auctioneer Allen Murphy, who runs the Pony Express Auction. I hear Mr. Murphy has been snarking the asshats big time, right to their slimy little faces. Observe:

"March 22nd 2008 - The auctioneer saves the day again. Also, for those who do not know, the auctioneer is none other than Allen Murphy, owner of the sale barn. He bought almost ten skinny horses for $25-$400 and shook his head in disgust. He said something to the people who brought them to. One of the things he said went along the lines of "I would kick you out of here, but I'm gonna let you sell your horse in hopes that it gets a better home." After commenting on the shape of a 16 month old BROKE TO RIDE dun colt, he also said: "Where are the PETA people when you actually need them" He also paid for a couple other horses for other people, like he did with the bay mare. A guy came in with a 6 year old stallion that really needed to be a gelding, and when someone asked if the horse was broke, the guy said he didn't know but would find out... he proceeded to tie the leadrope around, and jump on the horse bareback. When the horse got nervous and moved around, the guy kicked him in the stomach. Allen quickly put an end to that. At the end of the sale, Allen made the comment "My luck I'll be on the internet again!" I had to laugh, wandering if he meant your blog, when he was mentioned about the other skinny horse."

Mr. Murphy, if you are single, you ought to send me your e-mail address, because I think I can get about 320 women in your area fighting over you with a single post. :-) What a NICE change from the usual (cough, cough, WOODBURN) auction where you cannot even take pictures because they're afraid you will turn someone in to animal control!

For those of you in Maryland who might want a new rescue project, I'm informed that Days End Rescue still has a bunch of the horses seized from hoarder wacko Barbara Reinken last year that could really use homes of their own. Of course all rehab has been done at this point so they are ready to go. If you need a project, check them out! (Days End also has a couple Standardbreds that were being kept in a chicken coop, holy shit, terrible pics...those people need to be publicly flogged. I really think public flogging for animal abusers would be a great idea. I'm thinking we put it on Pay-per-view.) Days End has a lot of rideable, fully evaluated adoptables. Check them out!

I expected better from you Welsh pony people. Why do you have a barefoot child hugging on a foal on your magazine cover? And why is it that we can look down her shirt? Really, did anybody look at this picture before you decided to feature it? I can't believe that even though you are writing about a breed where you can find tons of pics of adorable hunter ponies and smiling ribbon-waving kids, you made such a poor choice.

Speaking of Welshies, I hear from several people that this chick is dumping her culls at the Hermiston auction. Really, I think there is a special place in hell for high-end breeders who do that. What, like you can't get off your dead ass and sell them to a 4-H or OHSET kid? Oh wait, then someone would know the Less Than Perfect Pony came from YOUR farm...

And here's another asshat breeding grade spotted things. Lots of them. The locals tell me these folks are pretty good for horse-beating masquerading as horse training, too. Greaaaat. 'Cause the only thing better than grade, spotted shit is headshy, traumatized, grade spotted shit.

Can't you just take one look at this guy and believe that he's a horse-beater? I sure can. He's just got that look to him. You aren't trainer of the year if you can make a horse lie down because you weigh more than it does.

Remember, if you're going to send me Craigslist posts, screen cap them. They won't still be there by the time I am likely to get to your e-mail. That way I can tell everybody to click on it (like at left) and they can see it in all its glory or lack thereof.

This was a few months ago so I do hope poor Addy got a home with someone who has some !$&*$!&$ hay. Grrrrrrrrr.

Yet more ignorant yearling-riding asshats.

"Ed is a two year old dirty palomino gelding that we started when he was a year and seven months old. He will roll back on his hocks, has a great stop, and a pleasure lope. Not only that, but he will look at a cow and has even been used as a turnback horse during his training. Swing a rope off of him, log, even carry a tarp or a blanket flapping in the wind. Rode outside in the hills and nothing bothers him. See Ed at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNOKOD0DoSs. We have had Ed since he was a baby and have enjoyed seeing him mature. We are thrilled about his new home and future. CONGRATS MICHELLE AND EMILY!"

Michelle and Emily, you might want to think about buying stock in Luitpold and Pfizer, 'cause girls, you're gonna be buying A LOT of Adequan and Legend trying to keep Ed sound past age six.

Look kids, the circus is in town!

Nope, it's just an Andalusian show. But WTF is this? It looks like he is a lion tamer.

http://www.andalusiannews.com/

The video is way longer than it needs to be, and it does kind of smack of personal vendetta, but it's worth watching. You gotta see this rank piece of spotted shit that got named National Champion because this Gareth Selwood dude, who looks remarkably like an extra from a Lord of the Rings movie, is hot shit in the Andalusian world. The horse looks like it wants to kill him and I'm guessing he's given it damn good reason.

I'm so sick of people saying their horse is showing the wonderful "spirit" of its breed when it acts like this. No, your horse is showing that it's a rank piece of shit. I don't care if it's an Arab, a Saddlebred, an Andalusian, or a fire-breathing dragon, it ought to be able to trot next to you in a controlled fashion and, for the most part, stand where you set it up in a halter class. It can trot next to you with its neck arched and its tail in the air, truly it can. Of course I guess it would help if some of you guys didn't train them at home by chasing them with fire extinguishers...

Anyway, any Andalusian people here? What do you think? Are the shows that crooked? Why is this strange, troll like man such a big shot? Why hasn't he been kicked in the head by one of these pissed off horses yet? What about a horse striking at your head is supposed to be appealing?

And do you think if we mailed him a chair so that his show ring equipment would be complete, that he would get the hint?

Stop listening to your trainers like a bunch of sheep!

WTF?

http://www.thehorse.com/ViewArticle.aspx?ID=12310

All of you who show horses need to start educating yourselves and not just accepting it blindly when your trainer says something is okay. It is your responsibility. This is really sad.

Everybody does not do this crap. Vote with your dollars and take your horse and your money to barns that don't.

That sunshine and butterflies post you've been asking for!

OK, I really do have something happy to report!

Remember Footloose, the auction rescue from last year? Here she is. Her whole plan has changed since I last talked about her because (a) we found out she was not breeding sound (probably why she got ditched) and (b) nine months off sitting in the pasture and she's completely sound to ride (she looked off at the sale). So she has a new future now - my friend who posts here as Princess Jess has just purchased her and is going to start retraining her. If all goes well, she may even be an eventer!

Thanks to our friend Laurie who is providing some interim boarding for her until Jess moves to her new barn. Laurie has just rescued a nine million year old Arabian mare and she and Footy are keeping each other company! (That is her big ol' tail in the pic) Yay Laurie! The nine million year old Arabian mare is looking for a forever home, so if you're in the Portland, Oregon area, e-mail Laurie for info.

Miss Lucy, the recent auction rescue, is over with Stephanie Korhel now and she is working with her. She reports that Lucy is very sweet (yes, she is!) and she is doing ground work with her. I'm sure Lucy is broke but at this point we're going to try to get over some of the headshyness and the fear of things touching her butt before we move to under-saddle work. She is also available for adoption. Lucy is in Enumclaw, Washington.

If you're in the Seattle or Portland area and interested in a companion horse, I know of quite a few Quarter Horses that are available for a year lease. This is kind of a nice scenario, as you're not stuck with them forever - if you need a short-term, returnable companion, e-mail me. A few are broke/rideable, two have good open show potential and one of those has been successfully shown by a youth. Purchase possible on some of them if you fall in love, terms possible. Site check/contract/no barbed wire, the usual conditions apply.

Now something for the AUSTRALIANS: I have had an inquiry from someone trying to fatten up an old TB mare in Australia. Problem is, she is talking about feeds I have never heard of, so I feel clueless! Can you Aussie senior horse pros give her some advice as to what to feed an old girl? She is currently getting 4 kg. of Mitavite Gumnuts senior feed and 2 biscuits of lucerne hay daily. (Gumnuts? Biscuits? WTF? I'm an American, I'm lost!) They've done the teeth, deworming, etc. What would you recommend, that is available in Australia?

Here is a Friday Featured Rescue for you East Coast folks. This is a Re-Run mare in New York. I really like this mare and just from looking at her, I will bet she is very smooth gaited and great to ride. They say she is an alpha mare under saddle, so you need to be confident enough to be the boss, but has great ground manners and can be handled by anyone. She looks like a wonderful prospect to me and has a great name...Hoochie Mama. LOL! She's just $500 - go and get her. I see a $5000+ mare here with just a bit of training effort on your part.

Have a GREAT weekend everybody and good luck on your shows/trail rides/training!